to ask you to tell me great things about having three kids?

[lalouche]

Ok, sort of a thread about a thread, sorry, but reading all the comments about how 3 kids is a nightmare and loads of people wish they'd stopped at 2...anyone want to tell me why it was a great decision to have a third? I'm 34 weeks with dc3 and while pg was planned, I'm now a bit panicked about what we are letting ourselves in for. Too late to change our minds, clearly , but please make me feel less anxious! I'm only being semi-facetious- I'm surprised by how worried I am, at a stage when I feel like I should be feeling super-positive and excited.

When they're little, the eldest one will love the little one to distraction - it'd lovely to see.

When they're toddlers, they all play together and have great fun

When they're school age, they all go to watch each other in school plays, concerts etc and say loudly 'that's my brother/sister!'

When they're teenagers, the big ones can help the little ones with maths that you can't remember how to do.

There's lots of contact with their siblings friends. - girls get used to boys being around and vice versa. Then when they have a girlfriend of their own, they understand them a bit better

On holidays and family days the dynamic is constantly shifting - different permutations of who wants to do what and who enjoys what. Two is just too symmetrical for me. And there's generally at least one of them who wants to do what I want to do!

Then when they grow up and go abroad for their gap year And they come back, it takes a whole week to share everyone's stories for the last year.

And they visit each other in either a two or a three and have their own relationships ( with their siblings) - richer for them as well as for we parents

Not yet at the stage of grandchildren but for my children, if they have the same kind of opportunities for getting together as I had with my brothers and their kids, family holidays with lots of cousins are brilliant

can anyone say if all these wonderful things apply if you have one, and twins? I wonder if the lack of three at different ages means that its always a case of twins vs singleton. Do the twins make their own gang and the singleton is left out? Does the singleton get all the benefits of having siblings, even if his/her siblings make their own separate entity almost? I only have DS but am planning DC2 and it'll be IVF, as DS was, so twins are a possibility I suppose...

I have 3 (5, just 3 and 6mo) and I won't lie, I'm finding it pretty tough going at the moment - potty training and weaning at the same time?! Madness! But 3 was our number and while I'm trying to enjoy the moments now (as someone said upthread, the older boys LOVE their little sister to pieces and it's a joy to see), I'm taking the long view - I want the big family Christmas and doting on (hopefully) many grandchildren. Two just didn't seem enough - and 4 would be too many. We want a big family life and 3 seems right to us!

Glad I saw this thread, was almost going to start it myself as was feeling quite worried after reading the other thread.
I too am pg with dc3, very much wanted, but I also feel very nervous about the impact on all of our lives. My other 2 are 3and nearly 5.
The only perspective I can give at the moment comes from being the youngest of 4 children, which I have always loved, still do.
I do love noise and chaos and I have lots of nieces and nephews and feel very fortunate to have such a lovely large family and I suppose I want that to continue and I want that for my dcs.

BeckAndCall

family holidays with lots of cousins are brilliant

Totally agree with this. Currently ttc dc3 so I'm not really qualified to post here.

Both of my parents came from large families so I had lots of aunts and uncles and I can't even count how many cousins I've got.

Growing up, our holidays were usually just a week at Butlins. But with typically four families and ten children in total I remember it as being an absolutely great time.

So, although it may be a long time in the future, any grandchildren that you end up with will also benefit from being part of a larger extended family as well.

It's so good, I had another...

There are happy families of all shapes and sizes. I always knew that 3 was the magic number for me, there really is never a dull moment. Mine are now 13, 10 and 8 but I do remember some nightmarish moments when they were tiny. I am not an octopus!
When they are school age, you need to think carefully what kind of life you want, if they all do 3 after school activities and learn two musical instruments then you are in trouble...

This thread has scared me. Chaos? Noise? Unstoppable chores? How does anyone find time to work?!

Oh lordy.

I have three girls and I love it. Luckily we all have small appetites. I know people who have three who spend £250 a week on food! The washing is never done though, or so it seems....

I'm one of 3 and we always felt like a big family! We argued and fought, I have some impressive scars... But ultimately we had a great time and as we were in consecutive years at school we played with each other's friends and shared interests. We still get on.. Mostly!
I have 5 now but for 6 years I had 3. Can't say it ever felt right for me, I always felt like I had one missing but you are much more relaxed as a parent. I'm pretty much horizontal now since having a 4th followed very quickly by a surprise 5th!

Oh yea, our weekly shopping budget is around £150 - £200. But 2 of my children are teens. We shop carefully online so we can find the cheapest products.

flipflop I have it the other way round - twins (b/g), and then Number 3 (g). Twins unbelievably close, everyone thought we were mad having a 3rd, family dynamic was sorted etc etc. Also had a 4yr age gap between twins and Number 3.

I think it definitely depends on the personalities of the children. We found that DS got on much better with DD2 when she first arrived, and to a certain extent, DD1 was pushed out. Not in any really noticeable way but DS and DD2 are so alike in personality - DD2 (real tomboy) would just giggle the minute DS looked at her. Also, when DD2 started to get mobile (say at 12 months), DD1 (quite quiet, studious etc) was just 5 and starting to be a little bit precious with her things - the last thing she wanted was a boisterous toddler spoiling her drawings or ruining her felt tips!!

