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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think ds will be eaten alive if he wears his team scarf to the match?

274 replies

BettyBotter · 01/01/2014 19:21

We live near Blue Town. Ds (15) supports Red City FC but has never been to a premiership match. For Christmas we got ds and the whole family tickets to see the match between Blue Town and Red City when the reds play here.

Ds is insistent that he will wear his Red City scarf and cheer loudly for the reds despite us being seated right in the middle of the Blue Town stands. He thinks because he's only 15 and cute the blue fans won't mind.

I haven't been to a match since 1986 for a while, so have no idea what to expect. Will we actually get out with all our limbs intact if ds does this? Should I ban him from wearing anything red or is football now family-friendly entertainment where the home crowd ruffle the young lad's head and congratulate him when his team thrash the home team?

(For context Blue Town is fairly well known as 'rough' and there were no options to get tickets in family friendly seats.)

Tips, advice and sneering derision constructive comment welcome.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 02/01/2014 12:12

She also posted that it wasn't sad or pathetic that it was that way earlier in the thread

SilverApples · 02/01/2014 12:12

'His being a dick could jeopardise the safety of all of the party'

Him being surrounded by a pack of dicks, who will take exception to him supporting a different team, will jeopardise the safety of all the party.

LoreleisSecret · 02/01/2014 12:16

I travelled 300 miles in my teams colours having bought tickets in the home end. I was 13 at the time with my dad, the stewards took one look at us and smuggled us into the away end!

ComposHat · 02/01/2014 12:17

Agreed,it shouldn't be like this, but it is.

Knowing the reality of the situation her son is being foolhardy at best and deliberately provocative at worst for needlessly goading home supporters with a provocative gesture.

Wevet · 02/01/2014 12:36

My partner works for a football club and says the terms and conditions on the ticket technically preclude away fans acquiring tickets that seat them in 'home' parts of the stadium. Stewards would remove any obviously 'displaced' fans from the grounds. I think recently they made a small 'emergency' section in which such away fans could be accommodated if the game wasn't sold out.

aderynlas · 02/01/2014 12:53

Maryz thankyou so much for the cake. It was my phone going crazy in the rain xxxxxx

Lilka · 02/01/2014 13:22

I love my home team, but I'd happily sit with opposing fans as long as everyone was good natured and there was a relatively even balance of the two teams - being a lone supporter of x in a neutral stand would not be very fun IMHO, I like the atmosphere when you're cheering along with everyone next to you. Cheering alone is not the same! Friendly banter with the opposition fans is also lots of fun

However, that's not how it works here, and you'd get ejected from my teams ground if you were seen wearing the other teams colours. And the OP's son shouldn't wear his teams colour or cheer for his team for his own safety - it's shit that someone could be physically in danger because of it, but he could be at risk.

SilverApples · 02/01/2014 13:28

So, OP you are right.
Don't let him wear anything that might indicate his preference for the other team.
Make sure that he controls his emotions and expressions and actions so that they don't realise he's an outsider and get aggressive.
If he survives, buy tickets in the right section next time. Or watch it on TV.

aderynlas · 02/01/2014 13:46

A mate of mine in the police force says there is more trouble in towns on weekends than at football matches. We wont stop going into town, as in all things just use some common sense.

BackforGood · 02/01/2014 15:22

It's weird, in that, for all the football hooliganism and violence in the 70s and early 80s, you could still go to a ground with a friend / relative who supported the opposition, sit next to each other, and enjoy the match. Admitedly it probably wasn't such a good plan on the terraces, but in the seats, I did it many a time.
That's why I was was so shocked last year, when, for all the claims of having 'cleaned up the game' that someone was ejected from a section of the ground they'd put a block party from a schools day they'd arranged, just for the fact he didn't support the home team. I'd assumed at the time it was the stewards of the club being over zealous and somehow let their power go to their heads, but what a sad state things have come to as it now seems to be "normal" in most grounds.
For me, a big part of following a team is the stick and banter given out to your friends / colleagues / relatives when fortunes change each weekend.

