ok so im probably being a bit precious.

[LuciusMalfoyisSmokingHot]

Took 6 year old DD to her eye appointment (long sighted in one eye), and children her age have to match letters to show they can see with the glasses on, easy for most kids.

My DD has selective mutism, possibly autism, this means if she feels under pressure, she shuts down and she doesnt connect well with some adults, mainly women, so it was hard getting her to do the task. Being her mum i know gentle encouragement will get her to do it.

The woman testing her, was really in her face, called her a "silly girl", said "only 2 years play silly games", then tried to guilt trip DD, by saying, "think about all the poor boys and girls your keeping waiting" or "I'll keep you here all morning if i have too", it all made my DD feel worse to point i thought DD was gonna cry.

At the end she got up in a huff and said "Oh my goodness, yes it was an x"

AIBU to think if your job means your around children alot, you should accept to being deal with children will certain issues and have some patience. I do know NHS are under pressure, but patience wouldnt go a miss.

Im probably being precious, but it did annoy me to have DD spoken to like that.

Atrocious - do complain! Your poor DD...

Not precious at all. Tbh I'd have walked out if she'd spoken to my kid like that.

Sounds like she needs some better training in patient management!! Your poor DD. Do complain, through PALS if the hospital has an office, because it's not reasonable for her to have behaved that way.

YANBU.

Lougle - your poor DD as well, 4 is barely more than a baby really :(

that is totally unacceptable OP and no you are not being precious at all.

I've been to a lot of appointments with ds (hearing issues but no other SN) and mainly he is fairly cooperative but I remember taking him to see the SALT once and he just refused to play ball. It was after school on a Thursday and he was tired and fed up and wanted to go home. I was a bit frustrated with him but I would have been furious if she had spoken to him like that.

Everyone who deals with ds (doctors, audiologists, SALT, ToD etc) is relentlessly positive with him - it's all about praise and encouragement.

I know i should have said something, but i didnt want the confrontation infront of DD, it would have just panicked her more, my focus was getting DD through it, DD eventually did it with my encouragement.

Luckily, her next appt is with another doctor, but i will complain over her attitude, and i did tell her DD doesnt react well to pressure.

That is awful! I've had glasses since I was 6 months old (yes, six) and used to love going to the opticians as they were all so lovely. I remember being slightly miffed when I was told I would need to go from quarterly visits to annuals!

This attitude is shocking - would they have spoken that way to an adult? No. Sounds like the person in question may have very little interaction with children and is perhaps doing what they 'think' gets a response based on how they were spoken to as a child... wildly applying theories to justify rudeness

Lastnight, its a childs only clinic, so shes had alot of interaction with children, which is why it makes me angry.

My DN is autistic too and i dread to think how she would have reacted to him.

My DD has been to the Bristol Eye Hospital regularly since she was six months. They have always been brilliant and great at handling children. I would complain as your experience was bang out of order.

I have three with ASDs, all wear glasses and I've never had any bother. Complain, not only was it rude, it was extraordinarily unprofessional.

You should absolutely feel free to speak up right away when this happens! Maybe she was just having a bad day, but she should know better, and she's going to make your DD more scared next time.

Our DS2 is 9 and SEN including ASD. When he has a check up like that it always has to be a pediatric eye or ear specialist in the big clinic for developmental disorders. This means we wait forever for checkups, but if you live somewhere where this option is available (probably mainly London) you can request it in future when your GP makes the referral. At the least, make sure to start each appointment with a warning that DD has SN (now that my DS is getting good enough at language to understand I'm thinking of writing up a brief explanation and handing it to the doctor/nurse/dentist at the start so we don't have to actually say this stuff in front of him).

Six is young anyway; lots of perfectly neurotypical kids would baulk.

Definitely NBU

Ds is disabled and sees an opthamologist every 3 months, he is non verbal and hates people talking to him, but they are always calm, patient and very understanding.

I would be fuming in your position.