To actually be really hurt by this comment.

[fluffyduckie]

One of the girls at work got engaged on Christmas Day - super pleased for her as she is lovely and they adore each other. Just really happy that they are happy if that makes sense.

One of the women in the office took it upon herself to point out that I am 3 years older than the one that got engaged and that I am still firmly on the shelf.

She has a habit of making digs and nasty comments and everyone either looks away or laughs along with her.

I am single and older and I would love to meet someone and get married but it just hasn't happened.

I don't know whether this is making me over sensitive and imagining that she knew this would be a weak spot for me or if she just made a comment not knowing that I really do not like being called a spinster!

Ooo! I just remembered what I said to bitch aunt when she tried to humiliate me at a family gathering:

She, in a loud voice so all could hear "Oh dear me still no sign of a ring on your finger? Oh well, at least you have your work" (pitying glance)...to which I replied in a louder, Brian Blessed voice:

"Get married? Why would I do that? I'm having far too much casual sex".

There was such an open mouthed silence you could hear the Earth spin.

Don't be cowed by her OP, take the fucker down. How dare she try to make you feel small?

@ Littlegreyauditor Excellent.

Yes, OP, do that

I detest this trait in others. Inadequate asshole.

Yep, me too. Snipy, bitchy, pass remarkable harpies. Slap them back into their box with sufficient vigour and enjoy the simple pleasure of them never speaking to you again.

Please please please use littlegreyauditors frankly genius response. What a horrible woman.

I like Blithereens' response!

Hang on, this woman keeps a running tally of the respective ages and marital statuses of all her colleagues for the express purpose of pointing out that in her opinion by age x you should be in marital status y???

She's beyond a tragedy. Pity her, and imagine her poring over her little spreadsheet at night!

Ms LT

no point rushing in and ending up divorced

genius - really do it - say that to her and raise your voice slightly on 'DIVORCED' and look straight at her when you say that word.

I also like Blithereeens response.

Or say 'Oh how last century you are'

failing all that though I would go to your management or union because joking apart this is workplace bullying and under the health and safety at work act your employer has a duty to protect you from that.

Kick her in the fanny! How bloody rude of her.

How rude, did she say anything today?

Not "left on the shelf" because you're a person not a commodity.

How ridiculous. I can't believe there are women younger than about 80 who still think like this - ie that getting married as young as possible is some kind of achievement.

I second the 'Is this the 19th century?' comeback!

My mil 50ish) made lots of similar comments to my bils single female friends all in their mid thirties. Despite their obvious discomfiture on she ploughed ending with the finale "aren't your mothers upset that you are still single?". And she wonders why she hasn't got a single female friend...

"Well yes, you know, I only want to get married once" is a bit subtler.

Next time she says it just laugh and say "No harm being on the shelf once someone takes you down every now and then and gives you a good dusting ;)"

I feel bad for you having to work with her.its easy to say dont let her get to you but its very hard isn't it!

Some people only understand violence. What about a run-up and then a really hard kick up her arse? You'd have to do it when no one was watching and then deny it furiously. But I think you'd get away with it! Mind you if she's that awful there's probably going to be a queue of people waiting for their go!

Loving the 'dusting'!

And, of course, it is the very highest shelf ...

She sounds bitter, unhappy and out to make others the same - you seem to have become an easy target for her so start calling her out on it.

Loads of brilliant responses on here but i think you should just tell her how hurtful you find her and that you understand she's maybe resentful how her life's turned out but putting you down won't change her circumstances. Sometimes only the cold, hard, brutal truth will do.

And stop thinking of yourself as on the shelf - that's crap, it is not Downtown abbey - you think that way people (like this mare) will treat you that way.

oh, YANBU

What a bitch. Ignore her. You sound lovely.

I think violence is the only answer, a short sharp kick in the fanny.

If her life was so fabulous she wouldn't be wasting time trying to out you down.

She probably sees you having a nice time and wants to be a bit sour about it.

Is her husband a chump?

slatecross,that is one of the funniest answers to dealing with a horrible person ever!,please fluffy do this, to the nasty piece of work.

Definitely not unreasonable. It can be extremely hurtful being made to feel crap about not having been lucky enough to find the right person to settle down with. This is all the more so when you've based your hopes and dreams around doing just that. People should put their brain in gear before speaking out like she did to you. On the other hand though, you will meet this from time to time, so best to try and get at least slightly thick-skinned about it if possible.