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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be so riled up about someone opening my post?

77 replies

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 13:24

Because I am fuming.

The situation. I moved house about 6 months ago, and arranged a 12 months postal redirection. Most of my post comes direct to my new house, but the redirection picks up the dregs that I might have missed. However - I did forget to change the address on my mobile phone (probably because they don't generally write to me!).

I needed to upgrade my contract over Christmas, and when I enquired ?I was told that to change my address and then upgrade my contract would take over a month - but if ?I did it the other way round - upgrade and then change my address - then there would be no problem. Fine - strictly not completely ethically shiny, but since I have no intention of defaulting on the payment there is not really a problem. And I have since changed the address on my new contract.

However, the provider has sent a letter addressed to me at my old address. Which for some reason was delivered there. And the new occupier took it upon themselves to open my f*ing letter and to phone me (my number was inside the letter to enquire why I has a phone addressed to their address. I did explain the situation, but she was not pleasant. When I pointed out it was actually illegal to open a letter addressed to someone else she said "you will have to take legal action against me then".

And I am fuming because 1, how dare she open my letter, 2, how dare she phone me using something contained in the letter, and 3, just how bloody dare she?

I am actually shaking...

OP posts:

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 03/01/2014 13:28

Did the owner of your house buy it from you and so would have recognised your name? If not then she is not unreasonable to ask why you have a phone registered to her address, maybe she has been a victim of fraud before.

foreverondiet · 03/01/2014 13:29

Sorry I think you need to get a grip and calm down.

I used to not open post, always returned to sender or bin if no forwarding address on envelope. But one day about 6 months after we moved house bailiffs came - so lucky it was me there and not a babysitter or cleaner and I realised it was in connection with previous tenants.

I hadn't been opening the post so I didn't know about it. Now I would open all post regardless of whether illegal as I have a need first to protect myself.

She could have just chucked it in the bin.
She could have not bothered to call you
Refer to above.

TravellingToad · 03/01/2014 13:29

sounds very kind of her! Letter arrived at her house, addressed to you. She doesn't have any way of knowing who you are or how to get hold of you so she opens it to try and find out how to get in touch. Finds your phone number and calls you to let you know you've has post to her house.

She sounds like a good samaritan. I suspect if she'd just binned it and thought 'fuck it I can't be arsed playing sherlock for a stranger' you\d have been just as cross.

CoffeeTea103 · 03/01/2014 13:30

Calm down seems like you have real issues, this is not something to get so worked up over.

MrsBungle · 03/01/2014 13:32

I think yabu. This does not appear to me to be a big enough deal to be shaking over. She probably didn't want to be a victim of fraud. I can understand why she opened it.

HarrietSchulenberg · 03/01/2014 13:33

On the one hand, you're absolutely right: it is illegal for her to open your post.
BUT, I think she had good reason, as you opened an account using her address, which is fraudulent.
You're both at fault.

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 13:34

I hate confrontation, and she was really - not aggressive as such, but definitely made me feel "under fire".

And this is probably the only letter they have had come to the address addressed to us since they moved in, so they are hardly inundated. As we have mail forwarding still in action.

What happened to putting "return to sender" on the envelope? No-one asked her to "play Sherlock"? I accept that this does get old after a year of recieving copious post (I still get mail on a weekly basis for the past 3 families who have lived at my current address) - but opening an envelope is surely not acceptable? Or indeed legal...

OP posts:

lymiemum · 03/01/2014 13:34

she was covering herself and you incase there was a fradulant issue in your name but at her address.
i dont blame her at all.
you moved out 6 months ago.
she was right to worry there could be an issue.

Alwayscheerful · 03/01/2014 13:35

I sympathise with you both. We moved home three years ago, and I duly forwarded all post. One year on, Barclays bank sent a house insurance certificate and renewal for my house (paid by DD) and Two years later I was still receiving insurance renewals for cars, houses, forces kit insurance and various other documents. There was no fraud involved, just laziness.

Perhaps the new occupier was concerned about fraudulent activity. I took the correct action for a year but I began to get worried and started replying to correspondence giving the owners new address. Thankfully I no longer receive correspondence addressed to the new owners.

jay55 · 03/01/2014 13:37

It is not illegal for her to open your post, it is only illegal if intending to do harm.

You were essentially taking out a credit agreement at her address and even though credit is linked to the person not the house it can still make people very uneasy in these identity theft times.

Wallison · 03/01/2014 13:37

If she had returned to sender, wouldn't that have meant that the change to your account couldn't have gone ahead? Not sure what you wanted her to do, to be honest. You shouldn't have used your old address because you're not there any more, which makes it fraudulent.

Binkyridesagain · 03/01/2014 13:38

She could have opened it thinking it was hers, read what it was, and realised it was nothing to do with her and then called you to ask why.

I've mistakenly opened my neighbours post because we have the same surname, mistakes happen, its not worth foaming at the mouth for.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 03/01/2014 13:38

You are, I think, fuming because she has caught you out in a not-strictly-ethically-shiny thing that you did, admittedly under advisement but still.

However. She shouldn't have opened your post because yes, it is illegal to do so. She should have returned it to sender with "Not known at this address" on the front.

Nancy66 · 03/01/2014 13:40

you're shaking? really?

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 03/01/2014 13:41

www.adviceguide.org.uk/nireland/consumer_ni/consumer_post_e/consumer_problems_with_post_e/consumer_problems_with_post_delivery_e/your_post_is_being_opened_or_tampered_with_by_someone_else.htm

It is against the law to open post addressed to someone else.

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 13:41

Um - Citizen's Adivce: If your post has been delivered to someone else’s home, the person who receives it is not allowed to open it. Post cannot be opened if someone knows or suspects it has been delivered to the wrong address.

OP posts:

MelanieCheeks · 03/01/2014 13:42

How did the redirection not pick this one up?

I agree you're over-reacting. My last house used to get mail to about 3 or 4 different surnames. Usually I'd "return to sender" them, but if something seemed important, I'd worry about it not getting to them in time. I'm sure I've opened someone else's mail with good intentions.

SaucyJack · 03/01/2014 13:42

I don't blame her either. I would and have opened bills for previous tenants.

You're in the wrong. If you don't want someone opening your post, then don't fraudulently take out mobile phone contracts at their address.

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 13:42

Thumbs - you might be right.

OP posts:

Fleta · 03/01/2014 13:43

You absolutely have no moral highground given you were carry out upgrades at an address you no longer live at.....and haven't lived at for more than 6 months.

Fleta · 03/01/2014 13:44

*carrying

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 13:44

To be honest, when I took it out I just thought that the post comes to us anyway, and I can change the address as soon as it is set up. It didn't seem like such a thing.

And now I feel like crap.

OP posts:

DoJo · 03/01/2014 13:44

It's not illegal for her to open your post, but it is dubious practice for you to take out a new contract using an address at which you do not reside. If anyone should be feeling aggrieved, it should be her, and for you to be so worked up about this is just strange.
She may have been concerned that you were using an old address to obtain credit (very common and a pain in the arse for the current resident who might have to fend of debt collectors etc), or she may have simply opened it thinking it was for her (I recently did this with Tesco vouchers as I also receive regular mail from them) and wanted to ensure that you were aware that the address was incorrect.
Either way, she was more in the right than you were so YABU.

snowgirl1 · 03/01/2014 13:45

I think it's 50:50. You admit that you did something that was not "completely ethically shiny" (but understandable as it seemed practical) and she's done something which is not "completely ethically shiny" (but understandable as she's most likely concerned about fraud).

ashamedoverthinker · 03/01/2014 13:45

well she could have not phoned you

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