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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be so riled up about someone opening my post?

77 replies

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 13:24

Because I am fuming.

The situation. I moved house about 6 months ago, and arranged a 12 months postal redirection. Most of my post comes direct to my new house, but the redirection picks up the dregs that I might have missed. However - I did forget to change the address on my mobile phone (probably because they don't generally write to me!).

I needed to upgrade my contract over Christmas, and when I enquired ?I was told that to change my address and then upgrade my contract would take over a month - but if ?I did it the other way round - upgrade and then change my address - then there would be no problem. Fine - strictly not completely ethically shiny, but since I have no intention of defaulting on the payment there is not really a problem. And I have since changed the address on my new contract.

However, the provider has sent a letter addressed to me at my old address. Which for some reason was delivered there. And the new occupier took it upon themselves to open my f*ing letter and to phone me (my number was inside the letter to enquire why I has a phone addressed to their address. I did explain the situation, but she was not pleasant. When I pointed out it was actually illegal to open a letter addressed to someone else she said "you will have to take legal action against me then".

And I am fuming because 1, how dare she open my letter, 2, how dare she phone me using something contained in the letter, and 3, just how bloody dare she?

I am actually shaking...

OP posts:

DoJo · 03/01/2014 13:48

The actual law is the Postal Services Act 2000 which states:

"A person commits an offence if intending to act to a person’s detriment and without reasonable excuse, he opens a postal packet which he knows or reasonably suspects has been incorrectly delivered to him."

The key point being the 'to a person's detriment' which is a) hard to prove and b) difficult to argue when you have used their address knowing that you don't live there.

RustyBear · 03/01/2014 13:49

The relevant Act states “A person commits an offence if intending to act to a person’s detriment and without reasonable excuse, he opens a postal packet which he knows or reasonably suspects has been incorrectly delivered to him.” [my emphasis]

In this case, the person could claim that it was a reasonable excuse to try to ensure someone was not fraudulently using their address, and also that they were not intending to act to the OP's detriment.

HappyMummyOfOne · 03/01/2014 13:49

So its ok to claim shes done something illegal in opening your post yet its fine for you to have a credit agreement at her address?

What if she lives alone and claims a discount on her council tax and they run a check? It could cause her all sorts of problems and i'm not surprised she opened it.

HavantGuard · 03/01/2014 13:50

You moved out 6 months ago. You were using her address on a credit agreement. I don't blame her for opening it.

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2014 13:50

What happened to putting "return to sender" on the envelope? "

Do you realise that if she had put "not at this address" your contract would of been cancelled and you would be accused of trying to commit fraud?

You did actually commit fraud you entered into a contract that was invalid as you knowingly used an address that you don't live at.

The advisor has been stupid because then have broken the laws that they work under, to prevent fraud, money laundering, prevention of terrorism etc (I did tele-sales, it was drummed into us that we were personally responsible and would be charged).

How would you feel if others were using your address to set up fraudulent accounts? You know you won't owe them any money but she doesn't.

Did you take out insurance? If you had if had your phone stolen it wouldn't be valid, the person who stole it could run up a bill and the householder would have hassle that she didn't need. A quick report to the police would sort it, mind.

And you think you have the right to be "shaking" , really?

Binkyridesagain · 03/01/2014 13:51

OP I think opening a credit agreement using someone else's address knocks you off the moral high ground here.

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2014 13:51

Just to add that I was the victim if indenture theft via my recycling bin and the first that I knew about it was a phone call from Child Tax Credits because I am a LP.

Casmama · 03/01/2014 13:52

OP I think I would let this one go. Certainly don't feel like crap about it.
You didn't mean any harm and probably neither did she even if she was a bit shirty.
It is probably because you have a mail redirect in place that a letter arriving out the blue rang alarm bells. It may even have said something on the envelope indicating a new contract. Just forget it.

Oldraver · 03/01/2014 13:55

People often bandy about this 'its illegal to open a lette not addressed to you' thing.

Sorry if a letter comes to my address with someone else's name on I open it. I have had someone try to open an account at my address and at first put it back in the post. It wasn't until the second letter I got intrigued and opened it and was able to put a stop to it.

You have effectively done the same...illegally taken out a contract at an address not yours.

Just how bloody dare she indeed...you need to apologise to her actually

MunchMunch · 03/01/2014 13:59

I never make a point to look at the name and address on a letter, if it comes through my door I open it because I just assume it's for me, if I do catch sight of the name and it's not mine then I don't open it. This is probably what happened to her.

YABU to be so annoyed and setting up credit agreements to someone else's address. IMO she was only doing what lots of people would do -question why a credit agreement had been set up using her address.

