i am worried thanks to a woman in a shop

[technicallychallenged]

Background: I was putting the Xmas decorations away in the attic the other day. Usually DH does it because he is taller and he can see were to put things. But he was complaining so he held the ladder and I did it. But as I pushed the tree up the box slid down and DH panicked and dropped the ladder. The ladder fell sideways and I went with it. I hit the side of the wooden cupboard with my head and I now have a bruise and a black eye.

So today I was out shopping with the DCs and DH and a woman who lives a few doors away from me and I sort of know to wave at, walked up to me and asked what happened I explained and she said said that my DH must have done it. DH was around the corner with the DCs. He heard me talking so came to see who it was. She saw he and started say here he is the wife beater. I told her she was wrong and to mind her own business and walked out the shop.

But now I am worried that everyone is going to think that. I have to do the school run etc tomorrow and it hadn't occurred to me that someone would think that DH has hit me even after I explained to them. The woman has a DC at the school and I am worried she is going to tell everyone he has been hitting me, or she may tell the school and try and get SS involved.

So WWYD do I tell the school in advance in case she does go to them. We had a pretty shit 2013 and I was really hoping to make this year a happier one.

Ooops this should have been in chat sorry.

Go and tell the woman that if she slanders your husband she will be hearing from your lawyer?

Was she saying it in a jokey way or a serious way? I would just ignore her. SS would not be interested if somone called to say her neighbour had a black eye and with no other evidence said she thought the DH did it, despite been told different. They would think she was a nosey loon! (I am a SW btw).

I think you were just unfortunate to run into a woman that is a certain type of crazy, and you have no need to worry so much.

It wouldn't even occur to me to assume domestic violence just because someone had a bruise.

Just ignore!

Tell everyone else who asks what really happened. Of course people will believe you - it's the TRUTH

... also try to be a bit pleased that these days people do look askance on black eyes etc, not so long ago they were ignored as "none of my business" ... however she should not push it.

She sounds like a loon.

Don't worry if you have noticed, others will have too.
I don't think one black eye and teh lack of any other indicators would worry anyone unduly. Accidents do happen. Repeated accidents, combined with signs of distress or withdrawal in your children would (probably) make people take notice.

I can't believe your dh dropped the ladder!
The woman is a lunatic though.

If she says anything they're just going to pull this face:

You fell off a ladder. It's hardly an unbelieveable tale.

She sounds like a right prick.

Haha, sorry, I do believe you obviously. I sounded as bad as slander woman for a minute there

to put your mind at ease, I'd make a point of telling people what happened amongst the school.

A black eye and refusing to talk about how it happened does seem to make my mind jump to DV.

But op, why are you so worried? Being really really careful here, but is there any truth in it? Making you scared someone would find out? I'm asking only because I was in an abusive marriage and I would have been terrified if I thought someone had guessed.
Sorry if I'm off track. I'm just getting anxiety from your post and would hate someone to go unsupported. Please take it the way it's meant.

It's okay I can't believe the bastard dropped the ladder as well. He only had one bloody job to do.

No she didn't say it in a joking way she was pointing and shouting when she saw DH.

Poor you!

Quite a few years ago now I dislocated my collar bone. A friend of my dh thought dh had hurt me and accused him directly. It was horrible. Fortunately when the accident happened we had friends with us and together we made a big effort to spread the truth around.

I know my dh was massively upset by the whole episode though.

nerfmother it's okay to ask and no DH does not abuse me and he still feels bad for dropping the ladder (not that I'm letting him forget it). But I was abused as a child and I guess I am also a bit worried that if there was an investigation it may get brought up again, and I would hate the thought of DH being branded an abuser and having our DCs life turned upside down because of it.

If you were going to make up a cover story, is there any chance of making that up? It sounds true, just by virtue of being quite an odd way of injuring yourself. Ignore the woman, she doesn't know your DH. People who matter to you do know your DH.

You will be fine. I feel your pain, a box dropped off a wardrobe on to my cheek bone and gave me a back eye, it was embarrassing because no matter what I said, people were suspicious and the more I denied it, the more they looked at me.

In a way it's nice that people care, it will be over soon and people will have better thins to gossip about.

Some people just jump to conclusions about this sort of thing.

Years ago dh had a cyst removed from his eyebrow- it left him with a bit of a black eye for a week or so. He suffered endless ribbing at work and in shops about the supposed 'fight' he had been in. Noone would believe him.

I had a black eye a few weeks ago because I actually walked into a door lol it's so stupid because as soon as you say that people always assume the worst (probably doesn't help that I'm on crutches atm due to spd lol)
I'm a naturally clumsy person but as soon as people see marks they go looney :-) don't worry about it too much x

Yes DH was very upset by the woman and is worried he might run into her again.

Years ago I walked into a wall in my flat on the way to the loo in the middle of the night - resulting in a black eye and a very bruised cheek.
The following day my tutor group (I was teaching in an all girls' school) was having a talk from the police domestic violence team. The police officer was passing around pictures of women who had been beaten up by partners etc. He told the class that many women claim to have walked into walls when questioned about their injuries - cue 30 little heads turning to face me. 'Miss, that's what you said happened to you!'

I feel your pain too, my DNephew once jumped up sharply when I was helping him on with his sandals, gave me a proper shiner. A neighbour and the lady behind the counter both asked if DH had done it. I felt awful every time I went out until it healed. Make up and sunglasses, and confidently explain what did happen if asked. Hope it is better soon, 2014 is going to be a better year I'm sure x

I've had two black eyes in my life. Both times dh punched me. Both times it was accidental. Thankfully, people who know us didn't question it at all. I suppose in hindsight, people at the school gates might have wondered what had happened or speculated but anybody who knows us believed immediately that it was nothing.

Just try and steer clear of the woman. Hope your eye is better soon.

Why would you think that this woman is going to talk to school and social services about you? And why would you think that they would believe her over you?? Grip???

She sounds crazy. I don't think anyone would take her seriously.

I understand how you feel

Years ago I went to the docs my face was swollen and black eye it just appeared over night I walked in to his room and right away he thought my DH had beat me up!! Started talking about woman's aid blah blah blah before I could even begin to talk, he felt a right dick when I explained that it appeared over night and he had a look and it was an abscess in my mouth!!
Walking around I felt like everyone was staring think she's been beat up

So yip the woman is a dick! Hope it clears up soon