to ask you if you had a big baby & episiotomy the first time then had better luck second time around?

[Cbeebijeebies]

Just that really

Had a horrific 4hr birth (1 and a half of which were spent pushing!) with 9lb 4 DS1 but now me & DP are thinking of having one more and I'm fairly set on an ELCS as I'm just too scared of having another birth like that. It took ages to heal and the stitches fell out early so it all just fell apart & was very traumatic. Looking to be more educated on it though just in case.

I was told that a tear repairs better because it isn't straight - the jagged edges fit together like jigsaw or velcro so make a neater heal.

That certainly sounds true in my case - and the memory of the scissors cutting into me is still vivid 20 odd years later

My second birth was much better.

DD was just 8lb 2oz, I had an episiotomy which became a 3a tear.

DS was 11lb 7oz, just an episiotomy to get forceps in and get his massive 40cm bonce out

DS1- 13lb1oz!
DS2- 6lb3oz.
DS3- 7lb10oz.

It worked out well fr us! Thankfully no DS1 size repeats. DS3 was ELCS for MH reasons, but DS2 wasn't and the birth went well.

I had an episiotomy and a tear the first time round (3rd degree so not nice). Second time around, I had a c-section as DC2 was breech. It ended up being an emergency c-section as he turned up before the scheduled c-section date (went into labour naturally).

I know this isn't going to be popular, but I'd recommend the c-section. Very quick, scar healing nicely (was only a few weeks ago) and apart from the first couple of weeks, I've been able to look after toddler DD as well as the newborn no probs. I've said it here before but quite frankly, I'd rather have stitches in my stomach.

Can I just say that even if you had another episiotomy, it might not be so bad?

I've only had one DS so no idea if second time round will be better, but my forceps + episiotomy was actually ok! The obstetrician was excellent, I had a small cut which unfortunately tore almost to my back passage, but he stitched me up very well. Apart from sitting on ice for a few days and having a couple of salty baths, it all healed very well.

The tissue of the perineum is made for this and tends to heal quickly like mouth wounds do, unlike surgery elsewhere. I'd take another episiotomy any day over a non-healing or slow healing abdominal wound. The problems start when you don't have adequate analgesia or a skilled person doing the suturing after.

I expect I'd always need an episiotomy given that DH and I have massive noggins (DS wasn't that big but his head was MASSIVE) so I'd only labour in a consultant led unit and would insist on a consultant obstetrician doing my episiotomy and suturing.

Thanks wibbly

It took me months to not keep flashing back to being cut/vividly remembering the sensation at random

Hell yes. Although not a big baby. DS 8lbs 2oz, 36 hr labour, 3 hrs pushing (yes 3), failed epidural, back to back presentation. Prepped for C section but delivered in theatre with forceps. Episiotomy which tore internally up to my cervix. Retained placenta. 1hr bring stitched in theatre. 6 weeks post delivery diagnosed with anterior and posterior prolapse as a result of the trauma.

DD smalled, 7lbs 10 but calm, relaxed, relatively pain free, 7 hr labour, in the pool (despite another back to back presentation), g&a only, got out to have waters broken, 2 mins and 2 pushes later she arrived. No tears, no stitches

Another one with a very long (approx 48 hours from waters going to birth) first birth (inc forceps, ventouse, tear, haematoma and lots of blood loss) for 9lb+ baby to a very quick, 3 hrs (practically had her in DS car on the way to hospital) for similar sized dd2.

In DH's car, not DS's!

I had episiotomy, 3rd degree tear and forceps first time round - horrific and still have problems now 4yrs on. I then managed to get pregnant when DS was 8wks.
I was petrified of giving birth again and awake at night worrying about it trying to decide between c-sec and natural.
I finally decided I'd avoid the c-sec cos with that you are guaranteed surgery/recovery time/scarring whereas with vaginal birth I might get lucky.
I was induced on due date as DD was also big and it was over in 3hrs, I went off for a nice breakfast an hour before she was born.
Afterwards I remember saying 'is that it?' I couldn't believe how easy it was in comparison.

My first was a whopper and I had 2 hours of pushing, extensive tearing, an episiotomy & a dreadful 1.5 hours of stitches.

My 2nd was smaller and I had an easy, enjoyable birth with no tearing or cutting.

Hope it's the same for you!

Hi! I had horrible labour with DD - forceps and episiotomy after very prolonged pushing that got nowhere. She was 9 15.

Following the birth I had a prolapse, so for my next baby (due in a couple of weeks!) I am having a ELCS. Had no problems getting this.

