Flowers…. a lazy present or AIBU

[lurkerspeaks]

One of my friends had a really crap 2013 with several significant bereavements.

This is not designed to be an "amn't I an amazing friend post" but is relevant as over the course of the past year I've sent her quite a lot of postal gifts - chocolates, flowers, brownies etc. as I live along way away and couldn't be there for her in the way I would have wanted to be - doing childcare, baking cakes etc. She is not financially constrained so doesn't NEED anything and I'm worried that buying her a voucher for an experience eg. facial (which she would enjoy) would require childcare to be organised which I'm not in a position to help with so might end up being unused.

It is her birthday next week and I was going to order her flowers but am conflicted as it feels like a lazy present (all I have to do is go on the waitrose website) but I can't think of what else to get her and I feel she has already had my fall back postal options.

So - if you got flowers for your birthday - would you think "Hmm, lurker is just being lazy and can't be bothered to choose something better/ especially for me" or would you like it?

Any other suggestions would be welcomed.

I'd never think badly of anyone who bought me flowers. Your friend would be delighted, I'm sure. Go for it.

Suggestion B is plants by post - like an olive tree or some sort of small shrub/rose/whatever?

I think there is something special about receiving a bouquet of flowers from afar. I love receiving them. Alternatives - pampering smellies, White Company candle etc, magazine subscription? I personally would love all the above!

Buying flower is no more lazy than buying anything and having it delivered!

I personally love flowers and would prefer them over chocolate any day.

I hate flowers in the house although would love a plant for the garden.

I don't like the smell of flowers in the house (it affects my asthma) and I also negatively associate them with not bothering as my ex bf always used to forget my birthday so did interflora every year as 'that's the only thing you can get delivered on the day'.

However, I love smellies, socks and wine which lots of people would think of as 'lazy'. I think as long as the person likes them it doesn't matter if it is considered lazy or not.

Flowers are fab. I love receiving them. How about a bottle of wine as well? I use M&S for flowers and sent a lovely rose plant, wine and chops to a relative just before Xmas. The wine and chocs will go but the plant should hopefully last (she has greener fingers than me!)

I love them, and would consider it a lovely gift. I don't receive flowers very often, but I really appreciate them, when I do. So, YANBU, in my opinion.

I love flowers. Was sent the most gorgeous bouquet from my colleagues when I had DD. I was really touched.

How about an outdoor plant or tree as a present?

Some lovely ideas here or here or here

Flowers are nice but I'd prefer a diptyque candle which is probably around the same price.

And agree with LRD re. the association of flowers with bereavements.

i love flowers, especially if thoughtfully chosen

I'd prefer an arrangement in oasis already. Then all you've got to do is put it somewhere, stand back and admire.

I love flowers and would love getting them as a gift x

Does she like flowers? You'd be able to tell from her responses to flowers that you've sent in the past.

Does she have particular likes or dislikes wrt flowers?

For really special flower gifts, I like to talk to the florist and make sure the recipient gets something personal. I use a local florist who is amazing or Interflora florists who are near the person and I phone them direct.

Flowers can seem a bit of a cop out gift but can also be very personal too.

I love receiving flowers. Otherwise a nice surprise/treat for her would be you to visit sometime in the near future?

I love receiving flowers, especially from DH as he will also put them in a vase and arrage them nice.

I hate flowers. Waste I money. After one of the dcs were born, was bought an enormous bunch. Such a waste. They just died away. I would have preferred half the value in vouchers than the whole value in flowers.

I realise I sound selfish/ grabby here, though.

I love flowers, I consider them a 'treat' and so rarely buy them myself. I would say buy a bunch that comes in a vase / bag of water so your friend doesn't have to arrange them herself in a vase. You sound lovely and I'm sure your friend would appreciate anything you sent though.

Love love love floweres and never ever get them.

Have a big birthday soon and hoping, expect to be disappointed though.

You sound lovely op.

what about sending her some narcissi (sp?) from the isles of Scilly? you can get 60 stems for about £20 and they smell gorgeous!

the folks there are fantastic and its something a bit different from the "normal" bunch if flowers.

I have had the same dilemma and have just sent my friend a couple of lovely things from notonthehighstreet

I don't think flowers are lazy, but she may be less keen on them at the moment if people have sent bereavement flowers. If you look at the 'Sluttery by post' ideas here www.domesticsluttery.com/search?q=sluttery+by+post there are all sorts of more unusual options.

Flowers are lovely and a thoughtful gift. What a lovely friend you are. Sure she will appreciate them.