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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to ask if this woman knows she has Leukocoria (white eye reflection)

58 replies

stardustoddity · 05/01/2014 15:46

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leukocoria

She's a neighbour I met for the first time yesterday. I thought it was unusual when I met her yesterday, and she asked us over for coffee this morning - I noticed it again. Basically with - I think - both her eyes you get a white reflection back from the back of they eye - sort of like redeye in a photo - but white. It wasn't cataracts as it wasn't milky or at the front. Perhaps one of you knows more about this than me, but I am guessing she and her family all know about it.

The only thing is I have read of people having this noticed by other people (from a photo in one case) - and it's an indicator of an eye cancer (retinoblastoma).

is it something that people just 'have'??

OP posts:

Chewedover · 05/01/2014 15:50

I've noticed this with people who've had lazer eye surgery. It could be that.

Kittensmctavish · 05/01/2014 15:53

YABU esp if you don't know what the implications are or what it means.

I have a medical condition that changes my appearance subtly. I work with HCPs and sometimes they notice. I don't mind too much because usually they are concerned but I would hate it if a neighbour pointed it out. I would be doubly offended if they had googled it and come up with some half-baked, ill informed opinion,

squoosh · 05/01/2014 15:57

On the other hand she may have no clue and you could be doing her a huge favour.

It's all in how you phrase it.

Original poster

stardustoddity · 05/01/2014 16:08

not going to say anything. she must know now I think about it.

OP posts:

manicinsomniac · 05/01/2014 16:10

Tough one if it's a case of finding out early = life saver.

Does she have a family/lots of friends? If you noticed it so quickly then it's unlikely others closer to her won't have noticed and said something if necessary.

If she's an isolated sort of person then I maybe would say something.

Caitlin17 · 05/01/2014 16:16

I think I would mention it. I'm very short sighted and have been wearing contact lenses for over 30 years so I'm used to getting eye checks once a year and know anything untoward will be picked up by the optician.

As everyone is entitled to a free eye check could you word it in such a way that it doesn't sound scary but framed in the way why not take advantage of a free NHS test?

costumething · 05/01/2014 16:33

It is unlikely to be cancer because that kind of cancer is very rare in adults and would probably only affect one eye.

PrimalLass · 05/01/2014 16:39

Tell her. My kids each had 5 years of check-ups because of an increased risk of retinoblastoma.

I have really outed myself now, but never mind.

marvindarvin · 05/01/2014 16:40

I would absolutely mention it, but as diplomatically as possible, worded very carefully so that it was framed with a "I don't want to worry you or pry but I noticed this and if you're not aware you might want to get it checked" - then move onto something else, don't pry for details or anything (not that I think you would) - basically just flag it, and if she knows, then she'll change the subject with you, if she doesn't, you could be helping her get a potential health issue spotted early.

There's no way I wouldn't say anything at all I would feel so guilty if it really was a problem that hadn't been spotted, and I hadn't said anything due to not wanting to offend.

Isn't it true that bowl cancer is one of the more easily curable ones (relative terms) if it's spotted early, but that people don't want to get checked for these things due to embarrassment? Also a factor in men's health issues too. Time we got rid of that stiff upper lip IMHO, at least when it comes to health matters!

FirstStopCafe · 05/01/2014 16:40

I'd mention it

MadisonMontgomery · 05/01/2014 16:47

I would definitely mention it - I have an eye condition, and when I started my last job a colleague asked me if I was aware I had it - as it happens I was, but I wasn't at all offended that she brought it up.

Toecheese · 05/01/2014 16:48

Can you slip it in somehow? Talk about your glasses and then ask her if her eyes are good

Twattyzombiebollocks · 05/01/2014 16:51

I would say wow your eyes are really unusual because they do x - she will either say yes it's because I have x or she will say yes they have always done it or do they? I hadn't noticed.
I have an odd pigment spot on my iris that people always comment on, it doesn't bother me at all.

Original poster

stardustoddity · 05/01/2014 17:26

hhm, interesting. I'll have a think. Perhaps asking in an 'oh how unusual' way if the moment was right

OP posts:

Weelady77 · 05/01/2014 18:13

Defo mention it she may know about it!

A friend of mine noticed someone on her fb child had it she mentioned it and it saved the child's life!

RandyRudolf · 05/01/2014 18:23

If you mention it you could potentially be a life saver and worst case you offend her. Personally I think it's worth potentially offending someone in this case.

Original poster

stardustoddity · 05/01/2014 18:27

its in both eyes though, so it can't be the retinoblastoma?

OP posts:

happynewday · 05/01/2014 18:35

No don't think it would be retinoblastoma as that's almost always a childhood cancer.

I think you need to be very tactful if you decide to bring it up with her. If you noticed it on a first meeting, I'm assuming it's quite a noticeable thing?

PrimalLass My DC are also at higher risk of RB and are checked regularly

DeWe · 05/01/2014 19:01

I took very stroppy dd1 to the doctor (age 13) as she was constantly coming out with one eye red, one eye white, and she was thoroughly checked, but the doctor did say she would be very unusually old for it.

MammaTJ · 05/01/2014 19:27

I had a lovely gentleman say to me when DS was a baby 'I hope you don't mind, but I am a doctor and I have noticed your son seems to have a droopy eye lid. It might be ptosis and might affect his eye sight'.

I already knew and he was going to have his first op shortly after, but he said it in such a lovely way, with such concern, there was no way I could have taken offence.

I think tell her you have noticed the white, and that she should maybe get it checked if she hasn't already.

TheBlahWitchProject · 05/01/2014 20:38

I am blind in one eye after an accident last year... You can tell something's not quite right with the eye when I'm not wearing a prosthetic but personally, the people who ask if things are alright with my eye, I find very caring and I am not in the slightest offended. Maybe it's just me but I'd rather people were honest...the people who know I've had an accident and haven't even commented offend me more....I'm sure they just don't know how to bring it up but I'd mention it x

Theycallmestacy · 05/01/2014 21:01

I have this in one eye, the optician has told me that mine isn't anything to be concerned about. He did explain its something to do with my brain not using the information from that eye.

It's not always something to be worried about.
I would say something though, just to be on the safe side.

Karoleann · 05/01/2014 21:06

Cataracts can cause a white pupil reflex as can a squint.
It's most likely to be that, the chance of your adult neighbour having a bilateral childhood eye cancer is very very very small.

VoteYes · 05/01/2014 21:16

I wouldn't go in self diagnosing but you could tell her what you see... Be very careful with your wording if you decide to say something...

PrimalLass · 05/01/2014 21:20

PrimalLass My DC are also at higher risk of RB and are checked regularly

I hope you have been looked after as brilliantly as we were.

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