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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why so many people drive their dc to and from secondary school?

280 replies

Dancergirl · 08/01/2014 23:04

Surely once at secondary school dc should get themselves to and from unless it's really not possible to get there by public transport?

Someone I know - her dd has started Year 7 at a local secondary. There is an easy and convenient school bus. But she's driving her and picking up every day even though she also has younger dc at primary!

At dd1's school (she's currently Year 8), it seems lots of her friends are driven to and from. Some live locally and there are very good public transport links.

Why?? Am I missing something?

OP posts:
Petitgrain · 09/01/2014 09:09

Why are you so surprised and amazed about other people's business OP? You sound like a judgemental busybody.

StanleyLambchop · 09/01/2014 09:13

Ok, if you want to take out cost factors, and assuming alternative transport is available (your OP did not mention cost, hence so many people explaining it as a reason, but OK , let's go with moving the goalposts a minute) I would say the second most popular reason is bullying on the buses. Then children with SN/ health issues which limit their ability to cope alone on public transport. Then convenience. Then plain old wanting to. How many reasons do you need? And why does anyone need to justify those reasons anyway?

lollylaughs · 09/01/2014 09:14

OP, people do live very different lives to the one you live. Our schools aren't walking distance from our homes. We have to travel on a motorway on which you cannot ride a bike. We have no busses or trains. What do you suggest?

felicity1971 · 09/01/2014 09:20

I drop DD at school in the morning as I'm going that way anyway and she walks home (about a mile and a half). DS attends same school but prefers to cycle both ways. Different things work for different people in different circumstances - don't judge!

whatever5 · 09/01/2014 09:22

I would take dd to school if she had to leave really early in the morning (e.g. 7 a.m.) to get the bus/train as if she had to get up early, I'd have to as well. The more time they have at home, the more time they have to relax/do homework etc. I had to spend a long time commuting to and from school as a teenager and life was a drudge. I don't want that for my children.

VodkaJelly · 09/01/2014 09:22

My teenagers are always asking for a lift to school. We live 10 minutes away - and thats walking not by car! They get told to jog on - literally

ErrolTheDragon · 09/01/2014 09:34

DDs school discourage children being driven - there's a primary school opposite so having big kids dropped off too would be mayhem. She loves the bus though - its her social club. We live over 20 miles away so the yearly pass is £905 but it would cost a lot more to drive (remember its not just the fuel, its adding mileage to the car and of course take DH or me a large chunk of time. Work it out using a standard mileage rate - even a few miles each school day adds up).

Most of the other girls are either in walking distance (small city) or have buses or trains - train station is quite close to the school.

elliejjtiny · 09/01/2014 09:37

£19.80 adult and £16.50 child for weekly passes here. They are only valid on one bus company (company a). So for the other 2 bus companies (b and c) you have to pay separately. Bus a is more frequent and reliable but often not low floor (I have DS2 in a wheelchair and DS3 and DS4, who is also disabled) in a double buggy so I need low floor. Bus b turns up twice an hour, is very unreliable but always low floor. Bus c only comes once every 2 hours. I spend about £50 a week on buses for me and DS1 to get my older boys to and from primary (DS2 gets a pass because he gets high rate mobility DLA, DS3 and DS4 are under 5). If I could drive I'd be doing that.

notso · 09/01/2014 09:44

My Mum used to drive me so I'd have an extra 20 mins to do my hair [mollycoddled]

Most of DD's friends who get lifts have younger siblings also being dropped off at the nearby primary. Two live on a horrible country road where no buses stop.

SaucyJack · 09/01/2014 09:48

Dunno how different things are these days, but bullying was a massive, massive problem when I was at secondary school. I wouldn't want a kid of mine to have to have to risk a violent assault every day if I could just pick them up instead.

Eastpoint · 09/01/2014 09:49

I sometimes give my children a lift just to be nice. They have to be at school at 720 some mornings for practices & it's very dark.

Lancelottie · 09/01/2014 09:50

DS plays the tuba. That's a reason in itself.

