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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to hire a gown and a silly hat to wear for my graduation this summer?

94 replies

vinisque · 16/01/2014 15:59

Just that really. I am in the final year of my fine art degree and have been discussing the snobby tradition of graduates wearing the cap and gown with my fellow students. We were talking about making our own graduation clothing when our tutor told us that we are not allowed to wear our own, we have to hire the university cap and gown. If this is true I will be so annoyed I don't think I will bother going to my own graduation ceremony. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
landrover · 16/01/2014 16:02

Have you parents? What do they think? Will they miss the suitably dressed pictures or are they not fussed? (although you could always borrow somebody's for a picture)

landrover · 16/01/2014 16:03

Mind you Graduation ceremonies are VERY boring!!!!!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/01/2014 16:03

YABVVVVVVVVVU!

It is a long and noble tradition that you are becoming part of it. Wearing cap and gown is part of that tradition.

If you dont want to take part in the ceremony but dont go, but you can't expect a long standing tradition to be changed bevause it is not to your taste

fecking arts students

Avalon · 16/01/2014 16:03

YANBU.

I didn't bother going to mine. Didn't want the fuss and expense.

It might mean more to you, though?

CSIJanner · 16/01/2014 16:05

Yes. YABU.

It's basically a uniform for graduation. If you don't wear it, you can't attend the ceremony. That's all it is - ceremony and tradition. If you don't like it, don't go. It's different if someone can't afford it as there is hardship funds for that, but universities are pretty strict on ceremonial dress.

SparklingMuppet · 16/01/2014 16:05

Yes YABU, the university will have specific matriculation colours that must be worn. If you don't want to wear them don't go. It's up to you. Though quite how you came to the conclusion that you would be able to wear your own stuff in the first place I don't know.

AngelaDaviesHair · 16/01/2014 16:05

You are a bit. It may be old-fashioned, even anachonistic, but it is fairly harmless. The ceremony has a dress code, and for once it is one that makes men and women equals, so why not? If it is the expense that bothers you, see if a faculty member could lend you a gown and mortar board (I did this).

MaebyF · 16/01/2014 16:05

It's annoying that you have to wear the standard gown, but it's only one day. Miss it if you want but I quite enjoyed mine. It's fine if you don't want to go, but to me it's a bit of silly reason not to go - just because you don't want to wear the cap and gown for a few hours.

Thants · 16/01/2014 16:09

Don't go to the ceremony. You still get the degree. The ceremony is bunch of elitist, pompous bullshit.

Dahlen · 16/01/2014 16:10

Slightly missing the point here, but with the benefit of hindsight I wouldn't have even attended my graduation, let alone be bothered by what I was wearing. The whole thing is incredibly boring and run like a conveyor belt. You will be bundled on stage in a line, given your certificate with a cursory handshake and shooed off again as quickly as possible.

Combine that with the cost of gown hire and photographers and it's an exercise in pointless commercialism and does nothing to celebrate the sense of achievement.

I didn't bother as a post grad.

wobblyweebles · 16/01/2014 16:12

The best thing about my graduation was getting a photo of almost everyone on my course together - it's so nice to look back and see people I spent four years with.

The price of that was wearing a graduation gown and paying for the photo. It was worth it.

CoffeeTea103 · 16/01/2014 16:12

Yabu, it's a tradition so you should respect it.

Lonecatwithkitten · 16/01/2014 16:13

It is all steeped in tradition the colours of the hood are particular to the awarding body and in some cases even the degree itself. As others have said if you don't want to do the tradition don't go.
However, for me crossing the altar (I graduated from what had been an ecclesiastical college) and completing the tradition was really important. We had to bow to the provost, kneel in front of the dean who placed our hood on us and then bow to the minister. We had previously paraded through the streets of the small village where the college was and many, many people turned out to see us. In the same ceremony that had occurred since the 1500s.

Neepandthedragon · 16/01/2014 16:16

I didn't go to mine, but then I was a fecking art student too Grin

To be fair, with a fine art degree, I felt the opening night of the show was enough for me. I don't regret it and have a nice pic of my skinny student self standing in front of my work instead.

MrsCosmopilite · 16/01/2014 16:16

When I graduated 18 months ago, even the class rebel hired the cap and gown. It was upholding tradition, and everyone's nearest and dearest got to see their friends/family looking 'official'.

I was fortunate that my ceremony was not boring. I was very fortunate to win an extra award and did spend a short while talking to the person presenting it.

There was no need to hire a photographer - and the cost of robe/cap hire was pretty small. My Uni set up a room for people to get ready in and there were folks on hand with safety pins, hair clips and other essentials.

I'm usually a right old slob and I like to look back at the photo of me with my classmates.

Idiot that I am, I'm now pursuing further studies and will graduate again next year.

GhostsInSnow · 16/01/2014 16:16

YANBU, I didn't go to mine either. Aside from the cost of hiring the bloody stuff then paying to attend I really didn't want the fuss.
Tradition or not the thought of standing up in front of hundreds of people to be given a bit of paper that was coming through the post anyway filled me with horror.

DH and I took the kids out for a meal instead and we had a lovely day.

Thetallesttower · 16/01/2014 16:17

Why is wearing a cap and gown more snobby than making your own clothes? Everyone looks the same, that's the point.

I don't see the issue here as you are not made to attend, and will still get the degree, so if you don't want to join in the snobby tradition, you don't have to. You can hold your own alternative ceremony with your friends and all go for dinner/celebrate how you like.

complexnumber · 16/01/2014 16:17

A bunch of fine art students make their own graduation clothing

I would love to see this, but maybe on YouTube.

You can still make your own clothing and have your own ceremony. But either adhere to the Uni's request to wear conventional gown etc, or do not go at all.

Do not try to upstage things for all the other graduates and their M&D's who will have been looking forward to this day for many years.

Suttonmum1 · 16/01/2014 16:19

Yanbu. I didn't go to mine, years ago because I thought it was pretentious waste of money.

Minnieisthedevilmouse · 16/01/2014 16:21

Have parents helped you through? Assisted monetarily or with useful gifts of food?

If so, bu. Ain't all about you is it? What about friends to share the day with too?

If you worked and paid all yourself then it's only you to worry about isn't it? Go, don't go. Entirely your call.

Finally you knew degrees ended this way right? It's not a surprise. Why get ansy now over essentially very little? Just seemed redundant angst to me. Are you transferring finals stress or something?

KatieScarlett2833 · 16/01/2014 16:21

Another graduation refusenik here Smile
CBA getting dressed up like a penguin.

DidoTheDodo · 16/01/2014 16:21

In the long ago days when I was an art student we weren't even honoured with a ceremony. I picked up my degree cert from Barnsley post office.

Go, don't go. Wear the cap and gown. Don't wear the cap and gown. It's all fine. It's also ok for those that want to join in to do so.

motherinferior · 16/01/2014 16:21

I didn't go to mine. Very idea made my blood run cold.

Procrastinating · 16/01/2014 16:23

YANBU, I only did it for my mum.
It is expensive (and unflattering if you have a long face).

Have your own ceremony, it will be more fun.

FrumiousBandersnatch · 16/01/2014 16:28

YABU. Graduate in absentia if it really bothers you.