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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for some positive dog relationships please..

168 replies

Youcanringmybell · 07/01/2014 21:43

I would like to hear about some positive dog stories please.

I have read so much recently about how people get dogs and then get bored of them, the dog becomes aggressive because the owner cannot care for them properly or that not many people cope. I have also read about on irresponsible people buying puppies..not about all the puppies that are bought with love and only the best intentions.

I have recently got a new puppy and took a long while to consider it and was over the moon with the puppy. But since getting her I have been told by different people that her breed will turn nasty, will destroy my home and I will soon get 'bored' of her or she will try me Angry
People are so negative about it all and are making me feel like I made a huge mistake.

So have any of you get a puppy, and keep it all their life and actually enjoy it? I had a puppy from 6mths to 17 years some time ago and he was lovely and barely any trouble once out of puppy hood.

OP posts:
StickyProblem · 08/01/2014 12:19

We are on our second JRT. Our first was with us from a puppy till he died at 16. He was a bit mad, and never got out of the habit of barking at visitors, even though we lived in a flat so he barked at everyone's visitors too Blush he sat on the sofa with us and slept in our bed, he always cuddled up to DP until I was about 8 weeks pregnant and then he just quietly changed sides to look after me.

Our second, now 2, is a Parsons JRT so is slightly bigger, and quite different from the first, so calm and lovely and clever and sensible. When she was tiny there was a shoe chewing issue, but she's fine now. She lives in the kitchen where her crate is. (LOADS of people with JRTs seem to let the first one all over the place and the second one gets more discipline! If you give them an inch they'll take a mile.) We're going to do agility starting in Spring.

Keep them entertained, with affection and walks but also stuff to chew - they gotta chew! Our first was a bit thick but our current lovely girl will do any tricks for a treat.

Check this out, they can learn all sorts! Good luck :)

trafficwarden · 08/01/2014 12:23

These are lovely stories. I grew up on a smallholding with sheep and although our collie was a working dog she lived in the house and was most definitely one of the family. She rounded my sister and I up if we wandered too far and as we got older she used to pick us up from school to guard us on the 1/2 mile walk home! She let us ride on her back like a horse, played ball games until we all collapsed and licked scraped knees and tears over many years. She joined the family as a puppy when I was 2 and she died when I was 19 - so we had 17 years of mutual adoration and I still keep a photo of us together in a special spot.
None of the other dogs (all collies) lasted as long, one was deliberately shot by a neighbor, one was run over, all were sadly missed and have their own doggy cemetery. When I go home now the house seems empty as my mother works odd hours and it's not fair when nobody's there to provide exercise and stimulation. Once I stop working ridiculous hours we will most definitely be sharing our lives with a dog.

TrinityIsAReindeer · 08/01/2014 12:26

I got a white boxer puppy

she has destroyed my house, emptied my pockets of money and I still haven't managed to fully train her

but I luff her, she's my four legged friend for life

she is currently resting her chops on my knee hoping I'll give her the endy of my sandwich that is on the plate next to me

I'm not going to but she always tries the silent beseeching chin on knee thing for a few minutes once I've finished eating Grin

ButThereAgain · 08/01/2014 12:29

Glad you are feeling more positive, Youcanringmybell . It's inevitable that after a big decision like getting a dog you will start to have wobbles, especially if you have some naysayers around you, so I smpathise.

Owning a dog is one of the loveliest things in my life (and growing up with a dog was one of the loveliest things about my childhood). So I'm sure you will have a great time. I have a PRT very similar to JRTs and I would never have a different breed now, having experienced their joyful, perceptive cleverness. They are also quite self-sufficient little dogs: so long as they get all the attention they need each day they are quite happy not to be the centre of attention all the time (in fact I think they like and need some downtime, away from attention), so they fit in well with family life.

Plenty of exercise, plenty of training. Not hard to commit to, because their cleverness makes training very rewarding for both of you. Plenty of well-supervised socialization too, to minimise the problems of snappiness with other dogs.

You'll have a ball!

StickyProblem · 08/01/2014 12:37

What a great phrase ButThereAgain, "their lovely perceptive cleverness". You've got it spot on. Also re their self-sufficient nature. My sister laughed when she came round once and I came into the garden with drinks, then DP came out with snacks, then the dog came out with his chew toy, and he sat with us while doing his own thing.

HaveToWearHeels · 08/01/2014 12:38

Trinity how old is she ?. We found everything seemed to click into place with our boxer when he was about 3. We took him training but he was still nuts, but then it all just fell into place.

ethelhallow · 08/01/2014 12:45

I got my beautiful white golden retriever when I had just got together and moved in with my now dh. She was just a few weeks old and crawling with fleas when we bought her on the street. She chewed up everything in sight at first and as we lived in a flat at the time, had constant accidents on the floor. Neither of us had ever had a dog so we were learning together.

