This is a genuine, but pretty lighthearted question, about something that I know doesn't matter very much in the scheme of things. But I'm curious about what other couples consider 'normal' so I'm asking.
When it comes to gadgety devices, like i-pods, laptops, tablets, kindles... if you're married or living with a DP, do you each have your own or do you share one between you?
For context, DH (of six years) is very lovely and we're happy. He does much more housework than I do, an equal amount of childcare, but works far fewer hours at his paid job and earns much less than I do. This is fine, as between us we can afford our living expenses and a few treats just about . Our money is 'ours', there's no dividing line, but he spends very little and I always have to convince him that he really should meet his friends for that pint, or we really should take this holiday, or go out for that meal, or splurge on something fun that dc don't really need. I think we both know we complement each other in this way: he makes sure we don't actually spend more than we can afford, I make sure we don't always prioritise frugality over family fun.
So, to the point: I have a laptop and an i-pod, both of which I bought for myself years ago, when we were only dating. I also now have a smartphone with internet capability. DH has none of the above, so what has been the norm in our house for years now is that we have "the laptop" which we share, "the ipod" which we share, and my phone, which DH uses to surf the net if I'm on the laptop.
And for some reason, this grates on me. I think of laptops, i-pods, and phones as personal devices, and would really like to have gadgets like that which are all mine. I get disproportionately annoyed when I can't find the i-pod and it's in DH's coat pocket. And while I don't have anything on the laptop that's secret or anything, I do like to use it for things that feel personal and just for me. Examples would be bits of creative writing, [bad] poetry, recording snippets of dreams and recollections about loved ones who have died, that kind of thing. I would like to be able to google things without thinking about clearing my history after or having it in the back of my mind that DH might wonder why I'm looking up dragon butter or blue waffle ;) , or house prices in some far-flung place, when really I'm just messing around or daydreaming (about relocating, not about blue waffle). For some reason not having my laptop be a bit of private space for me alone really irritates, despite the fact that I could joke with / discuss any of the above wtih DH and the fact that I have absolutely no reason to think that he ever goes poking around in my documents or browsing history. I don't really mind the surfing on the smartphone thing, but just feel a bit eye-rolly that not even my mobile phone is just mine alone.
So, I asked DH if he thought he might like a laptop of his own, or an i-pod, or a phone upgrade, for Christmas. He looked at me like I was mad, because "we already have an ipod, a laptop, and a smartphone!" And so I don't know if I'm being unreasonable / foolishly careless with our money for thinking that we could each have a laptop, and an i-pod, and a smartphone
. Isn't that what most couples do?!
I realise the solution if he doesn't want 'his own' is to go get myself a new gadget and let him have the old one to himself, but he genuinely thinks it's crazy to pay for two when we're married and can share. And points out that we'd have to pay more for internet access, because currently we don't have wifi in the house, but a mobile dongle thingy for the laptop, which I need because I use it for postgraduate work and need to be able to use it in different locations. The fact that I use the laptop for studies and work is another thing: it's not that he ever complains when I tell him to please close his fantasy football page and hand it over I need it, but I just don't like even having to ask to use my own laptop.
Sorry for the length of this, just wanted to give context in order to avoid giving the impression that he's some kind of freeloader or that I'm resentful of him beyond resenting his greasy fingerprints on my touchscreen ;) or that there are trust issues between us, etc. We just have a difference of opinion on whether it's normal or extravagant to have one laptop (i-pod, tablet, kindle, whatever) per adult in the house.
So, do you each have your own or do you share? And am I being unreasonable / selfish / ridiculous? Thanks :)