Flowers…. a lazy present or AIBU

[lurkerspeaks]

One of my friends had a really crap 2013 with several significant bereavements.

This is not designed to be an "amn't I an amazing friend post" but is relevant as over the course of the past year I've sent her quite a lot of postal gifts - chocolates, flowers, brownies etc. as I live along way away and couldn't be there for her in the way I would have wanted to be - doing childcare, baking cakes etc. She is not financially constrained so doesn't NEED anything and I'm worried that buying her a voucher for an experience eg. facial (which she would enjoy) would require childcare to be organised which I'm not in a position to help with so might end up being unused.

It is her birthday next week and I was going to order her flowers but am conflicted as it feels like a lazy present (all I have to do is go on the waitrose website) but I can't think of what else to get her and I feel she has already had my fall back postal options.

So - if you got flowers for your birthday - would you think "Hmm, lurker is just being lazy and can't be bothered to choose something better/ especially for me" or would you like it?

Any other suggestions would be welcomed.

I love flowers.
best gift anyone can get me is a big bunch of beautiful lillies.

it really depends if your friend loves flowers. Does she?

You sound like an awesome friend and I would love the flowers. Otherwise maybe a book voucher?

Who could object to receiving flowers? A lovely present especially, if she has everything, the last thing she would want is more possessions. She will feel valued and appreciated by the gesture. Go for it :-)

No I would think it was lovely that you were still thinking of me

What about a bouquet of balloons? They come in the shape of a bouquet of flowers and are a bit different

Not sure whether I can say the company name here so pm if you want to look at their website, although I can't see why I can't

It's balloon baboon

I love flowers. My dd passed away 2 years ago. I have a friend who lives far away who sends me flowers often - on anniversaries, for my birthday etc. I love them and I'm always touched. Not a lazy present at all

I think a voucher is a good option as it can usually be redeemed within 6 months which is a big window of opportunity to arrange childcare.

So a money amount from a local salon for whatever she wanted would be good. Another good one is vouchers for a very nice restaurant.

I'm not a flowers person myself.

Will you be sending a card? How about writing in the card the reasons why you like her and why she's a good friend. Nothing about the bereavements, just about why you like her. That would be a very thoughtful gift (with the flowers).

Or a grow your own chilli plant - then she'll have chillis to cook with?
Some fancy hand cream/moisturiser/face pack?
A scented candle?

Flowers are a lovely gift. Who needs more possessions?

Some carefully chosen flowers (even with a card you've written to say why you chose those ones) would be lovely. I helped a male friend buy flowers for his GF once - we got lovely orange tulips from the market, which she loved.

Biscuiteers are a nice alternative if you haven't used them already - very pretty iced biscuits which come in a nice tin.

I think there's something really lovely about receiving a bunch of flowers and with a thoughtful card it would be perfect.

I love receiving flowers.

I love flowers too but it does depend how much she likes them if she likes a facial maybe she would prefer some nice smellies of a brand she likes.

I love flowers, they're very indulgent and not something I usually buy for myself.

I like getting flowers, but if you feel you have already done this sort option then how about filling a small box with lots of little, individually wrapped goodies appropriate to your friend. She will realise the thought and effort you have taken and you might feel it is a little more personal.

I love flowers - no-one ever buys me flowers

I love flowers. Lovely present. Could you be my friend, please?

One thought, though- only my husband buys them for me. If he copped it, I think I'd be a bit upset to see a bunch arriving that wasn't from him. Don't know if that's relevant to your friend's situation or not.

I hate flowers, but I'm aware this is just me . It would only annoy me because it's something I specifically dislike. Chocolates or bath products are just as "lazy" but I'd be delighted with them! I also think these look lovely!

I'm one of the few people in the world who would not like flowers as they make me sneeze uncontrollably and I can't have them in the house. But I would acknowledge that I'm totally in the minority here and most people love them.

Faff though too, aren't they? Sorting a vase etc and arranging them all nice.

Give me chocolate any day.

I hate flowers. I'd rather someone stuck a twenty pound note in an envelope to be perfect honest.

I love flowers and I'm thrilled on the rare occasion that somebody (who isn't me) has bought them.
I'd much prefer them to the 'I don't know what to buy wonkylegs' chocolate that I got for Christmas , which is wasted as I'm not really much of a chocolate eater.

I love getting flowers. They are too dear to buy for myself so would love to receive some. My MIL very kindly bought me a bouquet which included proteas (my country's national flower) for passing some exams - it was very thoughtful.

Flowers are lovely, but honestly, I really wouldn't if you've sent them to her for a recent bereavement. If that were me I'd feel a bit funny about it - it would just remind me of the sad times rather than seeming happy.

Nice bottle of wine?

I love flowers, and you sound a lovely friend. Also think there's something special about luxurious smelliest - being pampered with lovely warm bath is v comforting if you'd had a rough time.

I love flowers, chocolate(s), wine, "nice" soap, sweets/chocs I had as a kid-walnut whip, fudge...anything, really!

I think that the "little bag of happiness" would make me cry tbh!