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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask you if you had a big baby & episiotomy the first time then had better luck second time around?

80 replies

Cbeebijeebies · 09/01/2014 15:28

Just that really Smile

Had a horrific 4hr birth (1 and a half of which were spent pushing!) with 9lb 4 DS1 but now me & DP are thinking of having one more and I'm fairly set on an ELCS as I'm just too scared of having another birth like that. It took ages to heal and the stitches fell out early so it all just fell apart & was very traumatic. Looking to be more educated on it though just in case.

OP posts:
VelvetStrider · 09/01/2014 16:38

Yes, first baby was a pound heavier than yours, needing episiotomy and forceps. Second baby was similar size, and although a bit of a snag with shoulder dystocia, only resulted in a second degree tear which I barely felt. Recovery was much quicker too.

I put a lot of it down to doing pregnancy yoga. The breathing and positioning helped a lot and enabled me to get to 8cm bouncing on a gymball at home, and giving birth in a kneeling position once I got to hospital.

I only know one person (out of dozens) who had a more difficult birth second time. They are almost always easier.

Beastly · 09/01/2014 16:42

DC1 had a huge head so got stuck - 48 hour labour ending with ventouse and a nasty episiotomy.

2 years later..

I was having contractions at home, so called the midwife to come and check me (home birth), she did an internal examination - I was 10cm and half hour later DC2 was born Shock

Proudmummytodc2 · 09/01/2014 16:47

My first was a 3 hours 31 mins with a 9lb 5oz baby and had to get an episiotomy (and had a really hellish time even a year after the birth I was still sore bending down ect but went on to have my wee girl 2 years later natural delivery no help at 8lb 11oz although she was very small tbh she was in premature nappies and baby clothes ect but tbh don't think it would have made much difference if she was big I don't think I would have needed another episiotomy again I would try natural birth again x

HoratiaDrelincourt · 09/01/2014 16:50

DC1 - 98th centile head, induced, episiotomy, forceps, stitches.

DC2 - precipitate labour (one hour from first uncomfortable contraction), no pain relief or indeed pain really, 75th centile head, four pushes.

DC3 - drug-free home water birth despite being the biggest and having the biggest head

HoratiaDrelincourt · 09/01/2014 16:52

Oh and DC1 was four hours of pushing, let alone the three-day labour and seven-week false labour.

I swore I'd have a section with DC2, but then I had to have minor abdominal surgery... it was no fun to recover from so I went off the idea. Good thing too as DC2 and DC3 were so easy.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 09/01/2014 16:55

DD was 9lb 2 and back to back so got a bit stuck. I was cut then had a fanny full of stitches which was pretty horrific and oh so itchy when it healed!

DS on the other hand... 6lb 12 and came out in one push no stitches needed as only one tiny year which I barely felt. Admittedly I probably had a fanny like a bucket after having DD but even so can't complain!

littlewhitebag · 09/01/2014 17:05

I had episiotomy's with all three of mine and they were all just average sized - in the 7's. They healed well and you would never know i'd had one.

MrsMook · 09/01/2014 17:08

Not quite the same scenario, DS1 8lb 10 stuck in back to back after 40hr labour and 2 hours of pushing, EMCS and ended up in HDU and neo natal.

DS2 VBAC, 8lb 6, labour quarter of the time. Forceps in theatre with 3rd degree tear as signs of distress have to be interpereted as signs of potential scar rupture. The labour was much easier, and I felt so much better in the early days as my body was less exhausted and the healing zone was smaller.

The tear was more painful, but I'd still go VBAC for a DS3. I retained more strength and could actually carry and care for DS2 and was more useful to DS1 than I would otherwise have been. To me, a CS was a guarenteed longer recovery. VBAC was a gamble, could have been longer, could have been shorter. I didn't do brilliantly with mine, but I was still able to do things like driving much sooner.

Original poster
Cbeebijeebies · 09/01/2014 17:48

You'd certainly know I had one! Was cut sideways so when the stitches fell apart early some of the stuff didn't 'reconnect' well. It's a tiny bit noticable to the untrained eye and very noticable to professionals (or it has been whenever i've needed to see one for anything down there).

Interesting to hear some people were fine the second time, even after a horrific first birth.

OP posts:
steff13 · 09/01/2014 17:54

Three babies, three episiotomies. I had no problems healing with any of them.

DS 1 was 7lb 15 oz; DS 2 was 9lb 8oz; and DD1 was 8lb 6oz.

I started to tear with the first two before the doctor cut me, on the third, he cut me before I tore, and that one was much easier to recover from than the first two. I know it's though to be better to let you tear, but for me it was not.

SugarplumKate · 09/01/2014 17:58

I had a difficult first birth - 27 hours, failed epidural, 4 hour second stage, epistomy (was extended by tearing), ventouse, thrid degree tear only 8lb baby though. I went on to have 3 more (8lb, 10lb and 11lb!!) and the births were most definitely easier. To be honest, I did tear each time (second degree tears though) but the combination of me and my body both knowing what they were doing made things so much easier. In the subsequent births, I did not have induction via drip, which meant I could move around and this definitely helped. I actually had an induction via pessary with no 4 as I was induced at 38 weekd because of his size - he was due to be 12lb at birth and that was very quick too.