Mind you, one of his friends plays the harp -- harp goes to school by car, child follows by bike as there's no room for a passenger. Bet that one has raised a few eyebrows in its time.

nokidshere · 09/01/2014 09:51

its £40 a week for fares for my two to get to secondary school. We do a car share every other week to keep the cost down a bit.

Sometimes me or dh are passing the school anyway so give them (and their friends) a lift. It means they can have an extra hour in bed.

JustAnotherChristmasBauble · 09/01/2014 09:55

I think that if you lived round here you would understand why.
2 bus companies, neither very reliable or cheap.
Tractors on the only A road into town.
Schools are generally in the far flung villages except the 2 grammar schools and another (which, until recently, had a dire reputation).
Loads of little villages which take a long time to go round (eg bus goes through the village, down some very bad roads, through the next village, down some more shitty roads etc etc. driving you can go out of the village, up the road for a few miles and you're in town)
Because we're a grammar region, we have a larger catchment area
All the jobs are in town so, if your child goes to a grammar school, you're more than likely passing

I think we all have to remember that not everyone lives where we do...
Hearing about free travel?! Holy crap! Not heard of that round here at all!

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 09/01/2014 09:56

I drive in the mornings as I walk the dog with a group of people after I've dropped her. If she caught the bus back it would cost £11.50 a week and driving works out less, I'm currently working near school for a bit so am nearly there anyway.

This morning I was a bit distracted and drove off with dog but not child. I did realise very quickly as it was so quiet in to car, she was not amused.

TheWitTank · 09/01/2014 09:58

The "local" secondary is over 8 miles from our village and there is no transport provided, so parents have to pay £600 per year for their child to use the bus. A lot of the parents here have/will have two children at secondary together. It has worked out cheaper for parents to share the school run duty and lift share. Not everyone has a school within walking distance or on a bus route unfortunately.

HowlingTrap · 09/01/2014 09:58

Yea in all school ages far too many local people drive to school!

littlewhitebag · 09/01/2014 09:59

I drive my DD to her school 3 miles away because she is my child and i want to take her. I am not sure i need to justify this to anyone.

SonorousBip · 09/01/2014 10:03

DS also has a zip oyster so transport is FREEE!! (and that is to a private school). I genuinely did not realise that that was not the same in the rest of the country (I went to a state school - not in London - back in the day and had a free bus pass).

His 30-40 minute journey on a public bus which stops right outside his school is looking both convenient and good value!

WhereIsMyHat · 09/01/2014 10:05

Are there not free buses provided by the school nowadays, that's what happens where I grew up in a rural-ish town.

Buses are free for under 16s where we now live so come year 7 off they will go on the local bus to get to their secondary school. My neighbour drives the 10 minute walk to school despite insane traffic, fights for spaces etc. she then drives straight home. It her case, she just can't be bothered to walk.

TheGirlFromIpanema · 09/01/2014 10:05

I'm in a city - so plenty of buses, but a weekly pass is £11. DD is at our local school, but its still about 2.5 miles. I wouldn't get up and walk it every morning in the pissing rain and wind so I don't expect her to either. I already pay to run my car and an extra £430 per year on additional transport for her is a lot, so mostly I drive her. Sometimes when I am working she will walk or bus it.

Cost is a massive issue I think. Even in places with good transport links.

Daykin · 09/01/2014 10:06

Adults don't get this much stick for using cars.

"AIBU to wonder why this man gets a lift to work? A man at my office gets dropped off by his wife every day. He only lives 3 miles away and could easily walk or bike it."

It's OK to do something nice/convenient for anyone under 11 or over 25 but between those ages you are being 'indulgent' and 'not doing them any favours'.

mrsjay · 09/01/2014 10:07

omg daykin cant he get the bus Grin

Original poster
Dancergirl · 09/01/2014 10:09

Extra traffic on the roads is everyone's business petitgrain

There are some very valid reasons for driving in some circumstances, cost, unreliable public transport (or none at all) etc. But to drive a (non SN) child a short distance to school where there is a cheap, reliable alternative seems wrong to me.

Traffic congestion and pollution is a community issue. Call me judgmental if you like.

OP posts:
TheGirlFromIpanema · 09/01/2014 10:12

London is nothing like the rest of the country for either pollution or congestion though.
That's probably why you get free travel for school children!