FyreFly · 02/01/2014 16:19

And this is why I hate football. Horrible game, horrible atmosphere, horrible supporters. I went to a game in my uni city with friends (only about 5 years ago), and even in the home stands supporting the home team, I have never felt more intimidated. The aggression and language towards the opposition and their supporters was truly shocking. In a game, it's just not called for.

However, I've been to tens (hundreds??) of rugby matches, even finals at Twickenham, and all the supporters are mixed in together and there is a friendly, sporting (albeit competitive) attitude. I had colours and flags for the last one, and I was sat in a largely opposition area - no problems.

flowery · 02/01/2014 16:24

"And this is why I hate football. Horrible game, horrible atmosphere, horrible supporters. I went to a game in my uni city with friends (only about 5 years ago), and even in the home stands supporting the home team, I have never felt more intimidated. The aggression and language towards the opposition and their supporters was truly shocking. In a game, it's just not called for."

Ridiculous to make such sweeping statements about millions of football fans based on your experience in one seat at one match.

If it was remotely like that where we sit I wouldn't take DS. Nice to know I'm "horrible" as well as "pathetic" though. Need an [eyeroll] emoticon.

BackforGood · 02/01/2014 16:35

Agree with Flowery about that being a bit of a leap FyreFly. I go with dd to football matches every week and have not yet met anyone unpleasant there.

ComposHat · 02/01/2014 16:41

Yes morality lessons from a Rugby Union fan! Where the eye gouging, ear biting and senseless violence happens on the pitch.

flowery · 02/01/2014 18:06

We use to have amazing seats on the halfway line just above the tunnel. Everyone who was within earshot of us was perfectly well behaved, with the exception of two people who were very sweary and also moaned constantly throughout the game.

We moved seats and now it's incredibly rare to hear anything remotely like a swear word, despite what I would consider extreme provocation from the team so I'm happy to take 6yo DS with me.

I'm confident that anyone behaving abusively towards another member of the crowd would be ejected pronto by the stewards. But that doesn't mean it's sensible to sit in the home stands in away colours, because it only takes one idiot who doesn't engage brain for it to end badly.

Plus also it's just bad manners. It's not etiquette in football to do that. If you sit quietly and don't openly cheer/wear opposing colours, no one will mind and it won't be a problem, even if they do guess.

ssd · 02/01/2014 20:10

as I said earlier, this thread is funny, people telling you what you are like and what you think, just because you (or a member of your family) supports football

weebarra · 02/01/2014 20:15

I've had a season ticket for my club (currently Scottish top league) since I was ten. I would never wear opposition colours in the home half. It's just not polite and you'd get turfed out by the stewards.
Not sure I like people assuming what I'm like just because I'm an avid footie fan though.

ssd · 02/01/2014 20:25

oh there are a few experts on this thread weebarra, probably have never been to a game or met anyone who has but they can still tell you what you're like.....bit of snobbery perhaps, as in rugby is super but football is full of hooligans? its all here!

Weelady77 · 02/01/2014 20:27

My sons friend has just put on twitter he's been bottled going to the edinburgh derby!! Thankfully he's ok

Weelady77 · 02/01/2014 20:30

Ssd there is a huge difference between English and Scottish games you see it on tv week in week out! Could you imagine drink being sold in our grounds it would be world war 3!

ssd · 02/01/2014 20:31

I know! we went to a big game down south on boxing day, we were amazed at the alcohol sold, but the stadium facilities were great, the food was really nice...mind you its the only game I've ever been too

Weelady77 · 02/01/2014 20:34

Bet the food wasn't as nice as a Killie pie haha

weebarra · 02/01/2014 20:37

I do like a killie pie! Ours are quite good too. Sorry to hear about your friend's DS, DH is there tonight, while I'm watching it while doing the ironing.

Weelady77 · 02/01/2014 20:49

My son always goes on about them he loves them! Yeah he said he's fine thank god!

Lilka · 02/01/2014 20:53

Ah, back to sweeping generalisations. I'm officially a horrible person

Even though I'd be totally happy and comfortable with everyone being mixed in together

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