Seeing my then boyfriend's commitment and love towards her and how he stayed up all night with her when she had eaten something she hadn't and was sick, gave me an insight into the kind of father he would be. Now nearly 4 years on, she is a best friend to our toddler, whose job it is to feed her each day and who insists on walking her by herself when we go to the woods. She is calm and tolerant and everyone loves her. We get more comments on her than we ever get about our toddler and baby! When we moved to our house she was really happy to be able to spend lots of time outdoors in the garden and now family walks with the dog are a great way to spend time together and everyone benefits!

sparechange · 08/01/2014 12:52

I grew up with spaniels and jack russells, and when I left home, there was just a big dog shaped hole in my life.

When I was 23/24, I got my first proper house and the first thing I wanted to do was get a dog. Everyone told me I was irresponsible, mad, neglectful. But I went to Battersea, was totally upfront about my circumstances (working full time) and they matched me with a middle-aged staffie gentleman, who was truly a gentleman. He had through no fault of his own already had 3 homes before me, and everyone told me there must be a reason for this, as well as that I was irresponsible, mad etc.

Well yes, he did curtail my social life a bit, but my friends we happy to go to dog-friendly pubs, or accept I would only stay for one. Some years later, when I went through a horrible break up, he knew, and comforted me every step of the way. He knew to ask to go for a walk when I needed fresh air and to clear my head. He knew to look mournfully at the sofa on the nights when I planned to go out but really, really needed a quiet night in.

He was also a great barometer of men. Those who balked when I told them I shared my house with an arthritic staffie, and therefore I wouldn't/couldn't stay out late/stay at theirs were generally to be avoided. The one who gave him a big kiss and helped carry him in and out of the car turned out to be the keeper.

When he was 14, I went on holiday, and he went to stay with my parents while I was away, as he did every year. He loved his country holidays and break from city life.
The day I got back, my parents phoned me with the bad news that he had died that morning. They took him out for his morning walk, and when they let him off in the field for a run, he just had a heart attack and died in front of them.

Even now, 3 dogs later (2 of which have been resuce staffies!) my family still talk about him, and compare all other dogs they meet to him.

The hoodlum reject staffie who everyone warned me would ruin my life ended up pretty much saving it, and made a lot of people reconsider their attitude towards staffies!

BreconBeBuggered · 08/01/2014 13:16

We had a JRT when I was growing up, inheriting him from a young relative who'd been given a puppy as a present but grew bored with the responsibility. He was an amazing dog, who learned very quickly what rules had to be kept when The Master was at home, and happily disregarding them to cuddle up on the furniture with the rest of us as soon as he'd left for work. We all adored him. The only downside was that he would take it into his head to go walkabout by himself every now and again, and although we could read the signs and try to keep him in, he found it laughably easy to outwit us.

Some people can't help but view dogs in a negative light. DH and I have had dogs since we were married, and our elderly terrier was PTS last month. On hearing the news, the ILs immediately responded with 'You won't be getting another one, will you? They're such a tie'. (We have a child still at primary school, which is a tad more of a constraint on our social lives than a small dog.)

rumbleinthrjungle · 08/01/2014 13:29

My cocker spaniel is 15 months old and still doing the teenaged bit - selective deafness, wildly over excited by the slightest thing - but is a complete sweetheart and companion, and what I love about dogs maturing is that your relationship just gets stronger and stronger every week.

She's clever, she needs keeping busy, as a puppy there were days when it was like having a toddler stuffed with blue smarties and tartrazine, she needed compulsory nap times like a baby did and was horrible when she got overtired. But all the training play is just starting to pay off, she's getting a lot calmer and more mature, and frankly when she's so delighted that it's morning, or that I've just come home, or when she's crashed out with her head on my lap in the evening, I think I love this little dog so much.

MissBetseyTrotwood · 08/01/2014 13:37

No dogs perfect. Mine hates other dogs but is soft as butter with humans. He's a rescue and so, so cuddly. He's not a popular pet breed and we get loads of negativity from other owners!

MissBetseyTrotwood · 08/01/2014 13:38

I just nod and look as though I'm listening. But I'm really thinking what I'm going to have for my dinner.

TrinityIsAReindeer · 08/01/2014 13:46

havetowearheels, she will be 2 in july Grin

HaveToWearHeels · 08/01/2014 13:50

Ah still a baby then, she will get calmer although always a little bit nuts The food thing never changes Grin

LadyRabbit · 08/01/2014 13:52

Aw this might be my favourite EVER thread on MN, but then I am a soppy bugger when it comes to dogs, and especially JRTs. My parents (who had previously only ever had JRTs) ended up with two Maltese terriers and two cats and had to fight for a space on their sofa. However, (and this made me howl when they told me) when their older Maltese girl finally shuffled off, they found her gone when they came down in the morning, but surrounded by the other dog and the two cats who had kept vigil over her in her final hours.

