to not give in and feed her anything else tonight?

[thisonesfree]

My extremely intelligent two year old has decided to not even try her dinner tonight. I have a rule that unless they try it they can't say they don't like it. Normally I win. However tonight she has dug her heals in. Would I be unreasonable to just give her her milk and send her off to bed as usual?! I should point out I know she had a huge lunch at nursery today (three portions), a snack at 2.30 and a cracker and butter when she got home at 3.30 so maybe she's just full?!

Help!

We have the same rule, op.

A battle for control over food is not good. Very unhealthy.

Fruit for dinner if you have had a massive lunch is a valid and healthy choice.

Battles over food are not healthy.

I totally agree with Join, here.
Think you could be a control freak.

Yabu she is very little an older child yes but it's mean to send a toddler to bed hungry.

You do realise how small a two year olds stomach is, it's tiny, I've never understood this obsession with toddlers and food, they don't always want a dinner, a sandwich and a piece of fruit can be just enough for them sometimes, if they are snacking healthily during the day then I would never force a dinner on them, I'm 45 and I sometimes don't want dinner and will have a bowl of soup and a sandwich, my kids are 12 and 22, the 22 year old loves his grub and will eat anything (except mushrooms), the 12 year old likes what he likes but sometimes he will only want a light snack for dinner, he can go a few days without even eating something hot, don't sweat it op, but please don't use food as a punishment, she is 2 and no matter what you think she might not grasp the consequences the way you think she does, and I bet in a couple of days she will eat her dinner and you will be wondering why you made such a fuss today

Actually I agree with those saying the trying rule can be counterproductive. There's a well known trick/experiment where you tell someone they will get a big prize, money or whatever, if they eat a spoonful of dog food. What is presented as "dog food" is actually mars bars, mashed up inside a cleaned out dog food tin. But because the person is expecting the food to taste utterly vile they usually retch and claim that it tastes disgusting. It goes to show that our expectations are sometimes more powerful than the real life sensory evidence we are provided with.

It's made me think actually because I used to be very of this mind but my 5 year old is terrible for refusing to taste things that in actual fact he would probably love, and as his diet is fairly limited it's extremely frustrating that he's not interested in expanding it.

She is 2

Why are you getting into a power struggle with a 2 year old?

Maybe she was tired? Maybe you hovering over her trying to make her eat was the reason she didn't.

My 2 year old doesn't always want her dinner, but I'll give her a snack a bit later if she asks.

She's my second. I adopted a similar stance with my first and we have no food issues. He's 4.

I think the OP needs to be given some slack here. I've read so many posts where similar stories have generated advice of 'don't give alternatives', 'it's dinner or nothing' but they may have been with older children. I'm at the stage with my DS (2.8 months) who has very little interest in any food of saying 'no night time programme and no milk' if he won't at least try dinner but he is older than the OPs DD.

She's 2 years old. 2.4 years ago she wasn't even born and you're thinking of witholding food because she was a bit fussy???

Honestly. Make it bland, sure. A piece of boring plain bread is fine. But no food?? Why would you do that?

In our house if they've not eaten enough at dinner time for whatever reason, they can have a piece of bread. If they don't want the bread, then they're not that hungry.

Really, I think people have massive expectations of their children sometimes.

we just let ds have plain things if he is still hungry - last night he had tomato and cucumber before bed, sometimes plain porridge or toast but we try and not stress about whether he eats - he is always encouraged but if he doesn't eat it we don't push it or do ultimatums and if he is hungry later he can have a plain snack whether he had dinner or not.

whatever you have given as a consequence it is worth following through imo and offering her milk will put something in her tummy at least so she'll be fine.

VicarinaTutu is very wise.

Another rule I try to apply is how would I feel if I went to dinner at someone's house and they treated me like this? 'You must have a spoonul of soup before we serve the main course. It is really yummy. You won't know you don't like cauliflower soup if you don't have a spoonful. You want to be healthy and strong don't you?'

I'd think they were pretty damn freaking odd and I wouldn't return the invitation.

On the other hand if I didn't eat the cauliflower soup at someone's house and they didn't serve me extra mains and pudding to fill me up as a result I wouldn't feel hard done by. I'd think fair enough.

I think the OP needs to be given some slack here. I've read so many posts where similar stories have generated advice of 'don't give alternatives', 'it's dinner or nothing' but they may have been with older children

Yes this might work with older children who can at least be reasoned with and understand long term consequences. My 2 year old doesn't really get it. Plus if she's not hungry then why would you bother trying to make them eat? They might be hungry later.

There should never be a battle or a bargain about food.

As a parent you decide what food should be available to your child and allow them to choose from it what to eat.

If she was full from a very large lunch and a fairly recent snack a piece of fruit was probably a very appropriate meal. Her body was telling her that and you decided to tell her not to listen to it. Not a great move.

What do you think you will achieve by insisting that she tries one mouthful? Toddlers are instinctively resistant to 'trying' food. It's a natural mechanism to keep very young children safe from poisonous foods. Forcing her to try something now won't make a jot of difference to what she eats in years to come, unless you make such a hash of it that she ends up with major anxiety issued around food.

I completely get the idea that a child cannot live on fruit alone and that their diet overall needs to be balanced. However, each individual meal does not need to be balanced. If you took her food intake for that whole day, including just fruit for tea, you'd probably find it was exactly the balance you wanted.

You need to take a step back from her eating. Put the food out at meal times, allow her to eat what she would like, take it away and put a sensible amount of fruit out. If she wants more fruit than you think is reasonable suggest that she has her main course back instead as it will still be palatable after such a short time. If she doesn't want it that's fine. She can leave eating until the next meal.

Don't deliberately deny children one sort of food as a punishment for not eating another. That makes no sense and turns the whole thing into a battle for supremacy which the child will inevitably win. Just don't allow them to change the balance of their diet as a whole by filling up on the thing they like best.

YANBU to allow your child to be a bit hungrier by the next meal. That helps them to enjoy that meal more. You did the right thing by allowing her to have her milk. Hunger should never be a punishment.