to think an email is as good as written thank you note on ye olde paper?

[DrNick]

in this Day and age

Email is absolutely fine. There is no magic involved in going through all the faff of finding notepaper, envelope, pen, address and stamps and sending it by post which makes that type of thankyou any more valid than an emailed message.

I think the elderly ones def like a proper letter, just as they would prefer a proper card to an e-card. Younger people I would think about whether they are the type to prefer either way.

I think it's important that the thank you fits the recipient. I like DD to send to anyone who she hasn't seen and thanked in person. For some people a text is fine while I know others appreciate a proper written letter or card and wouldn't see a text or email as appropriate.

But it's the thanking that's important, and preferably it should feel personal and unprompted rather than as though it was a chore to write (even though I know it can be!)

Text is absolutely fine IMO, both from my teenagers and to me from my teenage nieces and nephews.

That's how they communicate these days and I'm happy that the sentiment is the same as if they wrote me a letter I would probably bin after reading anyway.

Mate in oz send videos of thd kids holding it as saying why they like it. V fun.

Think thd paper things a bit old hat

You see lots of ageism ;) on this thread. ThT old people over 50 (that's me in 7 years!!) need paper

Do fuck off !!

As long as the person can read it easily then of course email or text is fine.
It would be like expecting the children of 1952 to go out and find quills and sharpen them because "these modern fountain pens just aren't the same, somehow", to expect today's children to use a means of communication they otherwise never do.
When I was little in the 70s, everyone had stamps, there were many more letter boxes and collections and deliveries, and paper and pen were at the finger tips in the way email and phones are now - and post was a routine thing. It is perverse to make children do artificial things because they are difficult, and will surely embitter them to thanking, which should not be strained, but, like the quality of mercy, droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Lol

Gah - I hate thank you notes, particularly as the cost of postage has gone up so it costs around a pound by the time you've nought the card.

But this year I have made DS do his own for those people that I know bother about that sort of thing, whereas previously I will have phoned to thank, just in case we get judged on it. Oh and we will probably get judged on the length of the thank you as well - I only made DS write one sentence and for those who gave a gift card, I made him thank them for that, as he hasn't got round to spending it yet.

My sons all emailed. I mailed them all the addresses. Apparently their letters were quite funny.

I dread to think

I think thank you letters are nice, but it's probably because you don't get many, so it's a novelty! I think it's always nice to get something other than bills/junk mail too.

I tend to write thank you notes, I write to a few friends anyway (it's more fun than e-mails/texts although we do that too) so I always have notepaper and cards.

An e-mail is fine, but it doesn't seem quite as special somehow. It just gets lost in your inbox, but you could put a nice card up on the mantelpiece.

Depends who to and for what occasion. One friend hated to get a 'thank you' over fb message and itched non-stop until reminded that she'd been rude enough to RSVP last minute on fb. The rest of us got lovely personalised written ones.

The only worry I have aside from the who and what occasion is could it get lost in spam filters? That tends to happen a lot if people are good with spam filters.

I like thank yous, the best are in person though :)

YANBU.

Also, I never got thank you gifts if the gift was received in person. I would say thank you then and there, as would the DC, but why a note? They've seen my/their reaction, have been told thank you, and if they came again, I would usually thank them again or say, 'I loved that' or 'the DC play with it all the time!' etc; - and if a routine email, I would say the same. If not received in person, I get it, and do it happily, but I have received loads of notes from people who opened the gifts in front of me and thanked me then and there. Why?

It has to come from the recipient, or in the case of a very small child it has to feel like it came from the recipient. So a parent sending a text on behalf of a child doesn't feel right to me - for eg, I used to cut out the front pics of Christmas cards, DS would stick them to a bit of paper, and then do a wee scribble.

Now he's 8 writing lots of thank you letters is still a bit beyond him so he writes a generic one, I scan it and he signs each one.

If he had an email account, I would be perfectly happy for him to email, I loved OP's friend's video idea too. Basically, the DC has to have been involved in some way imo.

I think e mail is fine. And I hear you about the ageism.
Also, it seems to me that it's mainly children who are expected to send thank you cards.
Is this true? Or just my perception?

I suppose the answer is, it depends and 'know your audience'.

For me (and pretty much everyone I buy for and receive from) the thanks and gratitude offered at exchange in person are all that are needed, so there is no expectation of an email or a letter afterwards. So, to answer your question, I'd say an email is NBU if your present givers require some additional thanks after exchange, but don't have an expectation of responses to thank you for the email.

I would prefer not to receive thank you cards, letters or photocards. They all go in the bin. I don't give to receive thanks.

A text or an email I can cope with but again, I don't expect it.

Of course an email is fine. Even for those over 50. Many of us old geezers know how to read email, write email, and otherwise use the internet. Some of us even make our living doing so every day.

My teenagers either call, or text the members of my family who i know don't mind how they are thanked, my great aunt and Nan get thank you cards as they like them, they keep them and show them to anyone who comes to visit, so if it makes them happy the teenagers can give up 10mins of their time. I personally don't care if i'm thanked formally.

Mind you thinking on 'thank you's' who should say 'thank you' first? Is there an etiquette? My nan's joint was put out of joint last year because it took me until New Years to thank her for gifts yet she never bothered to call me to thank over mine. I had bad noro as did DP, we were wiped out until around this time.

I care if I send money and hear nothing

Generally I get DS to say thank you as he receives his present. If they aren't there when he opens his presents, like his birthday party when we took them home, I sent a photo of him with his present and an accompanying text.

A friend of mine gives us a note and picture from each of her kids should we buy them presents. It could be a couple of months later. I wish she wouldn't bother to be honest! I'm there to give the present so I have to fake a smile of gratitude.

I want to quash this 'ageism' bit.

I'm in my 20s.

I would like a thank you, if I haven't seen the friend/relative/child open the gift and therefore not been thanked on person. Or for 'significant' presents, christenings, weddings, milestone birthdays etc...

I also send them based on the above. And for Christmas I recieved several small gifts from colleagues and pupils, I have written all their thank you cards today.

It's just polite! Not an age thing.

I also would love thank you notes for presents but have never got one, not for 18th birthday presents or wedding presents. I make my kids write thank you'd to mil or else she just calls saying I haven't received their thank you letter endlessly. It pisses me off if we were with her when gift given as if a nice genuine thank you isn't enough! But for other people like aunts friends etc I think a phone call text or gmail is fine. I'm 55 btw

When I say elderly I am thinking of my Granny who is 90 and refuses to have anything to do with computers. If your elderly relatives like computers that is fine. I guess you can tell by if they email and use FB etc. My mum is in her 60s works with computers and likes ecards I would def send her an email. But I wouldn't call her elderly or she would slap me