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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

using a fan at the theater, was I being unreasonable?

120 replies

carlajean · 13/01/2014 22:53

We were at the theater tonight and a woman two rows in front had a fan that she was using most of the way through the second half. It was a tense drama, but having a white fan constantly flicking backwards and forwards really put me off. Was I unreasonable to approach her afterwards and tell her (calmly) how annoying it was? She looked at me as though I was mad, and now I feel an idiot AND irritated.

OP posts:

maillotjaune · 13/01/2014 22:57

It wasn't electric, no? Perhaps she was hot? I can see it might have been a bit annoying but that's the risk you take when you go places there are people.

BackforGood · 13/01/2014 23:02

As long as it wasn't one the size of those used by the Tiller Girls, I think it's OK.
Some theatres get very hot. I've used a fan before now. I can't see how it could be that distracting.

Original poster

carlajean · 13/01/2014 23:04

No, it wasn't hot (to me)

OP posts:

Original poster

carlajean · 13/01/2014 23:04

No, it wasn't hot (to me)

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 13/01/2014 23:05

YWBU to approach her afterwards - yes.

I'm not sure what good it will have done?

I doubt she's going to stop using the fan when she's hot and tbh, I don't see why she should.

GlitzAndGiggles · 13/01/2014 23:08

What reaction were you expecting?

BackforGood · 13/01/2014 23:09

Yes, but she might have been hot. We all have different levels at which we are comfortable, and then some of us can have several hot flushes during one evening.

PumpkinPositive · 13/01/2014 23:12

Bit pointless to approach her afterwards to tell her - that ship has sailed. I'd probably tell you where to stick it in her shoes, but would be more amenable if approached at the time or during the interval.

Beamur · 13/01/2014 23:14

She might also be unwell or menopausal - hot flushes aren't much fun.

sonlypuppyfat · 13/01/2014 23:15

It must have been off putting for you but I suffer with being hot I feel like I'm going to explode its awful.

AnyFucker · 13/01/2014 23:17

I think that was unreasonable, actually

I presume the flashing back/forwards was in your eye line and was distracting ?

I also wear contact lenses and suffer from dry eyes towards the evening, so if there was a constant draft it would be uncomfortable for me

I woudl have very politely asked her to stop during the performance though, if it bothered me that much

Original poster

carlajean · 13/01/2014 23:17

Oh well, I stand corrected. BTW I couldn't have said anything at the time as she was two rows in front and only did it in the second half.

OP posts:

Peekingduck · 13/01/2014 23:20

I had horrible flushes during the change and wouldn't have thought it was reasonable to use a fan in the theatre, cinema or any public performance other than an outdoor concert. She was an inconsiderate PITA. OK, saying something was too late for you, but maybe it saved some other poor sods putting up with her and her fan in future.

AnyFucker · 13/01/2014 23:21

Actually, not very clear there

I think the woman was U for using the fan

RussianBlu · 13/01/2014 23:26

I think you were within your rights. You could hardly get up and crawl over people to ask her to stop. I'm sure the people near her were annoyed but weren't brave enough to say anything. Hopefully she will think more in future.

iheartdusty · 13/01/2014 23:26

I think YANBU.

Much of the point of theatre is the spectacle, no? So having someone flicking a white thing about in your line of vision would be very tiresome.

she should have thought how it would seem to anyone sitting behind her.

coco44 · 13/01/2014 23:27

How old was she? Hot flushes?

MrsBungle · 13/01/2014 23:30

She must have been wafting it with some gusto for it to affect you two rows back!

AwfulMaureen · 13/01/2014 23:39

YANBU. How annoying. BUT...my Mum consistently faints in theatres...so I see why she needed it....but...like my Mum maybe she should avoid the theatre?

BillyBanter · 13/01/2014 23:54

I would imagine it could easily be just as annoying as someone looking at their phone, which got a very different response a couple of weeks ago.

sykadelic15 · 13/01/2014 23:56

You were NOT BU to tell her it was annoying. It would have bugged me too... seeing something constantly moving in my line of sight.

IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKaleesi · 13/01/2014 23:59

YANBU

She was being unreasonable to have been using it

Picturesinthefirelight · 13/01/2014 23:59

2 rows in front & it annoyed you!!

I've been in a hot theatre where everyone was fanning themselves with their programmes.

Yabu.

Spermysextowel · 14/01/2014 00:07

Precisely what Billy said. This would really have ruined my evening.

Caitlin17 · 14/01/2014 00:10

I usually have a fan with me for events in the Edinburgh Festival and Edinburgh Fringe as surprisingly it can get very warm up here in August, venues are packed and often venues are not air conditioned.

Whether I use it depends more on what others are doing. If there are other people fanning themselves with flyers ( which one collects by the bucket load at that time of year) then I will use it. I wouldn't if no one else was. The etiquette of fan usage seems to find its own level. Outwith the festivals I would take a fan if it had been a hot day but would only use it at the interval.

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