To think I shouldn't have to add work people to my Facebook if I don't want to

[Normalisavariantofcrazy]

I got pulled aside today by my team leader that I'm 'not being very team spirited' because I don't attend team nights out (they're all 20something childless singletons who love clubbing, I'm a married 30something who hates clubbing). It was also 'suggested' that in order to 'be a better part of the team' that I should add people to Facebook as there have been 'words said about you hiding something' because I keep my Facebook private.

Yes I was also very WTAF too.

The reason I don't add them is they're airheads who I have NOTHING in common with coupled with my private life is just that, my private life. I don't want it subject to office gossip. Is that so wrong?!

AIBU about this?

YANBU. What you do in your spare time or who you friend on FB is your business, not theirs.

They are all airheads? You shouldn't have to add them to fb but You do sound very dismissive of them.

I find this hilarious given that my office is very anti-facebook and managers shudder at the thought of colleagues chatting away on it. We even have regular emails regarding how to and not to use social media for fear of the company coming under disrepute from an ill advised 'like' or comment!

Is there someone above your team leader you could complain to?

You are right to be very annoyed. I agree tell them you have left Facebook and go private. I think work has overstepped the mark here re Facebook. But I have heard people who should know better making negative remarks when folk don't attend nights out.

Even though I don't put anything that I wouldn't want them to see, and I do get on well with and socialise with my colleagues, I have never had any as FB friends, it was the same in my last job, they were only added once we had all been made redundant. Tell them LinkedIn is more appropriate for colleague relationships.

Ridiculous you feel you have to add them. But if you do, you can create a group and limit their access. In my previous job my colleagues all went in a group I called 'careful' (for Obvs reasons) and set my privacy settings so that they couldnt see posts on my wall or pictures I was tagged in. And obviously, they didn't know that group existed, just assumed that I wasn't much of a facebooker.

I can't imagine for one minute that it's legal to make an employee take part in social media other than intranet stuff actually created for the workplace.

Suggest that a work FB page is set up for colleagues to share stuff, thus allowing everyone to keep their private life private.

make a second fb account called Normalisavariantofcrazy work account. Add them and ignore it! :)

Have you checked your company facebook policy?

Omg has it really come to this? Being forced to share everything about yourself or there are 'words said about you hiding something'?

I wonder what they's make of me. I dont even use FB and this kind of expectation sounds another reason not to.

I am so glad I dont have to put up with this bullshit any more.

I guess, if you are career minded and dont want to rock the boat, you could say "well I dont really use it" add them as friends but block them from seeing stuff as dancing says. Dont know how well that works but I did briefly set up a "show to everyone except x, y & z" then I thought "bollocks, I dont like you" and deleted them as friends but then I didnt have to face them every day (or in fact ever again as it happens)

Agree strongly with everyone above! Your teamleader sounds totally clueless. It sounds as though you're not that keen on your colleagues, but perhaps you could make a small gesture or two to indicate that you aren't totally insular?

WTAF? You boss sounds like an arse.

Who in God's own earth would come out with such a load of bollocks?

not being very team spirited - in what way does your use of Facebook and not going out clubbing have anything whatsoever to do with being in a team and contributing towards the organisations's profitability and effectiveness? What planet is that person on.

That person has been promoted way beyind their level of competency.

on your behalf, normal. I would carry on regardless if I were you, and if they think they can use Facebook membership as a black mark against you, then it is probably time for a chat with HR!

Fyi I am very reserved with my use of our internal social media tool because (and this is a conspiracy theory, probably) I reckon the management will be judging people's frequency of use and equating it to "that person clearly doesn't have enough work to do if they have time to be gabbing on social media so much".

they're airheads who I have NOTHING in common with

So it is true that you're not exactly friendly and team-spirited, then? You don't seem to have a high opinion of them.

X posted with lots of other MNers, and I am very pleased I am not the only one to think they are a pillock

I think if you block people from your posts it only means that your posts do not show up on their timeline. They can still see all your posts on YOUR page if they look. I could be wrong but this is my understanding.

Trills, that's being honest on here, surely no harm in that?

yAnbu... I never add work people even if I was work friends with them.

Seriously I really don't understand the obsession with some people and Facebook and people having to have access (and being offended if not granted it).

Read The Circle by Dave Eggers! I have just finished it. Sooooo applies to your situation. Privacy is "selfish" ;-)

And leave a copy on the Team Leader's desk too. Idiot! YADNBU.

Maybe what the boss is picking up on is not just "not going out" or "not adding on Facebook" but a general air of disdain (which is hard to quantify, hence focusing on more measurable things).

That's pathetic!

I'll tell her to take it to her manager if she feels so strongly about it and then carry on regardless.

Unless it's written into your contract you should never HAVE to add anyone you don't want to and there isn't a companny in the world who will even consider doing that.