Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ok so im probably being a bit precious.

36 replies

LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 13/01/2014 10:32

Took 6 year old DD to her eye appointment (long sighted in one eye), and children her age have to match letters to show they can see with the glasses on, easy for most kids.

My DD has selective mutism, possibly autism, this means if she feels under pressure, she shuts down and she doesnt connect well with some adults, mainly women, so it was hard getting her to do the task. Being her mum i know gentle encouragement will get her to do it.

The woman testing her, was really in her face, called her a "silly girl", said "only 2 years play silly games", then tried to guilt trip DD, by saying, "think about all the poor boys and girls your keeping waiting" or "I'll keep you here all morning if i have too", it all made my DD feel worse to point i thought DD was gonna cry.

At the end she got up in a huff and said "Oh my goodness, yes it was an x"

AIBU to think if your job means your around children alot, you should accept to being deal with children will certain issues and have some patience. I do know NHS are under pressure, but patience wouldnt go a miss.

Im probably being precious, but it did annoy me to have DD spoken to like that.

OP posts:
poopooheadwillyfatface · 13/01/2014 10:34

please complainShock
she sounds horrible

CrapBag · 13/01/2014 10:34

I don't think you are being precious.

I would NOT appreciate my child being spoken to like that. Children without any problems can clam up and go shy when speaking to an adult they don't know.

I would actually complain about her.

secretsofsanta · 13/01/2014 10:35

Not precious at all. Please complain. Poor dd.

TinyTwoTears · 13/01/2014 10:37

That's not good at all. Definitely complain. I've only ever encountered one health professional like that and we never went back to him.
Next eye appointment I would make sure your DD was seen by someone else.
I hope your DD is ok.

Original poster
LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 13/01/2014 10:38

Thanks for not thinking i was precious, DD has shrugged it off already and back at school, i however am rather annoyed over it.

OP posts:
bleedingheart · 13/01/2014 10:38

Not precious.

Surely she has encountered quiet children or children with autism before, bullying doesn't tend to work!

DawnOfTheDee · 13/01/2014 10:38

Yes definitely complain.

My DNeice had selective mutism along with other learning difficulties that meant she didn't reliably know her letters to match them. I can't remember what technique SIL said the optician used but she did say she was fab and they have alternative methods of testing.

MrsGoslingWannabe · 13/01/2014 10:39

You must complain. An A&E nurse was quite rude & huffy with my DD once "I can't help you if you're not going to speak". DD was nearly 6 at the time and she just closed up. Really wish I'd complained. Do it.

Andanotherthing123 · 13/01/2014 10:41

That's dreadful, how awful for you both. Stupid woman. Please complain, she shouldn't be allowed to get away with that sort of behaviour. So sorry you had to go through what should have been a painless experience.

Original poster
LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 13/01/2014 10:44

I think im going to complain, i really dont like my daughter being treated like an idiot and guilt tripped.

OP posts:
MarianForrester · 13/01/2014 10:46

Not precious at all, she sounds horrible. Neither of my dcs would respond well to that sort of thing, who would?

In fact, we were treated in a similar grumpy fashion by an optician when my dd was being tested once. She threatened dd that she needed to wear glasses or eyes wouldn't "get better"; all rubbish! We never went back.

I think you should complain. It is just rude and horrible behaviour, and also has potential long term consequences, be it wrong prescription, or scared to go back.

Original poster
LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot · 13/01/2014 10:49

I might have to go to another hospital or clinic for her eye tests in future, but if i can avoid that woman, i'll bloody do it, i will later write a letter to the hospital, kinda glad i didnt get the job at the hospital now, i might have to have dealt with her.

OP posts:
OnceUponAThyme · 13/01/2014 10:49

I would complain, especially since she clearly works with children evetu day.
the hospital my dd goes to for her eyes has a card with letters on it. so say the optician points to "x". the child can point then out the letter on their own sheet. it works pretty well and helps if they're having difficulty.

MarianForrester · 13/01/2014 10:51

Onceuponathyme, that card idea is great! Dd has always struggle with the actual letters and that is a really simple thing which could help loads. I am going to suggest it next time we see someone.

MammaTJ · 13/01/2014 10:53

My DS had needed regular eye tests from very little and we have only ever encountered patience and kindness!

Do complain, this is not good enough!

Snowfedup · 13/01/2014 11:00

Oh dear I do this job and I have worked with people like this - usually older generation but not always !

This is shocking not acceptable at all. I love working with children and pride myself on being able to test all types, from interacting with the very shy, calming down the very excitable, I work with all types of special needs. I love it when parents comment on leaving how much they have enjoyed coming to my clinic, and it makes my heart sing when children don't want to leave or I hear a whispered wasn't she nice mummy.

We all have bad days but maybe asking to discuss with her manager the issues maybe some more training needed ?

Bet her manager knows already (when I worked with someone like this there were always parents asking not to see her again)

RobinSparkles · 13/01/2014 11:02

No, not precious. You would think that she would have more patience considering that she must work with children all the time. She sounds rude and unprofessional!

In fact, I'm wondering if you have the same lady that we used to see. She was always very snappy with DD1, who hadn't done anything wrong but she has the tendency to chat about nonsense, which I suppose can be annoying but if you're around children all the time and choosing to work with children it's something you need to get used to and learn to cope with.

I was talking to a neighbour whose DS happened to see the same lady. He was having an eye test when he was two and he wasn't in a very cooperative mood (as two year olds often aren't). The lady told my neighbour that she "needed to learn to control him!" Shock

Snowfedup · 13/01/2014 11:03

Oh dear I do this job and I have worked with people like this - usually older generation but not always !

This is shocking not acceptable at all. I love working with children and pride myself on being able to test all types, from interacting with the very shy, calming down the very excitable, I work with all types of special needs. I love it when parents comment on leaving how much they have enjoyed coming to my clinic, and it makes my heart sing when children don't want to leave or I hear a whispered wasn't she nice mummy.

We all have bad days but maybe asking to discuss with her manager the issues maybe some more training needed ?

Bet her manager knows already (when I worked with someone like this there were always parents asking not to see her again)

MrsOakenshield · 13/01/2014 11:07

hold on, so this was at a medical place, not a commercial opticians? Absolutely complain then, that's disgraceful for anyone (but especially someone working in a medical environment) to behave like that.

ChoudeBruxelles · 13/01/2014 11:09

Why didn't you say something to her at the time?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 13/01/2014 11:11

She was crap and I would complain. You might be able to avoid her, I don't think we have seen the same person twice at DS2's hospital opthamology appointments.

OpalQuartz · 13/01/2014 11:12

Awful. I remember children being spoken to like that a lot in the 70s, but I thought we had moved on since then!

lougle · 13/01/2014 11:13

That's awful.

My DD2 went to our family dentist and had a panic, so moved to the far corner of the room and wouldn't come nearer. I now know that she possibly has some SN (assessments pending) but then I just thought she was sensitive.

The dentist ridiculed her, saying 'oh well if she wants to be a baby...'

She was only 4 Sad

Ifcatshadthumbs · 13/01/2014 11:15

Please complain, that was a disgraceful way for her to behave. DS was non verbal when he had his sight tested at the hospital but it wasn't an issue.

Nanny0gg · 13/01/2014 11:15

I wouldn't accept that attitude towards any child.

Complain.

Would it be possible to take her to a private Optician rather than hospital one?

Swipe left for the next trending thread