To be annoyed with DP for ringing me and emailing me at work

[wowfudge]

to ask what is there he can have for lunch? He is at home. I mean, seriously - so I started listing off the top of my head: cheese, meat, soup, bread. He then asked me where the bread was and when I replied 'in the breadbin' it turned out he hadn't opened the fridge, a cupboard or the breadbin to look himself! He then emailed me to ask where the eggs were - well they've been eaten, which is why they aren't in the fridge in their usual place. Then he emailed again to say he was going to make an omelette, when did they get eaten? I've emailed me back and asked him to pack it in as I'm busy.

The lazy sod. Well capable adult acting like a whiny toddler.

Does he do this regularly? It's unacceptable behaviour. It sounds to me as though he is punishing you for being at work rather than at home acting as his servant.

What?! If I email Dh it tends to be along the lines of "As you've got the car at work can you pick up some bread/milk/missing ingredient in your lunchbreak/on your way home?"

I think if Dh had emailed me what your dp did, I'd have ignored it and let him figure it out for himself or starve.

What on Earth!

I feel guilty texting DH about what I should arrange for dinner while he's at work, even though it benefits him too. It's such an unnecessary interruption. Luckily, DH is obsessed with food and doesn't mind!

Is he missing you, OP? :)

Was he asking what he can have for lunch so as to check that food is not earmarked for tea or another purpose? DH checks stuff like this with me after he repeatedly (say) used the last eggs when I'd planned to make an omelette later.

That's out of order from him!

love that you found time to post about it on mn though

To me, it sounds like he is making it clear that food, cooking etc are your department - and you being at work is less important. How would he react if you phoned and emailed him at work about similarly unimportant stuff?

Very odd. YANBU. Is he always like this?

Erm, how has he survived into adulthood?? I hope you laughed at him, said 'haha very funny' and slammed the phone down.

dh to me " what have we got in for tea"

me to dh " how the fuck should I know - what am I fridge monitor?"

and if I ask dh whats for tea

he would reply the same

He did ask was I busy so I asked what did he want? The call was on the pretext of making sure he didn't eat anything earmarked for tea, then I found out he hadn't even looked anywhere when he asked where the bread was!

I don't think he's punishing me SolidGold - just completely useless when it comes to food. Seriously - if he could open the fridge and a robot arm delivered a sandwich on a plate, he'd think that was brilliant. This is the man whose idea of cooking is putting a ready meal in the oven. Quote: 'when you can buy such great ready meals these days, why would you bother cooking yourself?'.

I know, I know - painful.

Exdp used to do it the other way round, eg. I would be at home and he would be at work and he expected me to act like his secretary/housekeeper and be always at his beck and call at the other end of the telephone. Either way it's pretty controlling and attention seeking.

Is he totally incapable and about three years old?? Does he think you should have made and left him sandwiches or something so that the poor fella didn't have to lift a finger, look in cupboards or the fridge?? I'd have been annoyed too, and would have let him know.

Also, if he so badly wants eggs to make an omelette then he can surely nip out out and buy some himself, or is he just as incapable of looking around a shop or a supermarket?

I do remember once when I was painting the hall in our house and hubby asked what he could do to help. I asked him to toast some crumpets for our toddler daughter's lunch. He asked me "how do you toast crumpets?", which I met with a laugh and a raised eyebrow. In fairness though, he did find the crumpets, and he frequently does look around the kitchen and in the fridge to find the stuff he wants. He has never emailed me about such things.

I reeled off a list of stuff I know we have in, including half a pound of raw sprouts (he hates sprouts)

This must be a man thing cos my boyfriend is exactly the same. He is always asking where things are and i am sick of telling to open the cupboards and look for himself.

He could slice the sprouts, fry them till they are browning and then add the beaten eggs (which he will have collected from the shop) to make his omelette with them.

I wouldn't be able to get sexually aroused by such an incompetent child!

It's not a man thing. It's a can't-be-bothered-to-look-myself-and-don't-think-it's-my-department-lazy-git-thing.

There is nothing intrinsically difficult about opening a few cupboard doors and the fridge and making yourself lunch. And no, it's not more difficult for men either.

See my dp would

Oops.

See my do might text to say I am getting xyz for lunch from the supermarket for tea, or shall I cook tonight?

The only thing he can cook reliably is pasta, though it is dd's favourite so we might end up having it 3 times a week!

I give up. That makes no sense at all.

Wow. Just wow

Well, it does go with the 'man look' (a partner to the 'man flu'), which means you open the door of the room you think your lost item is in; when said lost item doesn't smack you round the face within 5 seconds you yell to DFP:

"Honey, have you seen my really important, so important that I haven't bother looking for it until the crucial one minute window before I really have to leave the house or I'll miss my train insert name of said completely useless man item" My answer is always 'No dear. It'll be where you left it'.

Mine just emailed me to see if I wanted to go to a ice hockey match!