To Find this Woman in the Cinema Rude

[LessMissAbs]

Me and my friend were watching a film in the cinema tonight. She doesn't wear a watch and must have been checking her phone for the time - its a habit of hers to do this, or to ask people the time. I was sitting next to her and I didn't notice it.

There was an empty seat to her other side between her and a woman. The woman suddenly boomed out in the middle of the film, "If you want to play your phone, you can go outside and do it instead of in here".

It was mortifying, and she interrupted the film for me. I was really embarrassed for my friend, but we didn't say anything.

At the end of the film, as we were standing up to leave, I said to the woman "I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not, I don't want to have to the film interrupted by your booming voice". She then started arguing back (she said something like "Oh you'd like to be a cheeky one, wouldn't you, and some other stuff) but we turned our backs towards her and her husband so that she was talking to ourselves, put on our coats and left.

Kind of ruined the film for both of us. Normally I find going to the cinema relaxing!

your friend is an adult, and should have known that it's bad manners to check your phone in the cinema

Ah, but the op's friend is not just any adult. She's a sophisticated EU worker.

The women who had the gall to challenge the op's friend on the other hand was lacking in finesse!!

Op, there have geen some corkers on this thread, but this has given me the best laugh..

I'm glad you started the thread, just for this alone

I enjoyed the OP's mentioning that her friend is an oh-so-sophisticated Euro-crat. Coming into contact with these people via work, I can attest that most of them are idiots. Just because they can spout patronising drivel in three or four languages doesn't make them any less idiotic.

Walking through the city centre the other day there were a mix of acts performing on the main shopping street. Crowds form round them blocking most of the street. People proceed to film what's going on just so they can upload it onto twatbook and bore the rest of us. Argh!

I went to DS's nativity play a few weeks ago.
A crowd of a dozen parents or so swarmed forwards with smartphones and iPads (and a laptop in one case!) and watched their children through screens rather than in the flesh, blocking the view for the entire rest of the audience, who could see practically nothing.
I went to the worst offender at about the half way mark, who had parked herself in the middle of the hall and was standing up, thereby blocking views to both right and left. I asked very nicely whether she could sit back down as some of us hadn't been able to see our children at all, and obviously we would like to at some point before the end. She snarled at me that she would film her child if she wanted to and she was going to carry on.
Flogging is too good for people like that.

She had a great fat arse as well, which didn't help with the staying out the way thing, but I refrained from a Tourette's type uncharitable desire to point that out during the exchange, as mine is not that small either. BUT I REALLY WANTED TO.

This restraint from bitchiness shows that I can occasionally be a grown up, I hope. In public, anyway.

shame the teaching staff didn't pull her up or the governors who are often at the front, we always stood at the side if we had camcorder. I hate that selfishness and lack of consideration for other people.

I don't understand why people are so set on capturing every moment on film instead of just living in the moment and enjoying it for what it is.

Boffin

It don't understand this obsession with filming things. It's like "If I don't have a permanent record, it never happened". Meanwhile, they aren't actually experiencing what they are watching at the time. It's perverse - like proving it happened is more important that the fact that it happened.

And it's selfish, as you say, if it stops other people enjoying it.

X post

yy Randy!

"It pissed me off when they flashed up an announcement just before it started saying "tweet us with your opinions of it".

I know. And those who tweeted during the interval were too late to have their tweets (or whatever they're called) displayed, apparently. Pointless idea, and comments were, too. "The ballet/opera was so lovely" type of thing.

YABU. People shining the light from their phones in the cinema is plain inconsiderate. Unless your friend is actually a brain surgeon on call, or has her finger on the nuclear button or something, she is not so important that she needs to check her phone every five minutes.

I have never, ever been in an entirely silent cinema, full of motionless silent people staring like robots at the screen. I have, many times, and no I don't live in Stepford. It is simply common courtesy to assume that the rest of the audience wants to watch the film in peace and behave accordingly. I was in a cinema of small children recently and, apart from laughing at the funny bits, cheering at the rousing bits etc (which I was doing too), they were quiet. They had an average age of about 8. If they can do it, an adult can.

tobias, if you're bored in the cinema the polite thing to do is to leave, or continue to sit and be bored, whichever you prefer. It is inconsiderate to start playing with your phone to distract yourself when the light from it may well distract others who are not bored and who want to follow the film. I can't believe I'm having to spell this out, tbh.

OP, your comment 'I don't really care if you were disturbed by a light during the film or not' says it all about your and your friend's attitude. Most cinemas either play a short ad/notice on screen before the film asking people to turn off their phones, or have a person at the doorway reminding everyone to do so as they go in. Did you and your friend assume that this did not apply to you? Or is she/are you a bit dim?

your friend is an adult, and should have known that it's bad manners to check your phone in the cinema

I'm an adult too and would not have imagined people could get so worked up about someone checking the time on their phone. I have always assumed that the 'turn off your phone' related to the noise. I know now but might still do it occasionally.

I thought about this thread today, while I was sat in the expensive premier seats that I hadn't paid for.

No, the light is very distracting too. In some theatres the announcement says to turn off your phone completely 'as the light can be distracting to others.' Maybe cinemas should do this too, so there's no excuse.

Hopefully at least some people who weren't previously aware that lighted screens are antisocial have learned something now.

Well I know now. But as I was there with DD today, OH was away over the bridge to the football in Edinburgh (so 30-ish mins minimum in the car), and DS was at a friends, I kept it on and checked under a cardi just to make sure there was no text re collecting him.

Though I do think the 'immersed in the film' thing is a tad wanky.

Turn off means exactly what it says "turn off" If it only meant set it to silent the instructions would say that.

PrimalLass a tad wacky? Really oddly I think people checking their phones is a tad rude.

Being immersed in the film just kind of describes the (ideal) cinema experience, IMO, rather than being 'wanky'.

The concept of needing to be 'immersed'. It's a film. But I am about as uncultured as you get.

PrimalLass would you behave in this way at a concert or in a theatre? And by concert I don't mean a non seated venue.

Would I behave in what way? Check my phone for the time in my handbag or under a cardi? The last concert I went to was Take That, and the next one will be One Direction with my 6-year-old - so what do you think? Told you I am uncultured.

Films work on the senses of sight and hearing, on the emotions and on the intellect. I think it follows quite obviously from this that they are 'immersive' as opposed to, say, the radio, which you can have on in the background and have half an ear on.

It's not about being 'cultured' or the kind of events you go to. Films of all kinds, from Godard to mainstream comedies like The Hangover, all essentially work on the consumer in the same way.

I refer to a previous post of mine - what if everyone just had to keep checking their phone throughout the film? I reckon that would be very bloody distracting.

There's a damn good reason people are asked not to use their phones during the feature so don't do it.