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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that some elderly folk are actually quite rude?!

77 replies

M0naLisa · 07/01/2014 23:23

Today I was out was long home from a friends, I slowed down towards the end of the street because an elderly lady on a mobility scooter was crossing the top of the street, so as not to push in front slowing her down or to both end up at path at same time. About 7 terrace house down she stops in the middle of the path outside the local Londis then starts reversing.

I stop to let her 'park' up outside the shop, she got off the scooter and went in the shop, seeing I was behind her, she didn't open keep open the door for me, even though I had 11 mth old DS3 with me in the pushchair. No bother though, it's an easy door so I didn't have to struggle. Wink

In the shop I went straight to the counter as was buying cigs, lady walks towards the back of the shop shouting at owner if he had any xxxx. Owner walks out from behind counter and goes to get xxxx.

Owner walks back towards the counter and lady starts following, she gets near the counter and says oh I also need yyyy and goes to get some. Owner returns to the till to serve me.

Whilst serving me she says 'oh she may go first if she's in a hurry' Shock

So I just said 'yes I am'
I wasn't I just wasn't going to stand back and say 'oh go on you go first' Wink

Would any one else have found that rude?

OP posts:
LittleNoona · 08/01/2014 09:54

So from my post saying that I love old people, you firmly believe that I would like to keep one as some kind of pet? Really?

You do realise that you sound ridiculous don't you?

AliceInSandwichLand · 08/01/2014 09:54

I hope nobody would dream of entitling a post "am I being unreasonable to find some black people rude." Why is it still acceptable to use age in this way? If they are rude it's either because they have always been rude or possibly because they are developing dementia or some other sort of cognitive impairment. It's not just because they have been alive for longer.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 08/01/2014 09:58

Littlenoona i am not sure if you are pretending to missunderstand my post or you actually do misunderstand it. Either way- the post is there for you to re-read if you need to.

2Tiredtocare · 08/01/2014 09:58

Can't you find it offensive without dragging out that non comparison Alice the elderly are not a race and we will all be elderly one day

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 08/01/2014 09:58

Agree alice

stubbornstains · 08/01/2014 10:00

I think these kind of threads appear because there is an assumption in our society that it's the feckless youth that are rude, and that the elderly are generally impeccably behaved.

I think the assumption comes largely from stuff like all the letters written to local newspapers and magazines about the dreadful rudeness of today's youth- by the elderly, and articles in the right wing middle brow media- aimed at, and bought by, the elderly.

At present, our more respected forms of media (newspapers, and to some extent TV and radio) are produced by, and consumed more often by, the baby boomers and elderly, so there is going to be an anti youth bias.

curlew · 08/01/2014 10:00

The elderly can be rude or not rude. So can the young. And the middle aged.

Can't bear the casual ageism on Mumsnet. Happens all the time.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/01/2014 10:04

age is a protected characteristic within the equality act.
and yes we will all be old one day. some older people are rude but sometimes they are rude as a defense mechanism and out of fear .
some people arenrude some are not.

stubbornstains · 08/01/2014 10:06

Ah-ha! Found an interesting article on the subject...

www.newstatesman.com/media/2013/11/how-jon-snow-dissing-playstation-4-explains-why-no-one-cares-you-cant-afford-house

By the way, from personal experience, I find almost all the teenagers I know almost excruciatingly polite. Most of the very rude people I meet tend to be of the baby boomer generation.

2Tiredtocare · 08/01/2014 10:06

It's still not the same as Racism

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 08/01/2014 10:08

erm its a protected charateristic , same as race etc etc but hey whatever

MoreBeta · 08/01/2014 10:11

I know an old lady who rings church bells with me. She is lovely.

She works in a further education college as a librarian even though well past retirement age and she was telling me how all the young students ask her to look at their letters of application for jobs and university and she always has to correct their apostrophes. She doesn't get paid to do it but doesn't mind helping them and tells them off for using 'an apostrophe like a random event'.

