To claim Mumsnet stalking is unreasonable?

[CrossFace]

I have been a regular poster on Mumsnet for about two years. I've pretty much always had the same name and had become pretty fond of it. It isn't the one I'm using now, but you may have recognised me otherwise.

Anyway, my BF has taken it upon himself to go detective on my Mumsnet identify. He has been picking up on clues I mentioned and then Googling the shit out of them until he found me.

I discovered this when he started telling me about all the threads I've posted on for months, in a chummy now we can laugh about Mumsnet

Another vote for downright creepy.
Eeeeeew.

Helen seriously? I think that's what mine is planning too. Stalky Fuckers.

crossface, I'm sorry but I don't like the sound of this. Sure the forum is public but people post anonymously.

Am quite a forgiving person but would feel that what he did is a breach of trust. I think it's a bit like reading your diary.

By trying to track you down, he has put a lot of effort into unveiling your personal thoughts.

Regarding your username, just 'shed your skin' and move on.

Never said this before but I would consider to ltb.

YANBU OP. I agree it sounds stalkerish and creepy.

to all who've had to namechange.

That is really dreadful, Helen! What a prick!

Fortunately, most of the time I have posted in chat, so a lot of them are gone. And I am usually posting something silly, so have even read out what I've written on occasion.

He is very sweet to me otherwise!

it was nasty but then the whole thing was, I was surprised at the time how low he could go! still pissed that I wasnt allowed to use the naked pictures he had posted of himself on fuck buddy sites

So he's well creepy but can be sweet. A bit of a mixed blessing there.

You will have to nc again as he will find this.
Add a horrible message to him and we'll all post lots of LTB
not very helpful, sorry

It's not on. He was in the wrong

It's probably a good idea to change name from time to time, but it is a shame, as I rather like to see posts from people who are anonymous (I don't know who they are) and yet I feel I know a bit about them (I recall that's the one who......)

That's exactly it, justmyview. I'm more upset by losing my name than the nosiness. I think we've all poked our face into something we shouldn't have out of curiosity in the past.

I've already got a new name. But I'm not happy with it and will be spending the next couple of weeks waiting for another to click. My old one was perfect.

I suppose it's another mn rite to go through, like being torn apart on aibu. I've got a full yanbu though, which has never happened before - so every cloud!

Ugh my P did this, then quoted back to me threads i had started about him ( hes a recovering alcoholic ) saying how terrible i was. I asked if i had lied about anything, which he said no, then i asked if he'd read the replies from all the people who had said LTB.

I wouldn't like it. I know it's public, but as others have said most RL conversations are public, too.

Once a colleague found out my username on another forum. She was so gleeful; spent DAYS searching all my threads and reading them out to the office. There was nothing controversial (or even that interesting) in what I had posted, but it made me uncomfortable.

I know my husband is on other forums, I know the names of them too, but I too would consider it stalking and a sign of mistrust if I went looking for him

What sykadelic said.

My husband is on a couple of forums and he sure knows I'm on here because we sometimes discuss interesting threads. Well I talk about them and he looks like he's vaguely listening.

If either of us had decided to play amateur detective I would think that 1) they were suddenly suffering from a very unattractive bout of massive insecurity and 2) putting the trust in our relationship at risk.

Thankfully neither of us would do that, although 30 years of marriage makes this sort of behaviour unlikely because there's probably not much we don't know about each others thought processes. How long have you known this man?