To think its a big fat lie that parenting gets easier as your dc get older?

[sparklysilversequins]

My dc are 10 and 7 and tbh it's harder now than it ever was when they were babies! I am as tired now at the end of the day as I was when they were five months old and not sleeping.

Admittedly I am a lone parent but while they are awake I rarely sit down. School run, activities, play dates, keeping entertained at the weekend and after school, dog walking, housework, general admin, OU degree.

It doesn't get easier at all, everyone fibbed, I look in the mirror and I look ancient and stressed all the time. Don't get me wrong I adore my kids and wouldn't change anything, it's just such hard work and not what I had been led to believe!

I'm doing a degree in "childhood and youth studies" Dotty. Thanks for asking , also doing a course with IPSEA on SEN in schools as both my dc have ASD so I wanted to be as well informed as possible, however I may have bitten off more than I can chew!

I am a lone mum, have pets and am doing an OU degree. DS is 5. SO much easier than when he was small. Total doddle in fact. Phew. Finally.

My 2 year old is much harder work than my 7 year old.
And with my eldest, I really felt 3 was a turning point, when he became more independent life became easier.
I'm sure the teenage years will be difficult emotionally, but in terms of having time to do the things I want to do (like have a bath alone), it's easier when they're older.

I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I have found most stages hard work but nothing compares to the sheer desperation of the first few months with my first.
I can well imagine that older ages will bring their own challenges and heartache but at least (hopefully) I will be dealing with them on more than 2 hours sleep a night!

Oh, I meant to add:
When I visited work after ds1 was born, a colleague gleefully said 'it just gets harder'. That was the last thing I needed to hear. He was colicky and hardly slept; I really was shellshocked. I decided not to believe her and thankfully she was wrong.

In a few months time, I won't have to do the school run ever again and I am already counting down the days

Oh my god I'm so jealous, I'll be finished in 4.5 years & I'm already planning a mini party

I found the early years the hardest because of the physicalness of it all, I cope with the emotion stuff in the teenage years much better.

With DD2 (13) I could have coped with the physical stuff because she was a calm, amenable toddler and she still is like that at 13. The other 2 DDs were more difficult in their younger years so everything was a battle and I found that very, very difficult to cope with. DD1 (17) was difficult until she was 12 but the teenage years have been a breeze in comparison. DD3 (6) is getting easier.

I was complaining about my two year old to a friend who has teenagers. She said "I'm sorry, I know I'm supposed to tell you it gets easier, but just wait till they get to the age when they are capable of ripping out your heart, stamping on it, and then squeezing lemon juice into the gaping wound, just to make sure it really hurts"!

Just been thinking, and I wonder if it's because babies are quite simply more likeable?

They don't snigger at each other when you ask them to sit quietly, they don't answer back or argue over every. single. bloody. thing, they don't slag off your cooking and they don't denounce any attempt at conversation that doesn't involve Monster fucking High as BORRRRRRRRR-RRRRRRRRRRING!!!!!!!!

Yes, definitely much more work as they get older - maybe because I feel so terribly sorry for them having to do so much work and so I am uber kind to compensate them! I am constantly making favourite meals and loading the fridge with favourite food and being ever smily and available to listen. V v time and energy consuming!

Oh god, all of my illusions have just been shattered... Gets harder, really? [goes off to sob in corner and drink wine]

From all that I have heard and read on Mumsnet, I think teenage years are probably the most stressful and wearing.

ah but once you've done the school run you know where they are - safely in school!

Just wait until they are off to Magaluf with their mates for the first time, or off to Glastonbury - or even better - to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam on their gap year... sometimes you'll long for them to be screaming toddlers because at least you'll know they are safe screaming toddlers

no, they dont saucyjack, but they are fully capable of keeping you awake all hours, shredding your nipples to bits, throw up after every feed, leak poo, leak wee, force you to plan your every minute around their need for sleep, make you lug heavy baby bags and car seats and pushchairs evrywehere, decide to become ill when its your one night out, scribble everywhere, smear and fling food..

Indeed.

I have teenagers and toddlers at the same time...

Mine are 9 and 11 - there are challenges aplently that weren't there when they were little, but for me nothing is as hard as little kids who clamour constantly for attention, don't sleep well, go through phases of eating only bread sticks, can't tell you what is wrong when they are ill (anxiety inducing!), can't be relied upon to behave appropriately in public (as older children can be) and will cause noise and disruption in restaurants etc and can't keep still (at least mine couldn't when they were small) occasioning steely glares from others, demand mind numbing trips to soft play / the park, insist on playing with finger paints and other messy craft activities etc and make an ungodly mess when they eat

My two can be a pain - especially with sibling rivalry and fighting, and its their extra curricular stuff is very time consuming but it is so much easier than when they were tiny

I know that Sherazade- mine didn't come out aged 7&8........

But none of the baby stuff is a deliberately aimed personally insult in the way that it is with older kids.

(And yes- I don't doubt there are parents of teenagers reading this and laughing fondly at the days when moaning about dinner was the worst they came out with)

sorry, saucyjack, didn't mean to sound patronising. 7 and 8 year old here too, i guess i'd just take the ingratitude and the squabbling and the answering back over the unintentional baby stuff any day!

ElaClaw I did too, that's when I realised that teenagers are not all that bad after all

Then, maybe the easiest years are 3 -11...

For me, it has definitely become easier as they have got older. Having two under 2 (and a 10yo) was quite simply the hardest period of parenthood imo. Just the sheer relentlessness of it all, the sleep deprivation, the never having a quiet moment to myself, and never just being able to grab my coat and bag and pop out to the shops without having to wrestle coat-refusers into car seats.

Mine are now 16, 6 and 5 - and I'm loving this time of parenthood. I'm fortunate, my teenager is cheerful, helpful around the house, and does well at school (long may all that last!), and my younger two are out of nappies, buggies and tantrums. They do bicker a fair bit, but I find that much more manageable than the baby years and 'terrible threes'.

Maybe I find it easier as I'm not one to do these "endless activities" that I hear others talk of. My elder two do one club each weekly, nothing yet for my youngest. The teenager does her own 'weekend entertainment', and can organise pretty much everything herself socially. I don't do an awful lot in the way of weekend entertainment for the younger two, unless there's something in particular on. It's usually out for walks, to the park, visit to Granny's, etc. I don't believe it making life harder than it has to be!

I'm with you on that one Jock! I am pretty lazy about activities and such. Ds(7) does one thing a week, and I sometimes remember to help with homework. In fact, at weekends, we are often in a room together doing totally separate things-him reading/drawing, me MN ing or writing, or cooking, and we barely speak to one another (but in a content sort of way).
I do expect help from him at this age. He folds laundry, and tidies his room (and that has been a struggle sometimes) and helps carry shopping bags. I am probably quite hard on him, but I never feel I have to entertain him.
We do play lego together and have discos in the dining room sometimes (even though ds would rather i didn't actually dance!) but tbh I love this age. I am relishing it until 11/12, when he will immediately hate me and not want to be with me!
My house is none too tidy, but I don't care too much. I do have the one child though (despite pressure from ds to adopt him a sibling!)
Maybe just let it all go to hell a bit, don't worry too much about it. If your dc are loved, warm and fed, and can come to you in a crisis, you are doing fine.
Good luck with the OU degree, and don't forget that you, as the head of the household, come first

IfNotNowThenWhen My teens don't hate me and not want to be with me. I think it's a teen stereotype so there's hope for everyone