omg health vistor!!!!

[Mummytotwox]

do you all remember awhile ago, health vistor turned up without an appointment. anyway i saw her and she said she is going to asses ds, but as hes 4 she doesnt normally do it. she asked me what days are best for her to come round, and i told her ds is at nursery on weds and thursday. all okay. she left a form for me to fill in.

anyway, few weeks later she turned up on a weds to asses ds, without an appointment, told her ds was not here. she gave me a date after xmas that she was going to come, soemthing like 3rd jan.

For some reason i completely forgot about the appointment! i missed her coming to the house, due to me and my babies at the park.

today i have recieved a really snotty text!!

"bring ds and the completed form to the health centre on friday 17th jan at 10am, if you do not attend this appointment it would be policy to inform childrens social care. health vistor"

now, my husband has thrown completed form away by mistake! and i feel like a twat asking for a new one.

i felt that text was really snotty :(

Christ on a bike!

An appointment is an arranged time between parties - not just one person turning up whenever.

Please make a complaint about her and don't engage with her any further.

Keep that text in case the snotty cow does actually report you.

In fact, keep it to use to report her.

Who the hell does she think she is?

An appointment is something in both parties' diaries.

She sounds a bit unhinged.

That's outrageous! I'd be making her text part of a very strongly worded official complaint, how dare she! Luckily you sound not easily intimidated, but she should not be getting away with this.

I think I'd reply:

"Turning up at my house unannounced is not an appointment. Please remove me from your list and do not contact me again."

Thanks everyone, this is a text I have just received.

Looking at my records it is 3 times you have not been in. my only concern is making sure Dexter is ok for school. I'm sorry you feel I was threatening you. It was not my intention but I don't have time to chase people and I have to follow our policies.

Can you confirm that them 3 tines we had appointments? I do know that you came on a Wednesday when I had told you Dexter is at nursery.

Shes just texted this

December 10, 11 and 18th. I didn't realise Dex was at preschool as Dawn booked appt and I can't possibly remember when all children attend preschool, but you hadn't filled in the papers so I could do the assessment. I am still happy to see him.

Im going to complain on Monday

What is wrong with her? Is she trying to cover her back or something?

They usually don't like it if you say you've had advice from SS on the matter.

Complain away. He first text about contacting SS could have really upset someone who was struggling, she needs to be pulled up on her professional conduct.

I don't think texting is very professional anyway. I text friends, not health care professionals.

As the others have said an appointment is a time date and place that every party required to attend is aware of and has agreed to,not just someone randomly turning up on the off chance that you will be there waiting for them.

She needs to be told this

Definitely complain. Her tone has become distinctly threatening. Very unprofessional, and unpleasant.

There seems to be some crossed wires here. Someone obviously did the appointments, didn't inform you but out them in the Hv diary.

Text msgs can be read in so many ways it's hard to say there in a tone. If it is the policy to report to ss after three missed statements then that's the policy. She wasn't threatening just stating the facts.

If your going to complain, I would complain about the whole making appointments, don't go in for a personal attack.

Complain! The first text alone could have sent me over the edge to nervous breakdown. I have a phobia of SS.

She does not understand the definition of appointment. No one can be expected to stay in 24/7 just in case. It isn't healthy for a start. She doesn't have to remember when every child is at school/nursery, she can record it in their notes which should be consulted when planning a visit any way. I would include these points in your complaint.

The HV's latest response seems quite reasonable

Just a thought but it's probably because your son is called dexter that she is threatening social services. Early intervention and all that

OP - you have mentioned your son's name several times and you might want to get that removed. I strongly suspect your HV will use your posting on here against you should she post/read.

If she is so happy to text you and threaten SS, it's a pity she didn't think to text you to make sure you were available for these "appointments".

Stop texting her!

By texting her it appears that you think it is an appropriate method for her to communicate with you other than to send a formal/impersonal message confirming a meeting time.

Do not talk to her at school - that is her personal time and her relationship to you when you are both there is not a professional one.

I think I would send note to the HV office requesting a different HV and recounting your version of missed appointments and concluding with the the contents of your text. Then leave it.

Birds in Essex children social care is the same as social services.

Gosh, never really heard of a HV textin threatening messages really!

Still as others have said its up to you if you want to even see her or not really, it's not the law as I didn't bother seeing HV with my dcs 3/4. Too busy.

If you make appointments for S/L would advise you to keep them as like gold dust...