To be driven COMPLETELY BONKERS by my loo lingering DH?

[MrRected]

What can possibly take 35 fucking minutes?

It's just ever so slightly disgusting to linger in your own stench!

Why, oh why, do you have to disappear every time we need to go out!!

I could write this about my DP!! So glad I'm not the only one!

Aibu for a) finding it gross b) finding it extremely irritating?

Do you or your dp do this?

35 MINUTES . If it genuinely takes him 35 minutes to poo (and it's not just his reading time), he really needs to see a doctor.

My Husband makes it an event he does have problems though so i leave him to it and the toilet after he has been in

He likes me to believe it's the call of nature. I have called him on needing to see a doctor - he is perfectly fine . Just weirdly obsessed with sitting on the lav (with kindle or iPad) for extraordinary long periods of time .

No YANBU. At all. In the slightest! Toilet lingering in the manner is utterly gross.

Maybe they are immune to their own stench?

maybe he is just having half hour peace maybe his pooing takes longer than yours

Must be totally immune EatD1st. Or just very weird.

Yanbu. My dh tends to wait til the worst moment ( ie 8.50 when he is taking dd2 to school) but in fairness he is in and out in a couple of minutes.

If he's in there for any length of time I KNOW he's on his phone [grin ]

Lol MrsJay

I think dh plays on his phone while he is sitting there. He goes as soon as he gets in from work and is gone 10-15 minutes. I guess it's wind down time. I get in there, arse on the seat, job done, wash hands and leave. But then I am usually accompanied by a child or the flipping cat.

dh has started to take his ipad i was fine with the paper I usually had read it anyway but when he says do you want a go on the Ipad I do shudder and think no dear you have been pooing reading that

Oh dear god dp is bloody terrible for this.

He comes in from work, says hi and then evwry single day says " just gunna nip to the bathroom"

Then anywhere between 30-50 mins later he emerges amidst the horrendous stench.

Yes, he sits on his phone. But the thing is.....the toilet is downstairs.....about 10 feet away from the front room and 3 foot from the kitchen. If it was upstairs I could ignore it.

Tis always ALWAYS when we need to go out. Or I need a shower.....or anything that involves him not being locked in the bathroom for an inordinate amount of time. Tit.

YANBU

Toilet habits are one of the things I'd like to change about my hubby. We had to get a loft conversion done, not because we needed the extra bedroom, but because we needed another bathroom.

He will be in there an hour and still not have showered. I can be done in 10 mins including doing a dump!

Tbh, I think his stench and how long it takes it's mostly to do with his piss poor diet. But he also catches up with Facebook and the news on his phone which distracts him.

Drives me mad

an hour does he not like you joysmummy

I live in a flat it is revolting him sitting there for half an hour

Ha ha that's funny my ex does the same thing

So glad it's not just me.

Shuddering at the prospect of fecal matter on the iPad - ewwwwww!!!

I never touch it ever

This will sound awful.

I once had a relationship end due to boyfriend's loo-lingering habits.

It wouldn't have been so bad if he had any shame! He didn't confine it to the home. He would routinely leave me sitting in a restaurant with the check while he spent more time in the loo than we'd spent enjoying our meal, would disappear at family parties while my relatives kept asking where he'd gone...

I still turn red remembering. I'm honestly glad to be rid of him.

least my husband keeps it for when he is at home that sounds awful tbh on my husband he does have IBS

MissPryde - that's terrible - DH has issues about foreign loos, so we don't have that problem.

My brother and my dad do this. Luckily I don't live with them anymore, but when they come to stay it drives me mental. We only have one bathroom - they came to stay when DD was born and would hog the bathroom for up to an hour at a time EACH, while I hopped around willing my poor mutilated pelvic floor muscles to hold on. My brother would just whine 'but I find it relaxing in the toilet...' FFS! Sit and daydream in a room that DOESN't prevent other people from pissing you selfish selfish arsehole manchild!

And breathe.

I totally understand Peppa, my DH say as it's his "quiet time". We have 3 toilets so you'd think this wouldn't be an issue - WTf does he have to use the loo with the kids toothbrushes at school run time argghhhh!

He doesn't get why this bugs the shitting pants off me????

He does it to get a break I would imagine. DP isn't that bad - he's normally in there for about for 10 minutes, but he's been known to sit there for upto 30 minutes at a time.

Ahh, wondered if there were kids involved. Statistically women are more likely to have IBS but even in 'modern Britain' they are still doing flipping everything because they don't have the luxury of retiring to the bathroom to hide/get off scot free with not doing anything useful/eventually produce a poo worthy of a medal by virtue of its sheer unnecessaryness. It would have come out in its own time, with about 60 seconds betwixt bum hitting seat and poo hitting bowl. But that doesn't build in any blatant dodging of being part of a family, does it?