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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you to tell me great things about having three kids?

184 replies

lalouche · 15/01/2014 19:15

Ok, sort of a thread about a thread, sorry, but reading all the comments about how 3 kids is a nightmare and loads of people wish they'd stopped at 2...anyone want to tell me why it was a great decision to have a third? I'm 34 weeks with dc3 and while pg was planned, I'm now a bit panicked about what we are letting ourselves in for. Too late to change our minds, clearly Grin, but please make me feel less anxious! I'm only being semi-facetious- I'm surprised by how worried I am, at a stage when I feel like I should be feeling super-positive and excited.

OP posts:
NaturalBaby · 17/01/2014 21:23

I'm so glad I didn't see the thread about 3 being a nightmare.

Dc3 is 3. I had 3 under 3's. 3 is the magic number.

Claryrocks · 17/01/2014 21:51

What a wonderful thread. I'm pregnant with my third and feel like all of you with 3 (or more!) i just didn't feel done at 2. There was a space and now I'm pregnant again I know this is it for me. I adore my two children and I love that I can create one more like them! I believe all our lives will be so much richer for having this little baby in it.

Thank you for all your lovely stories x

Pics · 17/01/2014 21:58

My girls are 6,3 and 4 mths. I am loving it despite having a few panicky moments about the idea when pregnant. The older two have each other when I'm busy with the baby and there is always a big girl around to chat to the baby when I am doing chores. Lots of giggling, lots of joy from the girls for each other.

Badmumof3 · 17/01/2014 22:24

Life is never dull with 3. They are either arguing or getting on amazingly but that's no different to 2's. The difference is they always have each other. Mine drive each other crazy but utterly adore each other too. Can't ever imagine not having my no.3, who has always felt like my bonus prize. Plus you get three lots f love and cuddles back. Just relax and enjoy it.

misslongstocking · 17/01/2014 23:49

I love having 3 children,
The odd number somehow brings a pleasant disorderly-ness to the home!
As a child I just had 1 sibling and the attention from our parents seemed too intense - with 3 the focus/pressure is lessened and the parent/child relationship more easy-going.
Although they do fall out sometimes,the children do enjoy eachothers' company - especially when we're away from the house,like on holiday or days out
There is always something interesting going on,life is never dull!
(Plus an excuse to keep watching Ben and Holly...)

davecheesely · 18/01/2014 00:44

Mine 3 are a little gang. There are always internecine wars and factions devleloping, but on the whole they get on really well. I can't help thinking that being a member of a gang of three sets them up better for the real world than being an only child or one of two.

davecheesely · 18/01/2014 00:53

Don't forget, the world seems to be designed for a family containing two adults and two children. Just think of things like holidays, cars and dare I say it houses. But as a dad of three I say three is the magic number; just go for it!

WhatTheWhat · 18/01/2014 08:17

On the car front, there are some super family cars out there with three full-size seats (including some with 3 x isofix for the little kid car seats) across the back seat (and on some you also get two 'hidden seats' in the boot - perfect for days out with cousins or grandparents), and we could not imagine having to squash holiday things into a saloon nowadays!
The roof box will be your saviour...

Original poster
lalouche · 18/01/2014 11:12

Dave, at 34 weeks pregnant with said dc3 it's a little late for us to not go for it now:) But thanks to this thread I'm feeling so much more cheerful and excited than a few days ago!

OP posts:
redandorangeleaves · 18/01/2014 13:37

Can someone link to the thread that says it is bad to have three. We are TTC no 3 and AF arrived today...I could actually do with being convinced it was a bad idea anyway!

PesoIsMyFavourite · 18/01/2014 17:14

Haven't seen the other thread but wanted to ask the same question as OP.....dc2 is nine months old, and I'm getting broody, and DH has said if we have another then he wants it sooner rather than later. This thread has made me already excited! Main reason is I don't feel like my family is complete, feel like we are missing a person?! Always envisaged having three children too.

Strokethefurrywall · 18/01/2014 19:39

I am middle of 3 (older sister, younger brother) and have always wanted 3 children (pregnant with no. 2 at the moment).

I loved being one of 3, although probably not at the time! Grin I had typical middle child syndrome, if there is such a thing - I was always the show off, drama queen, adventurer and all round energetic one.

I wasn't particularly keen on my baby brother when he arrived but of course as we all grew up he and my sister were my best friends and the different aspects of emotional support we gave each other was amazing.

Very sadly we lost my brother 18 months ago to an aggressive cancer at the age of 28. One of the main things that got my parents through the grief was knowing that my sister and I had each other for support - I live 4000 miles away from my family but my sister and I often speak to each other about how our parents are doing, and about how we're coping. My sister and I could solidify ourselves as a support for our parents and my sister-in-law. But yes, there is a great big giant hole where he should be.