She says she rarely from her desk but the students scatter like mice when she does move as they know there will be trouble when she fixes them with her 'Paddington stare'.

She is really quite cool and trendy and very 'young' in her outlook and the students clearly love her and respect her even though she is quite strict and proper.

I hope I am like that when I get older.

AliceInSandwichLand · 08/01/2014 10:12

My point is that prejudice against any group of people based on some sort of biological characteristic - age, gender, sexual orientation, race, disability - is wrong. Some of these biological characteristics, such as age and disability, often vary through life, while others such as apparent race or gender more rarely do, but it should be unacceptable to use any biological term as a way of grouping people to be prejudiced against them. People are much more aware than they used to be about racism in everyday speech, although I realise that's only a tiny part of that issue, but it's still quite ok to call someone a "silly old bat", for example. With ageism I think sometimes it's a form of denial that one will ever be slow and grey oneself...

DontmindifIdo · 08/01/2014 10:19

Some people are twats. Not all twats die young.

And yes, we have to repeated over and other that its the young who are rude and a problem. However, the baby bommers are now the old, they are a generation who have been repeatidly selfish, and the first generation to reject lots of social nicities/unearned respect. We might find the idea of the polite older generation has died with the more self-less and society focussed generation of WW2. Their DCs aren't prepared to 'get by' 'make do'.

Fakebook · 08/01/2014 10:21

Young people become old people.

DowntonTrout · 08/01/2014 10:36

My husbands business is one that predominantly deals with the elderly. Sadly most of them are also ill in one way or another. (Not care though)

The demands, rudeness and unreasonableness he encounters on a daily basis is quite astounding. I think this is often because they are lonely, frightened, maybe in pain or just generally struggling. Their lives and world become so small that something that would be a small issue normally is overwhelming for them. They do not understand that someone is not sat waiting at the end of their street 24 hours a day just in case they are needed. Time or the day if the week means nothing to them. They have no concept of anything other than themselves.

Of course, they, the elderly, are not all like that. Some are lovely, some are not. Some are rude because of the reasons I gave above some are just rude anyway. But the point is you do not know what goes on in someone's life or what they are dealing with. I could tell you stories that you wouldn't believe. It is very sad.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 08/01/2014 10:41

It's not ageism. I was horrified when as an adult I realised how rude and plain nasty some old people were. When I was growing up it was drummed into me that the elderly are always right and have to be respected. Ot took me long time to realise that if they're vile than I don't need to turn the other cheek so to speak.

MERLYPUSS · 08/01/2014 10:43

You get good and bad with everyone. My dad thinks he has earned the right to be rude.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 08/01/2014 10:47

drinkfeckarse what isnt ageism?

oldgrandmama · 08/01/2014 10:50

I am old and I am absolutely delightful!

MiaowTheCat · 08/01/2014 11:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 08/01/2014 12:09

Someone said upthread that there we go again with ageism, referring to the OP. Sorry, should have referenced it! Grin

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 08/01/2014 12:36

Totally irrelevant but something that had me WTAF and Shock in equal measure.

Years ago, there was a petrol shortage (about a week) , by Thursday I was driving on vapour, by Friday I was phoning every local garage in my lunchbreak to see if they had petrol.
(This was while the patients were saying "Oh that's discusting you should get petrol, you're an NHS worker, in the same breath, one man told me he took his two cars and filled to the brim.
Yes, I could get petrol if there was any )

I was waiting to turn into a side road (which happened to be near a petrol station but I wasn't queuing for fuel) and two elderly women fecking cut me up in their haste to get in the queue, the passenger brandishing her blue badge.
I was Hmm I wasn't even waiting for petrol, but hey, nearly take the face off my car , eh?

2Tiredtocare · 08/01/2014 12:56

Hey you use the same argument as a some of my Dcs schoolmates Hobnobs whatever indeed! I don't think this thread is ageism, it would be if it said all old people are rude. At worst it's a poorly thought out title but to compare it to racism and categorise it as racism is hysterical but yeah whatever