If you love these creatures, treat them well, exercise them like mad and give them affection they will repay you thousand fold. And they never dump you when they get a new man or post on AIBU to have a gossip about you! Grin

candycoatedwaterdrops · 08/01/2014 14:03

I was very depressed, suicidal and at the end of my rope about 5 years ago. I was in and out of a psychiatric hospital and had made a serious attempt on my life that was nearly successful. I had tried everything to get myself well but I remained a mess. Someone suggested that a dog might lift my spirits. I researched and researched, focused all my energies on it and found a wonderful breeder who had personal experience of MH issues, we got along so well and spent many hours on the phone. I had my heart set on the dog that we spoke about on the phone; the runt of the litter who sounded so sweet.

I went to visit the breeder and her puppies when the pups were about 6 weeks old. The puppy I was expecting to get was very sweet but one of the other pups took a liking to me, he sat on my lap, licked my hand and face and refused to move. I fell in love. We truly chose each other.

Having a puppy really helped me get back into the world. It gave me a reason to get out of bed, to speak to other humans, to be responsible for something, to have something to live for.

He's 5 now and he's fucking amazing. Hard work? Yes but he's full of love and we adore each other. I am 99.9% mentally well now, at university, working, socialising, HAPPY. I credit my little dude for sitting by side and I've travelled this road.

kippersmum · 08/01/2014 14:09

I have a 16 week old Collie puppy. He can be very hard work but he is a joy to be around. I love the way we have to go for walks twice a day regardless of the weather, & I have found that my DD's have also really benefited from a walk with the dog after school. It seems to give them the mental space to decompress and their behaviour has improved. We start puppy / owner training classes tomorrow :)

Kasterborous · 08/01/2014 14:15

Thanks for starting this thread OP. I've been sat reading it with a big grin on my face all these posts about lovely loyal dogs. Miss ours so much, but she was our companion for 13 years, especially mine as DH was away quite a lot. Only look back with big smiles on our faces. We got some lovely photos of her with DD too. Smile

Youcanringmybell · 08/01/2014 14:25

More lovely dog stories Smile

My pup is currently in my arm crook snoring after an hours play and 3 wee visits to the garden (exhausting in itself!)

I am happy and so enjoy reading these stories. I hope it will be me and Penny one day that share a bond like this Thanks

OP posts:
betty10k · 08/01/2014 14:25

We have had our JRT cross from a puppy and he is truly part of our family. He goes to work everyday with my husband, he unfortunately has a problem with being a bit aggressive/barking a lot at other dogs (never encouraged by us) but is the most loving animal i've ever seen with our 18 month old baby (we don't leave them unattended though). They adore each other. I've never had a dog before, my husband has always had one, but i think ever animal is different and your puppy will be a big part of your life/family and a great companion.

GhostsInSnow · 08/01/2014 14:29

When DD was 2 and a bit we deemed her old enough to have a friend. We were chosen by a little Westie, the runt of the litter and he came home. They became fast friends and were always together:

DD (aged 3) and Bob

As the years passed DD grew up and Bob grew old but they remained inseparable:

DD (aged 16) and Bob

When Bob became suddenly ill in November we knew it was time to say goodbye. DD held him at the end and it occurred to us she couldn't remember a life without that little dog. Our home was empty and DD was completely lost.

On the saturday before Christmas we welcomed Murphy Moriarty McManus the Scottie dog (or just Murphy for short) into our home. DD is thrilled and whilst she misses Bob immensely Murphy is there for walks and cuddles and everything she has been used to all her life.

Murphy

She'll never forget Bob, almost every childhood photo shows them together but now she can think about him and smile.

anchovies · 08/01/2014 14:33

What a lovely idea for a thread op!

We have two rescue labs, one is sensible, loyal and well-behaved and the other is quite frankly bonkers. I love them both to bits though. They fit into our family perfectly - it melted my heart for example when my youngest had fallen asleep in front of the fire on Christmas eve snuggled between the two of them!

Dh and I have gone from being utter dog haters to smitten in the space of three years

anchovies · 08/01/2014 14:35

Honey - your pics have me in tears! I'm so glad your dd has Murphy, her and Bob look like they had a very special bond :)

melika · 08/01/2014 14:35

A house is not a home with out a dog. I know that's my opinion but I would feel lost without that little someone lying by my feet. Even though he is in my bad books today. I put huge pile of old meat for the crows on the front garden, he managed (age 13) to get through fence and eat the lot. He's very quiet now! God bless him.

pandaptogether · 08/01/2014 14:42

we have a JRT x springer he is great. We got him for our son when he was 8 and he has taken nearly full responsibility for him. He feeds him, plays with him they cuddle up together take him on holiday with us and he picks up the poo. he loves his dog and i dont think we could be without him now. We run him around on the beach adn he loves chancing the seagulls. Did go to puppy classes though and i think that give my boy confidence in handling him