My first was horribly horrific 37hour long labour ending in an episiotomy and hundreds of stitches it looked like I had testicles, bloody awful DS weighed 7lb 13oz it was just so awful it hurt to sit down for a week. But with DD although I still had long 29hour labour she was 8lb 3oz no need for episiotomy no rips and I could sit down without crying! Hope it's the same for you!

1st time I had an extensive episiotomy. DD1 was 8lbs 7.5oz and 57 cms long (I am only small).

2nd time round I had a much better birth to a smaller baby, although she had a bigger head. I still tore along the episiotomy scar but it was nothing, just a small tear and I didn't feel it.

only had episiotomy with DS1 (9lb 2 oz) as his head was tilted and stuck in the birth canal and 3 hours of pushing did nothing but give him a nice big bruise - he ended being forceps delivery.

DS2 - 9lb 1 oz - completely fine, some tearing

DS3 - 9lb 6 oz - he came fast with only 3, but mighty pushes so I tore a bit, but fine

DS4 - footling breech therefore ELSC. he was 8 lb 8 oz

DS5 - I was in full control when pushing, but he was 9 lb 14oz so caused some damage. All healed up, no drama.

DD - 8lb 3oz - no tearing therefore no stitches were needed! bless her perfect little head!
I had brilliant guidance again when pushing, another reason why I didn't tear!

#7 due in July - I'll let you know.

or anyone?

Yes - no1 9lb 13oz with hand up over his head - episiotomy plus 3rd degree tear. Owww

No 2, 7lb 12, home water birth, no tearing at all, like others have said, almost(!) enjoyable. Had a fantastic midwife who talked me through it all and stopped me pushing too hard as she knew my history.

1st birth - 8 failed inductions due to pre-eclampsia, 9th finally worked. 16 hour labour, 1.5 hours pushing ending in episiotomy, further tear, ventouse delivery, haemorrhage and blood transfusions. Ds1 was back to back which was not discovered until his head emerged and meant the ventouse had been in the 'wrong' place so he had a terribly misshapen head which scared the shit out of me (returned to normal within days though).

2nd birth - no problems in the pregnancy, in labour for 3 hours, 4 minutes pushing, home in less than 24 hours.

With DD1, I gave birth in theatre as they thought I might end up needing a c section. She was 9lb 2oz and back to back and I ended up needing an episiotomy amd forceps. I also had a second degree tear. Everyone assured me that second births are generally easier but unfortunately it wasn't the case for me. Second time round I gave birth in theatre again and again needed an episiotomy and forceps. DD2 was 10 lb 8oz. Although to be fair, this time I didn't tear and the recovery has been better. I doubt we will have any more children but if we do, I will be asking for a c section as I don't want to go through another birth like that.

Sorry to go off topic slightly, but just wondering how much 'damage' has been caused by medical staff not realising eg a baby was breech or back to back. The reason I ask is that DC2 was born in the US, DC1 in the UK and whilst I had just 2 scans in the UK, here I had 6 plus an extra one the day I went into labour just to check positioning. A friend in the UK recently had a ten hour labour which resulted in an emergency c-section as no one had realised her baby was breech.

Thanks for the responses. It hurt so much to walk that i spent the first week crying then it got infected and i felt so ill. I had problems with it for 3 months after and it was just horrid. I can't remember seeing DS for the first time or much about his first month which is quite sad really. I think a C section would probably be best as i don't want to have such a bad time again or risk being badly affected psychologically again as it really affected bonding between us at first.

First baby - 24hr labour, back to back, episiotomy, and he was 10lb 4oz. Took me 3 hours to push him out. They said I should have had a cs but as it was a Saturday they were short on anaesthetists!

Second baby - 6hr labour, back to back, after transition gave three big pushes and he shot out. DH said it was like he was on a water flume! He was 9lb 13oz.

When I went in to have DS2 I was sobbing I was so frightened. The kindest, oldest most amazing midwife patted me on the leg and said something I will never forget - "There, there dear. Don't worry. Nobody has to have their first baby twice."

^ they also said I should've have a CS cat ! That's a good saying too.

They didn't think he'd be that big as I'm not very big and he was my first but everyone in our family has massive heads (I can't wear fitted hats ) & the men are all 6"5 or taller. I should've known really shouldn't I!

They also tried to send me home when I got there as I'd only been in labour an hour ir less but the pain was awful & coming every 3 minutes & when they finally checked I was 6cm

It was night though and I wonder if the short staffing made it a totally different experience to what it might have been in the day!

I had a very easy birth with 10lb 7oz ds2 following a fairly horrid forceps and episiotomy experience with 9lb4oz ds1.

For me, having a relatively easy birth and recovery with ds2 helped lay to bed the ghosts of ds1's birth.

I certainly didn't have ptsd though and although you may get many positive stories on here, you have to do what is right for you.

Good luck with whatever you decide