AIBU to think its Plain old sexism on many women's Part

[Sadoldbag]

Sick to death or reading threads and hearing from oh who is a nurse say such and such asked for a female nurse because they feel more at ease with a woman looking at there fanjo only for a male doctor to walk in and look at there fanjo

Am I right to feel this is plain old Conspiracy of professionalism

If you don't want a male nurse fair play but what about the male paramedic, doctor , Anesthesiologist and male scrub nurse in the theatre who will see your bloody fanjo ffs

Also oh informs me about 80% gynecologists are male my oh works in a hospital were none of the gynecologists are female

So I really can't understand why you would let a male doctor see your fanjo but not a male nurse

Or have I gone mad

OP maybe they are not "happy" with a male doctor but there is no alternative. I find it pretty shocking that there are no women gynaes about much of the time. Partly because I think all people should have a choice in this matter, and partly because it sounds very 1950s that the profession apparently continues to be so male dominated.

And whilst I do not think it is remotely weird for a man to be interested in women's reproductive medicine, surely everyone knows that gyane/obs has a lot of well dodgy history in terms of male doctors exploiting, silencing and even harming women patients. I don't believe those attitudes disappear from a profession overnight - I was on a thread in Health today which mentioned a bunch of gynae regs discovered to be running a "vagina of the week" competition on their ward eg.

I don't think it would bother me. I haven't had any medical person checking anything since I had endometrial ablasion years ago but it always was women without me asking.

The gynaecologist and anaesthetist were men but I was unconscious.

FreudiansSlipper no I have only been on here since just before Christmas

Oh tells me this happens to him often and I was just wondering why someone wouldn't want a male nurse but would have a male doctor who is performing just as intermit examinations.

Who cares? Just pity the poor bugger whose job it is to look up fanjos all day.

Also I personally don't have a problem with a male HCP examining me or doing whatever. I want th kindest and most experienced person available and I don't care who that is.

But - and I wonder if other women find the same? - I have found male HCP in the UK to be a bit weird about female patient nudity or intimate exams and that makes me uncomfy.

Examples include a male GP blushing and acting nervous when I asked for a smear, a male surgeon apologising for being "sordid" when asking if I could be pg and also warning me I was likely to be embarrassed when he performed a certain procedure, and a male theatre nurse making awkward "jokes" when I was going under GA and my gown slipped down, showing my breast.

All these men were very nice and clinically competent but their own obvious discomfort made me feel weird, and I didn't want to deal with that at a scary moment.

because there are fewer doctors about

if you are seeing a consultant well you are aware that there will not be many around with their knowledge or if you want to wait for a woman consultant in the same area you may be waiting a long time

nurses do not have the same qualifications and there is more of them

OP, if your OH is a caring nurse surely he wouldn't want to force a women to be examined by him just so he doesn't feel discriminated about. It's not like he's looking at hands or feet!

That's true GhanaGirl.. It's not the nurses' feelings that should be prioritised here.

"my oh works in a hospital were none of the gynecologists are female"

Aren't you answering your own question here? The patients don't have the option of a female gynaecologist but can choose a female nurse.

Is it really a huge problem? Does he work on a gynae/antenatal ward so that fanjo peering is a daily occurance? I can't think of many reasons why nurses vs doctors/consultants/midwives would need to look.

Good point Porto . OP what kind of ward does your OH work on?

Smear tests/cervix/oncology issues would seem to be the main ones to me. I spent 2 weeks on the ante natal ward and no-one needed to look up my fanjo once. There was a male midwife though. He was lovely.

A lot of women don't want to be examined by male HCPs because of a past history of rape or abuse, not to mention other cultural reasons. Is this really hard to understand? Someone has to wait a few more minutes for an examination Vs a victim of sexual assault not being further traumatised - no contest, surely.

Also, your argument is really poorly written thought-out, as most women who do not want to be examined by a male HCP will make this clear beforehand, so the argument that it causes loas of waiting and hassle is redundant. But again, even if it does, see my points above.

Mind your own bloody business and have some respect for other women's feelings. Sister.

Errr... what threads here? I haven't seen any! (Disclaimer, I've blocked some parts of the site, but even so, I doubt that was being discussed in Baby Names...)

Maybe your OH is a creep and it is him specifically that they don't want examining them?

I always ask for a female GP now because I got fed up of men telling me that "mild discomfort" during your period is normal, when I was in so mich pain (from undiagnosed endometriosis) that I used to shit myself (ahem. TMI, sorry) My female GP gave me a Mirena and it changed my life. I want the person helping me to have the same equipment.

I always ask for a female for my smear test....after the male doctor who positively rammed the speculum up my fanjo with a brisk " just try and relax won't you" when I yelped.
Didn't mind the male midwife or male consultant when on the maternity ward, but the male consultant who did the needle biopsy when I had a breast lump was vile, arrogant and totally rude. Too scared to say anything at the time unfortunately.
The point of all this waffle is please understand why some of us prefer a female HCP, but will accept a male if necessary.

Male doctor who was doing my laparoscopy was rude, said "oh, you're the one that was crying" (yes, because I'd just been told my blood tests were very high for an ovarian cancer marker) and when I came round I had bruises on my belly - fingers and thumb - which I assume were from him deflating me. I suppose it's sexist to extrapolate from that experience, but I still prefer women hcps.

Casmama - that was a horrible thing to say.

Last time I had an internal, it was by a male and it didn't hurt one it. I told him that he was either very gentle or I now have a fanjo like a wizards sleeve after childbirth.

Frankly, was more worried that my feet might smell a bit than whether it was a male or female rooting around in my lady bits!

In 20-odd years, I've only ever been offered a smear test with a female doctor or nurse, but it doesn't actually bother me. I have had an internal exam with a male doctor, and he called in a female nurse anyway, which I assume was to protect against any accusations of harassment or anything. I don't actually care who looks at me, as long as they're qualified and competent, but I have a pretty high embarrassment threshold.

The female consultant who did a needle biopsy on me about 10 years ago did really need to work on her bedside manner, but I put that down to a personal failing rather than being male or female. I think she was trying to lighten the mood and be funny, but it was not the time to joke about just how small my breasts are.

I can't say I care all that much what sex of nurse/doctor people prefer looking at their bits to be honest...

EBearhug, words actually fail me. All these stories....they make some women even more terrified and mortified about seeing a doctor. I used to have a lot of male medic friends when I was about 19/20 What I used to hear them saying about women's bodies they had seen has affected me ever since, the little pricks

I agree about the embarrassment thing. I had a problem with my breast and the male doctor was so embarrassed it was awful. He went red, said "I'll have to get a chaperone" then stood 4 foot away from me and didn't touch my breast at all. In the end I just looked helplessly at the (female) nurse and thankfully she stepped in and had a good old poke. That guy was totally unprofessional.

Also the breast surgeon I saw left me sitting there topless with leaking boobs (I wad bfing) while he talked to me. It didn't seem to occur to him that I might want to put my bra back on. I had to ask him to stop talking and hand me my bra (which was behind him). Idiot. Plus he hadn't a clue how bfing works.

My experience of male hcps when it comes to women's stuff is that they might know the technical stuff but their lack of personal understanding really shows.

OP the reason your dp's patients might not want him is not because he's a man but because he's the type of hcp I've encountered - no personal understanding. If he'd ratherwomen be uncomfortable or even possibly traumatised to save him hassle then he's not much of a nurse IMO.