None of the subsequent births were 'easy', I really had to push the 10lb and 11 lb babies out! But nothing like the first one, I felt much more in control. I was very shocked after my first birth, I was quite young and had no idea what to expect so how you're feeling is very normal. I wouldn't take the idea of CS lightly though. Hugs.

fluffyraggies · 09/01/2014 18:10

1st baby - 6lb 7oz. Horrific 3 day labour, episiotomy, deep tears, and ventous. Stitches in 3 layers. Back to back labor. No one told me i should stay upright as poss. (20 years ago)

2 years later

2nd baby - 9lb 13oz Shock 18 hour labor, v.painful - but again back to back and i should have stayed upright longer. Small tear, no intervention. Couple of small stitches.

2 years later again

3rd baby - 7lb 5oz. 8 hour labor, back to back again. Stayed on my feet and/or all fours and much much less painful. No tears, no intervention.

Summary - baby size can vary greatly, and the timing and control or lack of it over pushing can have a big effect on tearing IMO.

Meh84 · 09/01/2014 18:17

DS was 8lb 10oz - not huge but his head got stuck! Forcep delivery, epiostomy, ouchie ouch.

DD was 7lb 10oz and came out with no problem, no tears and I was out the same night.

ukatlast · 09/01/2014 18:20

Yes Elective C-Section lol.

NewtRipley · 09/01/2014 18:25

In your shoes, I would ask for an Elective CS.

I had an EMCS with psychological side effects, followed by a VBAC with physical side-effects.

Have you had a debrief following your first birth, or any counselling around the PTSD? I would recommend a debrief. I also had a consultation with a private midwife (friend of a friend) when I was pg with my second and that helped me to make the decision about whether to try for a VBAC

Jacamaar · 09/01/2014 18:27

My ds1 weighed 7 lb15 and a half was an episiotomy.
Ds2 fast labour 7lb 11 and half back to back facing up was an episiotomy no problems.
Ds3 8lb 13 and a half 3rd degree tear in surgery for two hours after I was told in operating room that I could never deliver vaginally again.
Ds4 was I was told that I did not require a c section I just needed an experienced midwife they induced me 3 weeks early he weighed 9lb 2 and I got a 2nd degree tear and he broke his collar bone.
not every delivery is the same and my second baby was smaller than my first

NewtRipley · 09/01/2014 18:30

I agree with MrsMook's assessment.

In my case, the physical recovery from the EMCS was not much worse than from the VBAC - I was certainly in less pain after the emcs as the scar healed well.

Emotionally I think the VBAC laid some things to rest but I'm not sure the pain/tear/piles was worth it. That's the reason for my answer above.

Original poster
Cbeebijeebies · 09/01/2014 18:43

Thanks.

I think the psychological risk outweighs the possibility of an easier birth really. I got treatment for the ptsd/PND but it was a horrid thing to go through & I never want to feel the powerless during something so important again really. The just did it all without explaining much and I was in so much pain I couldn't really talk.

OP posts:
coco44 · 09/01/2014 18:43

I had an episiotomy with first DC (6lbs 7) and then it just 'unzipped' again with each similarly sized subsequent baby.BUt DC 5 was 5lb 14 and it opened a tiny bit, but this was worst because they wouldn't stitch it and it took forever to heal.

MrsSippy · 09/01/2014 19:42

I had a long labour (24 hours), ventouse delivery and episiotomy with my first boy, 13lb.

Second son flew out in 40 minutes, no tears or anything, luckily he was much smaller at 11lb 7oz.

curlew · 09/01/2014 19:48

I'd really like to see some research about big babies- because in my,obviously limited, experience, size seems to have no influence at all on the ease or difficulty of birth. The most horrible labour I have heard of was my sil- and the baby was only 7lbs, for example. I had two "easy" labours and mine were 9'9 and 10'6. I wonder if we could do a Mumsnet survey?

HoratiaDrelincourt · 09/01/2014 19:54

My hardest labour was my middle-weight child, easiest was lightest. 7lb9, 8lb9, 9lb9.

NorthernLurker · 09/01/2014 19:59

dd1 8lbs 8 and an episiotomy. dd2 8lbs 11 and another episiotomy. dd3 7lbs 13oz and ANOTHER episiotomy. I think some people are just not very stretchy and when you've been cut once you've got to contend with the scar tissue stretching (or not) as well. I suspect that the only one of my epis that was avoidable was the first one. The midwife dodn't think I was about to deliver and it was my first baby and they didn't listen to me very well nor coach me particularly. The pther labours were much better but my particular bottom was already shot to pieces. This was part of the reason why there is no dd4. I really don't think my body could take it. All that said OP - there are plentyI of posts I've seen from women who were in pieces all over the delivery room and have had subsequent babies without a stitch. It's very personal to you as to what will happen.

Original poster
Cbeebijeebies · 09/01/2014 19:59

I think DS being big went in his favour as far as gravity and the dilation/effacement/moving to the crowning stage went as it was so fast! I went to the hospital an hour after the pain started and was 6cm dilated already 1 hour later I was all ready to push! Might just be lucky biology wise though I had no time for pain relief as they expected it to be slower. Would've murdered someone for an epidural Grin

OP posts:
BabyMummy29 · 09/01/2014 20:03

I had 7.12 first baby with episiotomy, then 9.4 second and tore naturally.

Weirdly the second was far less uncomfortable and painful and much quicker to recover from.

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