Is this wrong? Regarding putting ds on the organ donor list.

[TroLoLo]

I've been on the list for a while but I recently signed ds up for it. I wasn't sure if I could do this at first but I looked into it and it was fine. When I said to ds dad he said it was wrong as ds had no choice in it. He was pretty annoyed. Ds is 2.5. I'm also sure my mum put me on the list when I was little, I vaguely remember having a card.

Obviously ds didn't make this choice but if, god forbid, anything was to happen to my ds I would rather another child could benefit and hopefully get out of the horrendous situation they are facing.

I know this is a bit morbid but I'm a student nurse so it's something that I've had to think about iykwim.

You reminded me to talk to DS tonight, he's 16 now so needs to join the register in his own right now.

DH and I are both on the list, and I've just pledged to donate my brain to the Brain Bank for Autism.

DD isn't on the list as I'd prefer that she do it herself - but in the horrible situation that I needed to make a decision I know in my heart that I'd agree to donation.

If the worst should happen, they wouldn't transplant a child's organs if one of the parents doesn't consent to it. And rightly so.

I haven't signed either of my DCs up as I know they'd have to ask DH and I and we'd say 'Yes' in a blink of an eye.

You're right, I should have told him before I signed him up but it really did seem like a no brainer to me. I'm aware it wasn't exactly a high drama situation.

lljk - it probably goes on more than we realise. I imagine there are a lot of medical scenarios where doctors can overrule parents (with legal back up) if they do not feel the parents are acting in the child's best interests. If the child involved has been a lot older and could offer their opinion and convinced the doctors they themselves didn't want the transplant then I guess things might have been different. But could the doctors really just let a 6 month old baby needlessly die because of her parents religious beliefs? Consent in paediatrics is a minefield.

oh wait, was the recipient child the one whose parents were JW, or the donor child? I thought you meant that the donor child had the JW parents. The former scenario isn't uncommon, but the latter would be news headlines.

Everyone that would accept organs should be on the register to donate.

Definitely got our wires crossed then

Yes, the JW parents were those of the child who needed the organ.

You're right though, can you imagine if the opposite scenario had happened, lol, bloody hell that would definitely make the tabloids and World News

I signed my tribe up. Fully agree it should be an opt out system. I forgot to tell my ex for a while, butbwhem I remembered he said he'd assumed it would have been done, and he was ok with it. My eldest knows she is on the register and has no plans to remover herself. She can't wait to give blood either. The others will be told and given heir choice as they become aware and mature enougj for the decision.

I hope the Welsh change to opt-out goes well and becomes a nationwide policy. So many people die needlessly:(

Please forgive my typos. Cold fingers and distractions!

Part about this thread that confuses me is that we know of other children who died suddenly in last 10 yrs whose parents were told that their organs would not be suitable for donation, which did nothing to alleviate the pain, iyswim. I suppose there must have been other reasons in those individual cases, but I half wonder how suitable most children's organs are for donation.

I think this is something that both parents need to agree on. And I agree it's a good idea to talk about how you feel about this issue.

Also, I may be wrong here, but I thought that relatives were asked about organ donation regardless of whether or not the register was signed?

There are regularly court cases like this, very stressful for all involved especially with a poorly child. Very few get to the tabloids unless someone decides to tell/ sell their story to the press. Much more dignity for the child if stories can be kept out of the public eye.

I don't think relatives should be allowed to over-rule an adult's choice to donate. I'm on the register, I would be happy for any of my organs to help others. What's the point of taking something useful to the grave? I'm NC with most of my family and they should have zero say in the decision.

Sorry, bit of a rant!

Why does anyone object to organ donation? I don't see what would be wrong with making it opt out rather than opt in.

Wish upon a star makes a good point about having less time to say goodbye if life support were switched off - that could affect your ex if he needs longer to get to hospital. In principle I would want to donate but I don't agree with opting out.

And if we did change to that system would opt out.

Good for you, OP. There are too many people who would never put their child on the organ donation registry but would expect an organ to be found for their own child if needed. So very selfish of them - and unselfish of you.

lljk organ donation is complicated. Organs have to be in a good condition in order to be taken and gifted to someone else. Hearts, for example, can only be taken from someone who is declared 'brain-stem dead' and is withdrawn from life support in very specific conditions (in theatre). For other organs (heart valves are the exception) there is usually around 5minute window from time of death to the child being in theatre having organs removed. Thus is not feasible for sudden deaths that cannot be stabilised on life support until recipients are found and the surgeons are ready.

all of mine are on the list and when they were old enough I have spoke to them and said if tey dont want to be on it I would take them off so far none of my boys have asked

Someone upthread said next of kin can override the wishes of an adult on the register. This is no longer the case:

What will happen if my relatives object?
We know that in most cases families will agree to donation if they knew that was their loved one's wish. If the family, or those closest to the person who has died, object to the donation when the person who has died has given their explicit permission, either by telling relatives, close friends or clinical staff, or by carrying a donor card or registering their wishes on the NHS Organ Donor Register, healthcare professionals will discuss the matter sensitively with them. They will be encouraged to accept the dead person's wishes and it will be made clear that they do not have the legal right to veto or overrule those wishes. There may, nevertheless, be cases where it would be inappropriate for donation to go ahead.

From the NHS site

One of the cases was a child on life support when the parents were asking before the body stopped breathing, WishUpon. But I imagine the rejection was partly because of uncertainty about his cause of death (I don't want to give details for obv. reasons). So very sad. :-(

I think that there should be more openness about organ donation but also the autopsy procedure, especially in under 18 deaths and unexpected deaths.

I wonder if people realised that the body may be cut in the area anyway, it may change their mind.

I think it is utter selfishness not to consider donation.

However, there is still questions about harvesting eggs etc from females and the use/experiments of those, that make me uncomfortable about my DD's ticking "all" on the forms.

With regard to the idea that a parent could be taken to court to force a child to have a transplant as in the example given earlier. That might be true for some cases where transplant is very likely to be successful. I don't really know.

What I do know is that for really tricky organs such as lungs where you are looking at the child having maybe 2 more years to live or the chance of a transplant, then given transplant is so risky and the outcome uncertain, parents and older children are totally within their rights to turn transplant down. It's a palliative treatment after all, life prolonging, not life saving.

If two parents were unable to agree I imagine that would go to court.