But I think it was a phase - the girls are 8 and 4 now and much closer - all of them play together, and because the twins still have so much in common (same class etc), they're still very close.

So in answer to your question - all 3 are very close and I don't think having twins and then a singleton (or a singleton and then twins) means that one gets left out.

It's hard work, it's expensive, it's surprisingly unconventional (ie almost all competitions for a family holiday are for two adults and two children), but the rose tinted spectacles say it's wonderful and fun.

In my book group of 11, seven of us have three children, one has four, and we're all very sane.

3 is lovely :)

We have had phases when it has been like the writers of Outnumbered spied on us though!

I have 3 girls - 15,12 and 6. Very hormonal in our house at the moment but am so glad we have DD6 to lighten the mood! If not the washing load....

We've just got the one but I'm the oldest of three.

Best bits: always someone to play with, but also the other 2 could play with each other and leave me in peace!

Worst bits: car journeys when we were "all squashed in the back". This was long before the days of booster seats etc and there were huge battles over who had to sit in the middle.

Just watching them interact with each other.

We have three (1 girl, 2 boys) who are all 2 years 3 months apart in age. Yes, it gets noisy. No, you are never alone. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. They play together, are each others best friends...well, all of what has been said above really! Once you get the logistics down, it really is not so much more challenging than having two.

Congratulations!

I have three - but 9, 7 and 1...I am in AWE of those of you with say, baby, 3 and 5 year olds! I had to wait until the dust cleared before I was ready for another - and although the 18 month old let us have 2 hours sleep last night, and is the worst sleeper of them all, the pregnancy has knackered my back, and I look tired and old, it is sooooo worth it! DS adores her, and will read her stories, get her shoes and coat on in the morning, and get her out of her cot. DD1 is finding it harder, as DD2 gravitates to her toys, and her position of 'baby' as been filled, but even she says how pleased she is to have a little sister.
I think it will hit us when DD2 is older, and suddenly the usual holiday cottge of one double and one twin room is not going to work anymore. I know, I know, I am going to have to embrace camping. (I was a city break girl before 3 kids...)

Mine are 7, 4 and 3 I do love having 3!

Not very specific, but it just all feels more fun with 3! Board games, trips out, all just more enjoyable than with just 2dc.

More work too I guess but then you can get the older ones to help with the younger ones.

I definitely don't regret 3, but although I'd love more I won't because I do already worry about splitting my attention 3 ways.

I have three daughters, twins then a nearly 5 year gap and a surprise little sister. Three has been utterly wonderful. Just as I loved watching DH unfolding into a dad when we first had kids, I loved watching my twins becoming marvellous big sisters when the little one was born. I really think having a little sister has enriched their lives, they take amazing care of her, play with her, share with her, and (mostly) yield to her. I never had to 'entertain the baby' because she was entranced by her big sisters. As a mum it was also special, I just treasured the time with her as I knew she'd be our last (age).

When I was first pregnant I remember DH saying it would be terrible for the twins because they'd lose attention, but even that's worked out for the best. I also remember knowing that I was in early labour but being determined to put the big two to bed myself before going to the hospital. As I sang our usual lullabies I cried quietly because I thought that maybe it would never be the same between the twins and I. But after the first few weeks when the baby took so much time,everything settled back as normal.

Highly highly recommended. Although I'm also one of those who'd continue if I was younger, had a different DH, had more money etc etc.

I loved having 3, give me 3 over 4 any day. I love them all and wouldn't be without them, but often wonder what life would have been like if we'd stopped at 3.

I have 2 (DS 2 and DD 7) and had a miscarriage at christmas. The pregnancy was unplanned and I was a bit worried about money, how I would cope etc, but now it feels like someone is missing :-( even more so after reading this thread.

OH is very keen on a 3rd too so fingers crossed..

What a nice thread, and the comments pretty much match my experience (older girl and younger twin boys). Sometimes it's great, sometimes all three are howling: at the universe in general or each other in particular.
Having had three under 2 at one point, I would think that three evenly-spaced is a better plan than three within 18 months, however, you gets what you're given and you manage accordingly.
We love having three: there's always one who wants some me-time and that still leaves two to play together. You sometimes have to watch out for ganging up, but ours are learning that this is not nice, which will help them behave well at school (I hope). When all three are playing the same game, it's like a mini-playschool and they have a whale of a time!
Our older girl (older by 18m, which makes quite a difference since they're all under 4) helps the younger ones and has great levels of confidence and authority for her age. The twins love each other dearly, missing each other when they're split up (and also fighting like cats at times), but they will also bring our older girl her special toys and spontaneously cuddle her. There's less jealousy from the twins about their sister than between themselves, which helps to temper their emotional responses sometimes (when it's not just his twin who's getting his own way, but also his sister - seems to make it more acceptable...).
It's ace having three, but: it is darned pricey, especially when you have twins as hand-me-downs are impossible and school fees (should you be thinking of going there) are insane for three! Holidays and memberships are frequently packaged as two adults and two children as well.
Enjoy your third, second and first and enjoy being a thrice-loved Mum!

From a very selfish point of view no-one offers you advice as the mother of three. Well except my Mum but she had 4 so is suitably reasonable with her advice.