I would love 3 children because I know how great the dynamic can be, especially once you get past the years of fighting, squabbling and ganging up on each other. For me, siblings are a blessing and I would absolutely love to replicate that feeling for my children.

Best of luck with #3 - I'm sure they will be an absolutely joy!

TiggyOBE · 18/01/2014 20:12

You have a main one, a spare, and one to use as parts for the first two.

mamaoftwobeautifulboys · 18/01/2014 20:51

Expecting number 3 in 7 weeks - loved reading all this, thank you x

JugglingFromHereToThere · 18/01/2014 21:42

Shock @ Tiggy, but Grin as well !

JugglingFromHereToThere · 18/01/2014 21:46

So sorry for your loss Stroke - a lovely post though about your family x

BuntCadger · 18/01/2014 22:52

We are a family with 3 (2 boys and 1girl). Absolutely love it and they all get on, however we felt we were missing one so number 4 is expected any day (well was due Monday just gone). So even more fun soon x

askeptical1 · 19/01/2014 02:10

Three is the best number. One = lonely child. Two = lots of arguments and no sharing. Three = compromise, always someone to play with, more time to spend with one or the other if need be (sounds illogical but it will soon become clear) and as JKSltd said, it makes two seem like a breeze :)
Enjoy

melrose · 19/01/2014 08:28

It is chaos at times and the house is never tidy, but we love having dc3 and the older boys adore their little sister. I enjoyed the baby stage so much more as I didn't worry and just got on with as I knew what I was doing (she was only ever weighed 5 times - I knew she was growing and didn't need the HV interference reassurance.)

She did have to just fit in as well, the boys were at school so she had to be fed and dressed and out the door at 8.30 and fed and in the buggy at 3. Growing up to be an independent thing, aged 2.5, adoring her big brothers (now 6and 9).

3rd time mat leave was wonderful, with such precious time with all 3, and time with friends without pressure of making new ones!

Good luck and enjoy!

JanePurdy · 19/01/2014 08:46

I'm trying for a third starting from tomorrow Smile

I like what a PP said about the balance being in favour I youth & chaos (I paraphrase). I am one of 3 & loved being one of a gang. As an adult I wouldn't be without my brothers.

I was chatting to my parents about having a third & they said from their perspective as parents of grown ups the more you have the better as they move off into their own lives!

So sorry for your loss Stroke

dementedma · 19/01/2014 08:57

Have two dds in their 20s and a ds now 11 so a big gap for us. Older ones can babysit - in theory - although we are aware that it is not their responsibility to care for ds. Once,after asking for them to get him from school and sort out tea for him when he was younger we were pointedly told " he's your son, not ours!"
He is the only one at home now and lonely without the dds

JugglingFromHereToThere · 19/01/2014 09:13

Thanks to this thread I dreamt about being pregnant with a surprise third last night Grin Thankfully, I think, it's not likely - back to two in the cool light of day Smile - juggling with two is enough of a handful for me!

wakemeupnow · 19/01/2014 09:23

So happy to have 3. 3rd was a bit unplanned coming just when the other two were at school and I had resumed my career.

I think the 3rd child has the best position in the family. Everything is already up and running when they come along. They have loads of entertainment and distractions when they are babies. They get used to not having all the attention and muddling in. The parents too are more relaxed and experienced.

I don't think it costs any more until they become teens/young adults, then you notice how expensive they are !

Dancergirl · 19/01/2014 09:27

I love having 3.

3 dds aged 12, 10 and 6.

The only downside for us I perhaps I should have had a 4th as a playmate for dd3. Older 2 dds are close in age (21 month gap) and are really close. They love doing stuff together and are into the same sort of things. Dd3 is a little bit on her own sadly. I do encourage the older 2 to include dd3 a bit more and they do sometimes but tbh dd3 is quite naughty and I can understand the older 2 wanting to do stuff together without dd3 screeching or hitting them Hmm I know dd3 kicks off out of frustration of feeling left out so we are stuck in this vicious circle.

But having said that, dd3 is a joy and delight and I love having her. She's so much fun, really loving and affectionate.

I know the dynamics will change in time. Also, it's fascinating to see 3 such different personalities, each one is unique and I love them for being them. I tell them this all the time.

MoonHare · 19/01/2014 14:45

I just had to join in and say that 3 is wonderful.

The laughter, fun and chaos feel so life-affirming. Our home feels warm and full.

I have 3 DDs 5, 2 and 1. I haven't found it hard yet, although yeah it has it's moments, like when all 3 cry at once - sometimes I feel like joining in but really the hardest bit is loading and unloading them all from the car!

My heart would love to go for number 4 but my head (and age) says no.