Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should make SOME effort with a children's party?

85 replies

AwfulMaureen · 06/01/2014 17:18

As host I mean? My lovely friend today invited me and my DC to her house to have "a tea party" for her DS who is turning 2.

Now...I knew it would be a small affair and sure enough there was me and my two who are aged 5 and 9 and three of her neighbours who had a various amount of DC aged between a few months and 10 years old...so with all of the DC there were 8 kids my friend's little one and 5 adults. She never provides any entertainment for the DC...that's my gripe really.

I don't think she needs to do much but maybe put a table of crayons and paper out? As it stands there were hardly any toys about...they'd all been put away bar a few books...it was raining outside....the house is small...the tea was served on plates on the DC laps so they had to perch on the floor etc and there was nothing for adults (but obviously we all stole the kids bits and bobs)

She did this last party she had but that was a much bigger thing...shr provided wine and tea and a similar buffet for the DC but absolutely nothing for them to do!
She doesn't lay a table for them all to sit at...which my kids love doing and I think most kids do don't they? Having tea and all that round a table.

The DC were all slumping around although my youngest did pair up with a similarly aged child and they played an imaginary game but a lot of the others were little lads and they were just being a bit naughty as they obviously got bored. Should I suggest something next time? I'd help her if she wanted me to...do pass the parcel or musical statues...AIBU? Why does she do this do you thnk?

OP posts:
Original poster
AwfulMaureen · 06/01/2014 17:53

Minnie I don't know about "being the star* Confused but he had a good time.

Why would she entertain the other children...er....dunno....maybe because they all turned up to celebrate her child's birthday and brought nice gifts? That's the way I see it....obviously MN doesn't! She invited mine because her DS likes them!

Limited exactly. That's what I did too! I'd never invite a group of older kids and not offer colouring in or something...especially in the bad weather....I just helped my small ones open the gifts in pass the parcel..and they enjoyed it...

OP posts:
Sillybillybob · 06/01/2014 17:58

Uh oh... DD is 2 in a fortnight. I was planning to invite a couple of friends round with their DCs to, er, play with the toys and eat off plates off the floor. Clearly this is a faux pas!!!

ARealPickle · 06/01/2014 17:59

Silly Bob - don't worry that would be completely the norm! Congratulations on your daughter's birthday. Have a lovely day.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/01/2014 18:06

I personally invited older kids as they are family and my godchildren.I dunno I just thought when you have a party you think what kind of people are coming?i mean especially with kids?

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2014 18:08

Does no one notice that there were no toys out. Im not surprised the children, older or younger, were bored.

fivegolddeblooms · 06/01/2014 18:09

This is a simple case of you do things your way, and she does things her way.

You've started this thread as though it's some kind of competition - it's not. My kids would be perfectly happy with either kind of party.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/01/2014 18:11

Thats what i was just about to say polar!Grin
the older kids we have round play with ds toys too when theyre fed up or play with the little ones with them,its nice to see too.

LimitedEditionLady · 06/01/2014 18:12

I dont think its a competition thread,I think op was asking what others do?

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:12

Yabvvu, at that age they don't tend to sit nicely for any length of time for games such as pass the parcel or musical chairs! My ds who will be 2 in a few weeks will draw but for a few seconds than he's off again. At that age it does not really matter! Some toys out, bit of children's music and some food, and that's fine.

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:13

Op you said he had a good time, that's all that matters, it's a party for the children, not you!

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:16

It is a party, for a 2 year old! Why should they not have friends round, to sing happy birthday, have some cake and have fun playing with each other. Not everyone can afford to hire a hall and an entertainer. The main thing is that the kids enjoyed it, get over yourself!

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2014 18:16

Where does it say any of them had a good time? And while im sure the ops children arent scarred for life before I get accused of overreacting, it cant have been fun to go somewhere for a couple of hours, on your best behaviourwwith little to do. This os why we didnt take oir dc sofa shopping - its a chore not a pleasure!

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2014 18:17

Piglet but there is a compromise between nothing at all and hire a hall. Some toys and maybe a round of pass theparcel which most 2yo can join in with older ones

LeafyGreen13 · 06/01/2014 18:17

But the OP said there weren't any toys out.

I think it sounds really boring. She could have picked up some things at the Pound Shop for them to do. She could have dumped a big bucket of Duplo in the middle of the room. If she was broke she could have asked people to bring a dish.

It doesn't have to be a full out expensive, organised event but something to do would have been nice.

I think if it is at a park then it is different as there will be things to do/explore there.

fivegolddeblooms · 06/01/2014 18:19

No, she's having a little bitch about her 'lovely friend' and how what she does isn't what she would do, and trying to make it look not like bitching by dropping in disingenious questions like "why does she do this do you think?" [innocent face]

I prefer a good honest bitch to a stealth thread designed to make others do the bitching on an OP's behalf.

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:19

Op said that her ds had a good time stealth in her last post

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:22

No not my ds stealth, recently there was pass the parcel and he ran off. When I did home parties for my dd when she was 2 there was music, cake, food and toys. Goodness me how could I go,so wrongI won't bother next time then! Ds is 2 in 2 weeks, we're having a macdonalds party Shock, as the venue is free, my house remains mess free, and it has a little soft play area. As long as kids are enjoying themselves, so what!

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2014 18:23

Where piglet? I assume "I just helped my small ones open the gifts in pass the parcel..and they enjoyed it..." refers to her own children's parties when they were little, as the OP said there were no games at this one

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2014 18:24

I agree (and your party sounds ideal) but I don't think they were

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:25

The 17.53 post where she said, Minnie I don't know about being a star, but he had a good time!

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:26

And I will bring my party music to play when kids are eating

pigletmania · 06/01/2014 18:27

I agree she should have had more toys or games out, but apart from that sounds like a perfectly fine party

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2014 18:27

oh fair enough, sorry

SuckItAndSee · 06/01/2014 18:27

perfect party for 2yos = play, eat food. Throw in a cup of tea for the supervising grown-up and you've pretty much covered all the bases IMO.

FixItUpChappie · 06/01/2014 18:29

YANBU. No need for planned entertainment or organized games but how hard is it to put a few toys out?

My friend does this too - not one toy out when you go round for a visit or for her 2 year olds b-day. Its not like toddlers are famous for playing tag or some such thing together so I honestly don't get it.

I wonder if she doesn't like the mess, or is precious about her PFBs toys or just doesn't have experience going to other houses where kids all muck in and share stuff.....?? I now either don't agree to visit her at home or I pack a bag of stuff to occupy mine (which is a PITA). I do encourage her to come to my place then promptly encourage her child to dig into our toy box.

Not a big deal but a bit odd IME.