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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we are just as entitled to this help as 'older' people?

358 replies

Edenviolet · 10/01/2014 11:05

We have four dcs all with significant health issues. I do not drive and we struggle to get them to the numerous and frequent hospital appts and they also have a lot of illnesses so need to see the gp a lot.

This has meant dh taking far too much time off and when he can't it costs a fortune in taxi fares.

Our gp surgery runs a transport scheme for gp and hosp appts. I phoned today as we really need the help. The woman I spoke to was decidedly off and said the service is really meant for older people, and how had I been getting to appts till now why couldn't I do that. She was very sharp in her manner and quite dismissive. Then she said I had to see the dr to get approved and that they might not and if they do there was no guarantee she would be able to find a driver when I needed one.

I phoned back to make the gp appt and suddenly heard my name in the background- the woman I'd just spoken to was talking about me and dcs to another person and it didn't sound complimentary! The receptionist I was speaking to suddenly realised, put the call on hold then came back on and said , oh I'm really sorry about that.

It has made me feel like rubbish Sad

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 10/01/2014 11:47

It's true they can't always get someone though Op.
We only have a couple up here and if they're not available then I've had to cancel an appointment before.
It is all done through the Scottish Ambulance service and they get paid a pittance so we're lucky to have anybody.
I suppose having 4 children and yourself though, how would you all fit in a normal sized car?

Slubberdegullion · 10/01/2014 11:47

Well for a start I would absolutely make an official complaint to the practice manager, firstly about the receptionist's tone (completely unnecessary and unhelpful) and secondly for her discussing you with someone else in earshot of anyone on the phone.

Then I'd make an appointment with the GP (telephone one should suffice) to inquire whether you are eligible to use their transport scheme or not.

fluffyraggies · 10/01/2014 11:48

Hedgehog - there is a scheme where we are called 'rural wheels', and that is for driving people to hospital appts who would otherwise struggle. It's not completely free, you pay a small fee (£3/£4 for 10 miles or so) to cover petrol costs, i think.

But my point is that when you need to order a car you ring the co-ordinator, NOT the docs receptionist. You see worried about her being awkward in future. Hopefully you wouldn't need to go through her.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 10/01/2014 11:52

I always have the two younger dcs with me and if one of the older two have an appt the other is at school.

Next week we have two physio appts, the week after a consultant appt then beg feb another appt in diabetes clinic, hospital a week later for blood tests and dd1 has an appt about surgery end of feb. we are overwhelmed. Dcs get ill a lot too and dh is off work too much, it would have eased the situation a bit if some of those appts we had help with getting to and from meaning dh can work and we don't have to spend a fortune on taxis, they charge five pounds through the scheme to go to the hospital whereas the other day it cost me £19 in taxi fares.

OP posts:
givemeaclue · 10/01/2014 11:52

Can you use public transport rather than taxi

Original poster
Edenviolet · 10/01/2014 11:53

It was the co ordinator who I spoke to who was not very pleasant, I spoke to the receptionist to get the gp appt for approval and she was lovely esp when realised what I could hear in the background.

OP posts:
drinkyourmilk · 10/01/2014 11:53

elliejtiny ask your GP about nutrica homeward delivering your milk. We had that service. If not could you change pharmacy? Many will deliver heavy loads.

hedgehogs I would definitely complain about the receptionist gossiping, I would also talk to gp about patient transport. Does the hospital run a transport service too? Or are they linked together.

drinkyourmilk · 10/01/2014 11:55

Cross post re receptionist and coordinator.

Original poster
Edenviolet · 10/01/2014 11:55

With a double buggy and either both older dcs or one of them its impossible. They all have such complex needs its too difficult and if its busy its impossible as they need to sit down ( they dislocate joints easily if stumble and dd1 faints). I can't hold on to all of them/push buggy etc.

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 10/01/2014 11:56

We also have a voluntary car scheme which I use often to get to the bus stop ten miles away and other short journeys.
That also costs petrol money, usually £2-£4 but it has nothing to do with the surgery, and they don't do the 60 mile journey to hospital as it's out with the region.

scaevola · 10/01/2014 11:59

I think everyone gets a hard time when they first enquire about transport services, because they are seriously oversubscribed and they are trying to ensure that anyone who has any form of alternative uses that. So to that extent you may not have been treated differently to an older new enquirer. And the warning that it's subject to availability is standard.

But gossiping about patients is unprofessional generally and completely unacceptable in places where it can be overheard by other patients or any other random people. That is complaint territory.

RestingActress · 10/01/2014 12:10

Hedgehog if you haven't already you really should apply for DLA - having a child / children with additional needs is really costly in so many ways and that is exactly what this should cover.

