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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that PILs want us to go to a holiday destination just because I can 'speak' the local language?

94 replies

Vixxxen · 16/01/2014 22:03

PIL are obsessed that this year we must all go on holiday to a country that is a reasonable famous holiday destination in the summer. All good a part that the only reason why they want to go there in the first place is because I can speak the language. I am a native of other country who has the same language however a very different accent and dialect. Depending on the region where they book the place it can be very difficult for me to understand the locals.

I am telling them that the language doesn't matter, every member of the staff in these places will speak English and they should focus on the best value for money instead of just the language.

There are many nicer places out there IMO but they are obsessed in going to this country just so I can speak with the locals in their language and get "better deals" whatever it is.

There are other countries that are much more interesting to me tbh but I wouldn't mind going there where PILs want to, but the language pressure is putting me off.

The fact they decided on it and won't open their mind is putting me off too.

MIL just sent me a ling on FB and I wrote up a reply but didn't hit the send button as I don't want to be rude, but I am basically explaining the same things I am saying here, yet again.

And yes we will pay our share, so I want to have some say on the country not only location but they are not listening.

And yes they have been to a few different countries before and never had problems with people NOT speaking English, so why this now?

OP posts:
AngelaDaviesHair · 16/01/2014 22:10

Can you just be blunt and tell them that you'd prefer to go to X place instead?

IamGluezilla · 16/01/2014 22:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaptainSweatPants · 16/01/2014 22:13

My one rule in life is never to go on holiday with inlaws Grin

Unexpected · 16/01/2014 22:14

Why are you going on holiday with your PILs anyway? That would be my idea of hell.

Original poster
Vixxxen · 16/01/2014 22:18

I am not German.

I want to go to many other countries but nothing in particular and I am really not going to do the whole holiday research because I did it last year when me, Dh and Dd went to my home country and that was stressful enough.

I suggested some countries but apparently MIL isn't taking on board atm.

I am not mad about going with them, however, we have been to a few small holidays before, all fine. Also Dd is the only grandchild and my own family is miles apart, so I don't mind going with them that much.

OP posts:
SanityClause · 16/01/2014 22:20

What does your DH have to say about it?

Original poster
Vixxxen · 16/01/2014 22:25

He is happy. He doesn't mind going on holidays with PIL and he will go anywhere as long as he can drink beer and relax.

I am just wondering why they are so obsessed with language, do they think I will be there on 24h call translating for them?
Also I am not good at haggling, not sure what kind of special deals they want me to get for them? They are under the impression we will all be treated better if at least I can communicate with the locals using their own language??

I think the locals will respond better to tips tbh Gin

OP posts:
Original poster
Vixxxen · 16/01/2014 22:27

Will just shorten up my reply to MIL and ask why the language is so important for her, as she know well everyone speaks English on a touristic destination.

It is not like they want to go on a adventure....they want a villa and probably the place will be overflowing with British people anyway.

OP posts:
Hassled · 16/01/2014 22:28

Do they think they're being kind - generously giving you the opportunities you must be so badly missing to speak your language?

Or are they just really, really stupid?

If you're paying your share, just say no, I don't want to go there. Then repeat it, again and again.

Bogeyface · 16/01/2014 22:32

They seem to be labouring under the delusion that the locals will think you are also a local so you wont get the tourist prices!

Quite apart from being astoundingly racist ("Well, they're all the same arent they?!") it is ridiculous.

As they said in Grange Hill "Just Say NO!" They cant force you to go, so don't.

Bogeyface · 16/01/2014 22:33

And I have just realised that the Grange Hill comment was incredibly stupid as you said that you are not from the UK :o Blush

SeaSickSal · 16/01/2014 22:34

Are you Brazilian and they want to go to Portugal.

I can understand it's annoying but is it really worth getting worked up over? You've said you would be happy to go where they wanted if it wasn't for this language thing and I really don't think it's that much of an issue. I think you're getting worked up about something which is not that important.

Caitlin17 · 16/01/2014 22:35

Frankly "mil "and "holiday together" is a non - starter without any of the consideration

Original poster
Vixxxen · 16/01/2014 22:35

I think they are just been shallow.
I speak my language all the time, I have lots of friends from my country.
They are thinking about them and the deals I can get and the special treatment they will receive if we go there.
I just messaged her saying that her link looks nice but does she have any real recommendation or the place or is just going by photos on internet? Also suggested her to research France and Greece.
Gave her a Siblu mini catalogue the other day, she said she was gonna have a look. Maybe she threw in the bin lost it on her way home...

OP posts:
PortofinoRevisited · 16/01/2014 22:37

Book your own holiday?

PortofinoRevisited · 16/01/2014 22:38

I wouldn't even let DH book my holiday let alone anyone else.

Original poster
Vixxxen · 16/01/2014 22:38

seasick unless the people you are holidaying with expect you to haggle and get good deals all the time??

I don't even do it at my homecountry as I think the locals need to earn some money.

I don't go out on holidays to take advantage of the locals.

Unless it is a place where you are supposed to haggle anyway, but I never been to such a place and wouldn't get a good deal anyway because I am not good at haggling.

OP posts:
Mumzy · 16/01/2014 22:41

Just tell them NO! They sound like nightmare holiday companions and will depend on you sorting everything out for them and explaining everything in minute details. We use to go with my inlaws in Britain where they spoke the native language and it was exactly like that. Even the fact the babysat the dcs so we could go out a few evenings didn't make up for it

SanityClause · 16/01/2014 22:41

So, DH doesn't mind, so long as he can relax and have a couple of beers? Why don't you find something suitable, and sell it to him, then you can work on PIL together.

Don't tell them you don't want to go because of the language thing - just say you don't really fancy it, and would rather go to [place you and DH want to go to].

Or, suck it up this year, get it out of the way, and go somewhere else another time.

FunkyBoldRibena · 16/01/2014 22:42

Just say no.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 16/01/2014 22:46

Is anyone else dying of curiosity about the native language and the holiday destination? My guess is you are Spanish and they want to go to Mexico!

Sorry OP, not very helpful Grin

I hate haggling too. And translating, especially menus. You should be allowed to have a holiday where YOU want, too!

Original poster
Vixxxen · 16/01/2014 22:48

Even if there wasn't a language thing going on, this country wouldn't be my number 1 destination, so I honestly can't see why I should spend my hard earned money going somewhere I don't fancy whereas I can go somewhere I fancy...it is not about their company, I don't mind their company.
TBH if it wasn't for Dd their life would be pretty empty right now, and I know it s a precious time for them and all of us.

That is it.
I wrote to her suggesting two other countries.
If she sent me another link to the country she wants, I will reply just saying: No thanks.

OP posts:
SanityClause · 16/01/2014 22:56

I think you're right.

Just keep saying you don't want to go there. Because you don't.

Keep making other suggestions (we went to the south of France last year, and I looooved it!) because then no one can say you are just being obstructive.

Be firm. There is no reason for you to go somewhere you don't want to on your hard earned holiday!

zipzap · 16/01/2014 22:59

I'd tweak it to say that when you are there, you are planning on speaking English, as due to the big differences in accent, you find it easier to understand them speaking English rather than your language. Not sure quite how true it is but it sounds from what you have said that there is enough of a difference for it to be something you could reasonably say and not get shouted down.

Thus completely negating her reasons for having you there to speak the language...

PortofinoRevisited · 16/01/2014 23:03

Where do YOU want to go on holiday OP? Are the PIL paying?