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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's strange that the school is doing this?

55 replies

summersblue · 07/01/2014 11:51

My sister who is 14 and is in Year 10 has told me recently that a new thing has come in where at lunch time they have to have a pudding with their meal. When I asked what she meant, she told me that until September you would get your meal (the main, potato item and veg) and then you could choose to have a pudding if you wanted to but if you didn't want one that was fine.

However she said this September it all changed and now it has become compulsory to have a pudding with it. Even if you tell the dinner ladies you don't want one, they won't let you leave and pay until you pick one. My sister has always had quite a small appetite, ever since she was a baby and doesn't really like having a pudding. She likes to just have her meal and that's it and she's always been this way.

I told her just to take the pudding but not actually eat it and she says that's what she would normally do except if a teacher catches you taking your tray away and you haven't eaten it, they will send you back and not let you go until you've eaten it. This has only happened to her once apparently even though she'd eaten all her main meal and kept telling the teacher she was full and didn't want any more. She still sent her back though and she had to eat it. The kids who don't want pudding tend to just sneak away away when nobody is looking but sometimes people will still be caught and sent back.

I can't be the only one who thinks this is odd. Fine have pudding for those who want it but to make people who don't want it have some seems a bit too much. Sending them back to eat it too seems especially over the top. The puddings are apparently quite stodgy too - cake and custard, etc. There's seldom any choice to have something lighter like fruit or jelly.

Is this common practice in schools these days?

OP posts:
ukatlast · 07/01/2014 12:02

I don't believe anyone can force a 14 year old to eat anything...dinner ladies in the 1960s used to try and fail with 5 year olds...she can simply refuse to eat it and it sounds like someone needs to speak to the Head pronto.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 07/01/2014 12:02

Sounds a little strange. Probably best to ask the school what the reason is for the policy. You never know, they may have some sweeping craze of disordered eating ...

WorraLiberty · 07/01/2014 12:05

Sounds like she's having you on

summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:07

My sister is quite shy and doesn't have very high self esteem so when she was sent back to eat it she just did it. She told the teacher she was full and didn't want it but she would never argue beyond that. I should have also said that some people do just refuse to listen to the teachers and dinner ladies and will happily leave the pudding if they don't want it, they will ignore any requests to come back for it.

OP posts:
pudcat · 07/01/2014 12:07

So are they having to pay extra for a pudding they do not want or is it included in the price of the main meal?

ukatlast · 07/01/2014 12:07

What Worra said but also it may be a misunderstanding on teachers' part as in they have to take a pudding as it is included in the cost of the meal but trust me no way on earth can she be forced to eat it...in a UK state school.

DameDeepRedBetty · 07/01/2014 12:08

I'd be very surprised if there's more than a tiny bit of truth in this story.

DameDeepRedBetty · 07/01/2014 12:08

xposted

ukatlast · 07/01/2014 12:09

At most Junior schools the price of the meal includes a main, pudding and drink but Senior is more often pay per item.

NigellasDealer · 07/01/2014 12:10

umm IME nobody gives a toss what people in year 10 are choosing for their lunch, and teachers and 'dinner ladies' forcing people to eat things is simply untrue.

ErrolTheDragon · 07/01/2014 12:10

Sounds very odd. My DD's school has 'meal deals' which include a dessert but certainly not compulsory.

If it is some sledgehammer approach to tackling eating disorders it won't work and there are more health problems due to overweight than underweight so this seems extraordinary.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 07/01/2014 12:10

I don't think it's common practice.

Phone the school and ask them about it.

summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:12

It's included in the price of the meal. That's the excuse the dinner ladies are using - since it's included you might as well eat it. However it's always been included and they've never insisted on having one before.

WorraI had thought about that, but I've also asked two of her friends and they've confirmed it. They will often eat pudding though so they're not fussed by it. My mum is going to be phoning the school so we will find out for sure whether it's really true.

OP posts:
ukatlast · 07/01/2014 12:15

summersblue - it worries me that people aged under 50 seem to have so little concept of their human rights in the UK. Of course she can't be forced to eat anything by school.

kinkyfuckery · 07/01/2014 12:15

Is your sister by any chance not wanting to eat much in the evenings as "she had a full meal and pudding at school"?

ukatlast · 07/01/2014 12:15

Since it is included you might as well eat it, is not the same as you must eat it...

diddl · 07/01/2014 12:16

Sounds like bollocks, doesn't it?

I wonder if funding will be cut if puddings aren't taken at all?

Seems an absolute waste to take a pudding with no intention of eating it & it certainly skews things!

summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:16

I never said they forced them to eat the pudding. Just that if you were caught leaving without eating it, they would tell you to go back. Obviously lots of students ignore this and refuse to go back. They obviously wouldn't force you to eat it.

I should add if this had happened when I was at school, I would have laughed and refused to eat it if I didn't want it.

My sister has actually been taking a packed lunch anyways since she started back.

OP posts:
summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:17

Started back this week I mean.

OP posts:
summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:26

Can I just clarify a few things? It's the dinner ladies who tell them that as they're paying for it, they have to take a pudding. They refuse to let them pay for their meal until they pick a pudding. It's the teachers who will send them back if they see you haven't eaten it (obviously that doesn't work on most students though).

Is your sister by any chance not wanting to eat much in the evenings as "she had a full meal and pudding at school"?

No. She's said that even though she takes the pudding she's actually only ever eaten it once. That was when a teacher sent her back.

My mum is off work today and she said she was going to try and phone the school to find out what's going on.

OP posts:
sparechange · 07/01/2014 12:32

Is fruit an option as a pudding?
Take an apple or banana, stash it in her pocket or bag?

Or, give her pudding to a friend with a bigger appetite? We had militant dinner ladies in my school who would stand by the tray return bit and make us finish things, so we had a couple of greedy rugby boys in our friendship group who would minesweep any significant leftovers for us!

TheEponymousGrub · 07/01/2014 12:39

OP, you actually did say they forced them to eat the pudding. You said:
they will send you back and not let you go until you've eaten it
and
She still sent her back though and she had to eat it.

Do you think they hold the kids hostage until they've eaten it AAAAALL up?

Electryone · 07/01/2014 12:45

I don't get why fruit isn't an option?

summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:46

Yes, but they don't force feed you. Wink I suppose you could just sit there and refuse to eat it anyways? Or just completely ignore them and leave anyways? They're hardly going to drag you back, are they? I imagine most people actually ignore them.

OP posts:
summersblue · 07/01/2014 12:49

You can get fruit (which my sister likes) but there's often not a lot to choose from and it doesn't always look appetizing (I imagine she means it's not fresh enough for her, which I think is reasonable. I'm fussy with fruit too)

Anyways I'm going to text my mum and see if she's got any more information on this because I do find it strange.

OP posts:
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