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 14:00

Actually, Oldraver, I have just sent her a text - because I now have her number since she phoned me.

I said: OK, ?I am in the wrong here, This was the situation though - I had forgotten to update my mobile phone address, adn when I came to renewal I was told that if I updated the address and then renewed it would take a month to sort out, while if ?I renewed and then updated the address it would happen immediatey. Which seemed practical. Obviously they sent o9ut the renewal form before changing the address though.. I can assure you that it is now registered to this address, and apologise for being so defensive on the phone. I felt guilty because I knew that doing it that way round had not been "perfectly ethically shiny".

I am still shaking though...

OP posts:

Wallison · 03/01/2014 14:02

It's not just no 'perfectly ethically shiny' though, is it? It's illegal.

Casmama · 03/01/2014 14:02

Right so it's done and dusted- go and have a cup of tea and forget about it!

SaucyJack · 03/01/2014 14:03

Well done for apologizing

jacks365 · 03/01/2014 14:03

For years as a lp I automatically opened all mail without checking the name on it. If it fell face down on the mat I wouldn't even see the address first. I check these days because the dc are old enough to get their own mail but if I'd opened something like that in error I would be fuming in fact I was fuming and returned to the phone company and suggested their fraud team looked into it. I personally think she was helpful that she called you not your supplier.

MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic · 03/01/2014 14:03

I have been told by more than one company that they don't believe 'Return to Sender' returns - it's overused as a method of avoiding payment. I've spent 4 years fending off overdue bills, court summons and bailiffs for the previous occupants (who did a moonlight flit and the left their car registered at this address) The only time anyone does anything is when I've given up, opened them and then contacted them directly. It's only in the last 6 months that things have gone quiet(ish) with just the odd piece of post. I expect if I move again I'll be a lot more cynical and proactive about dealing with it.

FuckyNell · 03/01/2014 14:07

I love getting other peoples post. Highlight of my day actually. How else would I know the neighbours business?!

BloominNora · 03/01/2014 14:18

What would you have done if she had returned to sender, your phone contract had been cancelled and they had started to investigate you for fraud?

Yes, it may have come to light eventually that this is what you were advised to do, but if the person you set the contract up with hadn't put notes on the system reflecting this (likely given that what they had advised you to do was technically illegal) and the recording of the call had been deleted, you could, worst case scenario have found yourself charged with fraud and / or blacklisted by the phone company.

Also, have you considered that she didn't realise it wasn't for her until she opened it - if she doesn't regularly get mis-delivered mail, she may have just opened it without even looking at the name and when she realised it wasn't for her, was just trying to be helpful?

I think you actually owe her a really big apology for your over-reaction - perhaps you should send her a card or something?

MammaTJ · 03/01/2014 14:22

she was covering herself and you incase there was a fradulant issue in your name but at her address.

^ This.

SmileItsANewYear · 03/01/2014 14:27

I have opened someone's mail in order to contact them. I had replacement bank or credit cards sent so when a phone bill came through I opened it to explain and they were grateful.

Calm down, it's not some huge invasion of your privacy imo.

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2014 14:29

"I knew that doing it that way round had not been "perfectly ethically shiny"

Nothing to do with Ethics! Why are you ignoring the replies spelling out the law.

What you did was illegal and fraudulent.

The law applies to you and if you break it and get others involved, then have the right to tell you straight.

Do you realise you have admitted to fraud in the text? Now leave her spine before she adds harassment to her list.

Birdsgottafly · 03/01/2014 14:29

"Her alone" you done nothing to her spine.

PumpkinPositive · 03/01/2014 14:34

I can't believe you sent that text! An apology was owing yes, but why admit to non "ethically shiny" (ie, fraudulent) behaviour in a text to a - possibly irate - stranger? Step away from the mobile!

Original poster

Oakmaiden · 03/01/2014 14:35

I was completely honest with the person changing my contract - it honestly didn't occur to me it would actually be illegal. Or fraud. Since I was the person named on the contract, the bank account paying was valid, and all the post would get to me. It is now registered to the correct address though. If she were to take it further then I would have to just hold my hands up.

I don't really see why she would accuse me of harassment though, Birds. Since she phoned me (with a phone number she shouldn't have had) and I texted a single polite and apologetic reply to that number.

OP posts:

coppertop · 03/01/2014 14:36

If she's been living at her current address for 6 months and then one day a letter arrives addressed to someone else, especially if it had a phone company logo on the envelope, it's not surprising that she was suspicious.

In her eyes, someone had used her address to set up a phone contract. Not many people would have been happy with that.

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