To think I shouldn't have to add work people to my Facebook if I don't want to

[Normalisavariantofcrazy]

I got pulled aside today by my team leader that I'm 'not being very team spirited' because I don't attend team nights out (they're all 20something childless singletons who love clubbing, I'm a married 30something who hates clubbing). It was also 'suggested' that in order to 'be a better part of the team' that I should add people to Facebook as there have been 'words said about you hiding something' because I keep my Facebook private.

Yes I was also very WTAF too.

The reason I don't add them is they're airheads who I have NOTHING in common with coupled with my private life is just that, my private life. I don't want it subject to office gossip. Is that so wrong?!

AIBU about this?

acciddrops If you block someone from a post YOU wrote they can't see it at all. Can't go to your page and see it, nothing, it doesn't exist as far as they're concerned.

If you wall block someone they won't show up in your news but you can see their stuff on their profile.

A timeline is a profile/page, not the same as your newsfeed. Your newsfeed is the home page where it lists all your friends activities.

I agree with just telling the boss, if asked again, that you don't add colleagues to your Facebook. It's nothing personal.

Many of the people I work with are FB friends. I don't necessarily distinguish work/home as I take the view I spend 9 hours out of my day there, it's a huge proportion of my life! I see more of workmates than my family! I wouldn't think any less of anyone who doesn't add others though.
There are a group of us who go out to the theatre or meals who get on really well.
I do have one manager who refuses to join in, who when she suspected someone throwing a sickie then asked to look at their posts and got told to jog on

Just and

Lots of work colleague have asked me to be Facebook friends and I've told them all that I prefer to keep my private life private. Most respect that however others have been .

What?!

This is why I am no longer on Facebook...

I would never have work colleagues on my FB, FB is for home and not work. Various reasons, privacy is one of them but there is no chance of anything you said being commented on at work if you don't have FB.
I don't post much on FB anyway but it seems like a bad idea to have work colleagues - some of my colleagues use it and have their team leader and department manager as their friends

I have a policy of not being friends with colleagues who work for me (or senior people I work for). I have had to tell people this who have asked me why I won't accept the friend request. I explain that I don't want my comments read the wrong way and for that to cause problems at work. If it is a hassle set up another page and just never post on it, that way you can see the round robins, etc.

my private life is private, but would be careful if I were you..

it does sound like you are being spoken of by management as not being a team player... your "airhead" comment also marks you out as a non team player.... perhaps you need to rethink how you come across to the people you work with/for?

I'm surprised that facebook is allowed at your workplace - most workplaces ban it. I don't have any work colleagues as fb friends. I think it's importsnt to have a clear dividing line between work and private life.
You could set up a special Facebook account just for work, post boring stuff every now and then, and block all your work "friends" but keep your personal Facebook account separate, but frankly why should you have to - it's an invasion of privacy!

Actually, in general, I see nothing wrong with having colleagues as friends on FB IF they are actual friends - odd as it may seem to some people, this does happen! I have work colleagues as friends on FB and in RL and also colleagues within the wider health service. We also socialise together sometimes as well. We're a fairly disparate bunch - ranging in ages from 17 to 65 and all sorts of backgrounds, experiences and so on but, and this is most important - we get on.

However, no-one should be forced to make people friends and actually there is a lot to be said for keeping FB activity out of office hours - in fact, it really should be.

This is the thing, we aren't allowed to use the bloody site in working hours!!

Thanks for all your views on this, I think I'm going to nod, smile and carry on as before unless they take it further in which case I will too.

As for my 'airhead' comment yes that is purely expressed on here I don't outwardly show my feelings towards them, I join in conversations, I go on tea and lunch breaks with them. It's just my home life I want to keep to myself

Methinks you are suffering from the demise of Trade Unionism here....whatever corporate bollocks in the spirit of the Team will they come up with next?

YANBU.
Methinks you are suffering from the demise of Trade Unionism here....whatever corporate bollocks in the spirit of the Team will they come up with next?

It's like you are a slave to your employer 24 hours a day if you go along with nonsense like this.

Also you'd be mad to have any work colleagues as friends on Facebook given the apparent propensity of employers to sack people these days for posting things on facebook - even years ago - another freedom of speech issue basically.

YANBU but your team leader is. I would raise the matter with your HR if it is mentioned again and your team leader is crossing a line by putting you under this pressure. Do they think you are all still at college? I am not and never will be friends with any work colleagues on FB.

You do not have to add anybody you don't want to

If you don't want to be seen not to add them. Make a new account with a different email address. Only add work people on it and never post. feeling sneaky

'words said about you hiding something'?

I'd ask quite specifically who has said what.

Then I'd ask what the company policy is on dealing with people who vindictively gossip about others at work, and what the manager plans to do about it.

Ask how many pieces of flair they want you to wear and whether youre ok to just wear the bare minimum.

I would seriously suggest that you follow wobblyweebles advice above.

This could be very much the thin end of the wedge of trying to ease you out.

I can only concur with everyone else here, use one of the suggestions already given to avoid giving access to FB.

I've been in this situation before and felt very threatened by it.

I just wish that I had had the courage to do something like MardyBra suggested:-

Just tell them that you use FB to organise your swinging and dogging activities, and they wouldn't want to see pics of you in your fetish gear.

I don't wonder that you think them airheads! ...although saying they think you are hiding something shows a certain level of low cunning and has prompted you to think even worse of them!

WTAF? Bizarre, and YANBU. I agree with wobblyweebles, you need to ask, in writing (this is important), what is being said about you. In the same email, I would suggest that you tell your manager that you don't feel that you should be penalised for keeping your work and private lives separate.

If it helps, when I've been in a similar situation, I've offered to add them to LinkedIn instead. I don't have any colleagues or clients on FB but whenever I get a request from someone I have professional contact with, I ignore it and immediately fire back a LinkedIn invitation. Nobody has ever complained and I've felt I've "shown willing".

God, it's horrible working with other people isn't it? Self employment is the dream. Good luck OP, don't let them push you around!

I've never had current colleagues on there. I've seen things go badly wrong before and don't think FB and work should be mixed.