Hubby got job without telling me

[marthadm]

My husband is currently out of work and planning a new business. However to keep himself busy he has just taken a job between 5pm and 7pm, 30 minutes away WITHOUT telling me. I have just mentionned that it would have been respectful to have maybe talked to me beforehand, especially as I have never said no. He then blew up and said I was keeping him on a short leash! I told him that as it was 'family' time i.e. kids are home, he could have at least told me. I work too (admittedly from home and not full time) but I have always taken a back seat while he worked and looked after the kids, the house etc. Now that he is at home full time, am I unreasonable to expect that he pulls his weight? Am I being unreasonable?

No-one with dcs can take a job without ensuring that childcare will be available. Your dh has just assumed that you are that childcare. He shouldn't have assumed, he should have asked. Not sure what is un-grown-up about that tbh.

I agree MrsFeathersword.

On paper an hour's commuting for two hours work looks out of balance.

I wonder why he was so keen to take it and why he felt the need not to tell you what he was up to until it was a fait accompli.

Could he have a point when he says he feels you keep him on a leash?

And I think YABU btw. It's paid work and that's not to be sneezed at anywhere.

I know you said he gets 90% for 2 years but surely being unemployed 2 years does not look so good on CV and makes it harder to get back to work,

I can see that from financial point of view it is not necessary for him to work for 2 years and maybe you were hoping he would be SAHP for 2 years while you did your thing but maybe that was not discussed either,

just as some mums can't cope with being ft sahm and want to go back to work even if financially they do not need to not every dad is suited to FT sahd either he might have taken job so he keeps in touch with working feels he wants to earn some money himself etc all valid reasons for not wanting to not work

I think there is breakdown in communication and assumptions on both sides

are you taking the piss it is family time no wonder the poor bloke never said anything to you of course he should have spoken to you about getting a job or what he was doing BT FAMILY TIME GET A GRIP LOVE

YANBU

Am I the only person here with thinks it really weird that he has taken a job at the one time he is needed at home?

What job is it OP?

Sounds like an excuse not to be there during those horrid hard work hours to me.

YABU and very Ott.

YADNBU
OP: I think he is escaping from the family time, as he probly doesn't enjoy it.

When he was working he didn't get home till 8.00pm.

How would he like it if you disappeared from 4.30 - 7.30pm every day?

I think some of the replies on here are very odd and very ill mannered. Of course he should have discussed it with you.

I don't know why people are being so harsh on the OP. I think it is perfectly reasonable to discuss getting a new job with your partner to work out childcare.

So, when he leaves/loses THIS job, his new benefit will be based on the new salary, not from his old job?

Yanbu.

I do think he should have discussed it I just think a job is a job and if it is 5 to 7 then it is bringing money on osnt ot