More of a wwyd regarding IL's referring to unborn baby as 'granddaughter'

[AmberSweet]

Even though we are having a boy? Ok tbf to them they don't know we are having a boy (their decision, they wanted it to be a surprise) except it's not really a surprise if they've decided already that baby is a girl?

Everything is 'My granddaughter' and 'She'. DP does correct them and say 'baby' or as horrible as it sounds 'it' but they insist on saying 'she' because MIL just KNOWS that baby is a girl.

The most annoying part is that they were really against us finding out the sex. They said it would spoil things and were really quite pushy and insistent on the matter to the point where DP changed his mind and didn't want to know either until our 20 scan when he changed his mind again and did want to find out (I wanted to know but said that I was happy enough to keep it a surprise if he really didn't want to know). PIL don't know that we found out (because DP didn't want to get a earful from them ).

So wwyd? It's so hard for me to know scream at them 'He's a boy!' Everytime they go on! Tbh this isn't the first issue I've had with them over the pregnancy so I'm kind of at the end of my tether anyways. I'm 22 weeks, uncomfortable and quite emotional. Working part time and have a 6 year old Ds so also tired. I just want it to stop!

I was say something like..'i can't wait hold/see/buy (whatever) for HIM...oh. oops. Cat out of the bag now it's a boy!'

There's money to be made in this, OP!

You should 'bet' her £xx it's a boy and then she can bet its a girl.

If they are going to be stupid enough to insist that your baby is a girl you are going to have to tell them before he's born. The reaction won't be pretty, but better now than when he's here.

I'd get the camera ready just to picture her face when they are told it's a boy- and if she has bought loads of pink stuff then more fool her! Let it clutter up their cupboards as a reminder of her stupidity!

Oh for goodness sake just tell them it's a boy.this would drive me nuts although I do like ButICantAloupe idea.

Does your dh always obey his parents?

I posted on the other thread about gender preference and my mil whos heart is set on a grand daughter. We purposely found out the sex at 20 weeks so she had a few months to get over her disappointment if baby was a boy.

All that's happened is that she now talks about the next time and that we can try for a girl then. Despite the fact we aren't having any more and I haven't popped ds2 out yet!!

Oh dear....In Laws with ambiguous boundaries - always fun. I'd tell them to be honest (and I think it's about time your DH started standing up to them - just imagine what it's going to be like when the baby arrives and they have opinions on how you should be raising him....) Their intrusion on your decision making needs to be nipped in the bud now - before it makes your lives hell.

Windmill I didn't find out the sex when pregnant with Ds1 so I've now experienced both sides and I'm just as excited with both experiences :)

MrsD and imperial your posts really made me laugh!

To all those who have said my dp is a wimp or similar, don't even get me started on that! But he is really trying now to stand his/our ground a lot more so at least that's something.

Cantaloupe I'm loving that idea!

''Their intrusion on your decision''

happy - you are so right. It IS an intrusion on their decision about weather to find out baby's gender isn't it?

More annoying the more you think about it.

Tell them OP.

Op do you think you will tell them it's a boy? You have the patience of a saint.

Oh you tell them.

My il's did this to me. They seriously expected me to Keep the sex a secret for 20 weeks to please them. selfish denying me the right to enjoy talking about MY baby.

I lasted about a day before I accidently blurted it out!!!

Seriously though it's just the start. Put your foot down now or they will be interfering for ever.

Nearthewindmill what a ridiculous smug comment. I could say that you can't possibly understand how special the bond when they're born and you had known for 20 weeks is. It's a personal thing finding out and either way has its pros and cons.

Op yanbu. I'd tell them

Scans can be wrong, imagine if she is right

Ask them flat out if they will be disappointed if its a boy, and if they say something to that effect or go on the denial, say they they are upsetting you because if you don't have a girl now they will make you feel like your child is second best and thats just rude and unfair.

I think you need to tell them. When he is born, they are going to be so negative if they still expect him to be a girl. It could spoil the first few days/weeks if they blab on about it.

If the parents decide up find out the sex they can tell whoever they want! The surprise is for the person who has the child!

They've basically demanded that you don't tell them the
gender of the baby (while also trying to force those wishes on you). That's their decision & if they're daft enough to forget there's a 50/50 chance of pink or blue
then that's really their problem when they get a surprise!

I would keep just casually mentioning that you "have a strong feeling it's a boy, just like I did with DS1"

PIL don't know that we found out (because DP didn't want to get a earful from them)

Really? This is the bigger problem.

I'd tell your DH to deal with it.

Otherwise I'd ignore them unless they start buying stuff - then I'd not too subtly advise that they better keep the receipts.

My mum was insufferable about our 2nd being a girl and I didn't want any disappointed face on the day of the birth, so after our 20 week scan failed to determine the sex I paid for a private scan to settle it and told her - its a boy, we are thrilled, stop already.

I wonder if there's something you've said that has (accidently) implied to them that you're having a girl.

With dd2, we found out but didn't tell anyone else, much as you haven't. In passing dh did tell them that we knew, but nothing else. For some reason mil picked up on something (tone of voice at one point I think) and decided baby was a boy.
Hence when dd2 we got a face and a "Congratulations on your boy" card and a blue knitted jumper.
Still amuses us.

I wouldn't tell them, it may be that they're hoping you will let it out by insisting it's a girl. I would ask them to keep receipts for any clothes they get though.

And then, what's the worst when baby's born? I'm sure once baby's there, then they'll love him anyway.

And if they have made a mistake at the scan (which is possible) you won't have to face telling them that they were right and you were wrong.

I think you should tell them, because that will give them a few months to get their heads around the idea. For whatever reason, they clearly badly want a grand-daughter - much better they know now so they can adjust to the idea. And then they're much more likely to be fine when the baby arrives.

That would indeed be very annoying.

I would just tell them to be honest in case they start buying a load of pink stuff.

I wouldn't be afraid of letting them know you found out because you know it's up to you as you are his parents, not them. :o

If I were you, I'd be so pissed off with their behaviour I WOULD tell them it's a boy. They are being ridiculous.