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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I probably am.

45 replies

allthingsfluffy · 07/01/2014 21:52

A person I know has told her entire family and friendship circle on facebook that her and her partner don't want any visitors whatsoever for three weeks after their baby is born. The baby is due in June.

I am all for women asserting themselves in the period following the birth, and that visitors can be overwhelming to some, but three weeks? And announcing it on FB?

OP posts:
Original poster
allthingsfluffy · 07/01/2014 21:53

Sorry, half my message disappeared.

AIBU to think she's being a bit precious?

OP posts:
nevergoogle · 07/01/2014 21:53

Their baby, their choice.

I'd gladly ban all visitors for the first couple of weeks.

CustardOmlet · 07/01/2014 21:54

Maybe she has been hassled by over zealous family/friends who want to plan visits/book hotel/flights and she has lost her temper.

TheGreatHunt · 07/01/2014 21:54

We did! Not via FB though. And just for 2 weeks.

ROARmeow · 07/01/2014 21:55

Some people conduct their entire lives through FB >yawn<

Yes, I do think she's being a bit precious, although I'd willing to be flamed for that. Nothing wrong with wanting privacy, but stating so on FB soooo far in advance of the birth is a bit Hmm

My guess is that she'll update her FB friends/family on the babies every fart, boak, and gurgle during those long 3 weeks.

Original poster
allthingsfluffy · 07/01/2014 21:55

All her family and her partners live near by.

OP posts:
HappyGoLuckyGirl · 07/01/2014 21:56

Congratulations, my very first YABU.

It's their baby, their choice.

nevergoogle · 07/01/2014 21:56

yes, I'd be assuming there are a couple of characters they don't want to visit in particular, but a blanket ban would make it easier for those people to take.

maybe it's you though Grin

Lambzig · 07/01/2014 21:57

We did, for two weeks (although not on ghastly Facebook, we just talked to people). In hindsight I would have been glad to show off DD after the first week, but I am still glad we did it.

smallandimperfectlyformed · 07/01/2014 21:57

Do you know what I'd have gone absolutely insane if it was just me and my husband for three weeks with our baby! I think it's a bit weird but agree with CustardOmlet that perhaps they've been hassled to the point of doing it.

aderynlas · 07/01/2014 21:59

Entirely up to them and they may well have good reasons. Three weeks seems such along time though.

Original poster
allthingsfluffy · 07/01/2014 22:00

We wouldn't have been visiting in the early days anyway :o

I know that a lot of people do like their privacy. Personally I loved showing mine off and having people round. I am a very private person the rest of the time, but I loved the very brief fuss that was made of us all.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 07/01/2014 22:03

I don't blame her although I'm not on fb so wouldn't announce it there. We had no visitors for 2 weeks ( had moved to our new house day before birth though) and had no one visiting hospital. I'd do the same again also. I'm certainly not previous.

Only1scoop · 07/01/2014 22:03

'Precious' Wink

Original poster
allthingsfluffy · 07/01/2014 22:17

To all those who had no visitors for 2 weeks, why did you feel you needed that? I genuinely want to know.

With my second, I said no hospital visitors, as I knew I would be a total state (this never occurred to me with my first) but that wasn't popular with PILs. If I had said two weeks I am not sure what they would have done.

OP posts:
IamInvisible · 07/01/2014 22:22

It's up to them.

When I had DS2, on Christmas Eve, I said no visitors on Christmas Day because no-one wanted to help us out when I was pregnant despite me having very severe SPD and being in a wheelchair, and no-one in my family (including my mum) coming to look after DS1 when I went into labour.

We were sat at home doing presents with DS1, getting him used to DS2, there was a tap on the door and in walked my parents, my sister, my nieces and my BIL. I was fucking fuming, not least with DH's for forgetting to lock the door!

Andanotherthing123 · 07/01/2014 22:26

It is their choice and doesn't really affect friends but I'd have thought close family might find it a bit upsetting. I wouldn't worry if friends of mine did this as in all honesty it takes me ages to arrange to meet up with friends anyway, as my life's got very busy in the last few years.

I liked seeing people after each of my DC were born but I'm pretty social generally. I've had to work hard to persuade MIL to come and stay with us when DC3 is due in 3 weeks as she is lovely and doesn't want to intrude, but I'd like her company!

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 07/01/2014 22:27

Extremely precious. It's only January, FFS!
YANBU.

Weller · 07/01/2014 22:32

At least she has made it clear I've been accused of being selfish for not visiting soon enough so the next family member I phoned to see when they would like a visit and got balled at for phoning with a new born in the house and to give them time, they would let me know. For me as long as it was after labour and clean up I never really cared.

Only1scoop · 07/01/2014 22:34

Just read baby not due til June....I retract ....slightly presh....
Talk about planning ahead.

Alanna1 · 07/01/2014 22:34

Yes - up to them. I didn't want visitors.

BackforGood · 07/01/2014 22:39

YANBU. That really is being very precious.
Quite sad too, IMO, alienating your nearest and deareset at a time when family support is usually most welcomed.

HRHLadyFarquhar · 07/01/2014 22:47

IamInvisible Shock what did you do?

Original poster
allthingsfluffy · 07/01/2014 22:50

Fuck me Iaminvisible even I would have been fuming at that!

OP posts:
WidowWadman · 07/01/2014 22:52

I think her stipulation might be a bit premature. She may also want to have a gander at STFU, Parents.

She'll probably be bored witless after 5 days with just a newborn (for they admittedly do very little) and be yearning for interaction with people who can talk.

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