DoubleLifeIsALifeOfSorts · 10/01/2014 12:16

Complain about gossiping and also wrong information.

Hospital transport is for those that need it, not based on age.

It is available however:

  • its rubbish and you could easily be waiting around half the day/ actually miss the appointment due to their lateness/ timing issues

And this is the big concern - more than likely they won't take anyone except you and the patient. When I enquired about transport I didn't end up going for it as they wouldn't take my carer (!) AND they wouldn't take my baby either. No provision for child seats, and no 'extra' passengers. They suggested I get the transport and I should pay for my carers taxi or train tickets to meet me there, and that I should pay for a baby sitter or nursery to take my baby ....

So just doing some adding up. One hospital trip = transport for me + days childcare (intermittent as then my Ds was a baby & breastfed so wasn't in childcare!) + transport for me to pick up & drop off baby at childcare plus carer to fit car seat & take out at end + carer wages for waiting with me for hosp transport & helping me into it + her time & transport for getting her to hospital to help me there, and as they couldn't guarantee what time I'd get there would be better for her to get taxi there to make sure she d be there in time to help me...

Surprisingly, I didn't do that! I got some funding via social services to employ a carer with car who drove me with baby to hospitals without all that fuss & expense.

I am wondering if you can also try and get ss funding to help you get to hospital appointments. Not being able access healthcare is a recognized Need.

3asAbird · 10/01/2014 12:23

it is really sad people struggle so much.

do you have a health visitor? can she help at all in talking to transport.

wish theire was more adhc creches/childcare for this sort of thing.

hope you get it sorted.

SeaSickSal · 10/01/2014 12:30

Used to work with patient transport. They definitely shouldn't be telling you this.

Would you mind telling us roughly what area you are in? I might be able to search and find you some useful information and and some contacts for you to get further with this.

CouthyMow · 10/01/2014 16:30

I just have to budget for taxis which I can't always afford I'm trying to spread out my appointments for me and the children a bit more now because some weeks I can't afford to pay my bills in order to get the children to all their hospital appointments. I had 117 appointments last year.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 10/01/2014 16:42

I know I've asked you this before but are you getting any help from social services?

Floggingmolly · 10/01/2014 16:46

Hedgehog. Was it you on another thread who said a large percentage of your DLA is funding your DH's car, which you can't use as a non driver?
If so, you were advised to rectify that situation as a priority.
My advice on this thread would have to be the same...

JodieGarberJacob · 10/01/2014 16:47

I don't think I would consider hospital transport with a family ( if, indeed, they would be allowed), purely because of the possible waiting times. My mum had to be picked up at 6.00am for a 9.00am appointment because of picking up others en route and then had to wait until 1.00pm for a lift back which got her home at 3.00pm. She only lives 20 minutes away from the hospital! It is brilliant if there are absolutely no alternatives but not if you have other things planned for the day! Good luck op, I hope you get somewhere.

theywillgrowup · 10/01/2014 16:50

do you recieve DLA op??

Original poster
Edenviolet · 10/01/2014 17:12

No, it is not funding 'dh's car' it funds the family car which is expensive as has to be big enough for dcs buggy and sometimes wheelchair.

Dh takes us to drop older two dcs at school each morning and we use it at weekends and in evenings if dcs need to go to hospital. Dh works long hours and does drive there yes, but, he takes off as much time as possible for appts but there are so many he can't do all of them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Edenviolet · 10/01/2014 17:13

It used to be difficult to afford taxis but impossible now due to funding medical things for dd

OP posts:
theywillgrowup · 10/01/2014 17:22

so your getting dla,if its the mobility part this is what the payment is intended for,transport for getting about etc

you may find that harsh but that is its purpose,not for hubby to get to work

his work car should be funded by normal means if this is the case,the mobility payment is for the person's intended needs

apologies if ive got it completley wrong but thats how im reading it

Laurel1979 · 10/01/2014 17:32

Sorry thus will be unpopular but I agree with theywillgrowup. If your children receive DLA mobility then the car should be used for their transport needs, not your husband's. The patient transport scheme is likely run by volunteers, for the use of elderly people who are not entitled to DLA/PIP, not those who already have a mobility car.

I would complain about the way you were treated on the phone though, confidentiality is paramount and it sounds like it was broken.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 10/01/2014 17:37

I don't think that having the mobility car is a good idea given that their main carer i.e. you doesn't drive! Then, it would free up finances for taxis etc. It does sound like your DH is benefiting most from the mobility car which is insane given your struggles with 4 disabled children!