To be annoyed with dsis.

[Mummytotwox]

Yesterday my niece had an appointment at hospital about 19miles away. Dh toke her and dsis said she would give him a fiver petrol.

When he dropped her off she said she hadn't been bank and will pay him later.

He used a lot of petrol there and back due to road works.

She's now refusing to pay him because it's his pay day next week.

We're not in need of the money, but we're being strict with our money this year.

Aibu to think she's taking the piss

So tell her if she doesn't pay up as arranged, there'll be no more lifts, for anyone, for any reason, ever. Simple.

has she got form for this kind of thing?

Agree to saying no more lifts. That is really taking the piss.

If I ever used to borrow a fiver, it would have to be back on time the day said lol

I find it odd that you wouldn't want to do your sister a favour without feeling the need to ask for petrol money ,particularly as you say you don't need the money . Very strange .

It was a check up for a tooth she had out, nothing major.

let it go, next time tell her to get the bus

Let it go, it's your dn and dsis not some random people.

I think if you can, you shouldn't take money for petrol for a family member going to hospital.
By can I mean 'not living hand to mouth'
Its hard because I guess it's part of your 'family culture' to charge or cover these sort of costs, but I can't imagine living like that and it always seems to lead to resentments.

Of course she's taking the piss. Whether you need the money or not is irrelevant. She said she'd give you the memory so that's what she should do.

Don't bother helping her again.

I'd let it go now but next time she asks say no.

If she wants to know why you can remind her that she refused to pay for petrol.

I wouldnt ask for the money tbh. It wasn't a frivolous trip her daughter had to go to the hospital and she needed your help.

I wouldnt want my sister to feel she couldn't rely on me to help support her through her childs sickness because of money.

It wasn't sickness. It was just a check up appointment.

She is your sister does it really matter. She needed your help why bother charging?

Even if she offered I would have said no. If I don't need it why bother. Family's are meant to support each other.

YANBU.

She said she would pay and then didn't. In future, demand she pays upfront, no money no lift. It doesn't matter whether you need the money or not, its the thin end of the wedge.

My aunt was a lone parent, my dad would driver to all of her appts, airport runs etc..... Never once charged. It would never occur to any of us.

I am very grateful for my family dynamics.

If I didn't need the money I would not charge friends or family for one-off or occasional lifts and I'd be only too pleased to drive my own DN to a hospital check up.

Is this normal for your family, to expect to cover petrol costs like this?

Did you ask for petrol money in the beginning, or did she specifically say she would pay him? I have to say, I wouldn't ask, especially not family and i'd probably refuse if they offered, but every family works differently.

How are things between you now?

it was an almost 40 mile round trip.....most people would offer something. family or not,especially this time of year when we are all skint

the sister was never intending to pay anything imo....and a fiver doesn't even cover it

My thinking is dont give anything you are not prepared to lose. Then you won't be disappointed.

If my niece had a hospital appointment she needed to go to, I would just take her - I would never ask for petrol money!! I'd be doing it because it was family and I'd want to help.

Why is your DH's payday relevant?

YANBU

I think she may be irritated because it's a bit mean to ask for the money. I would do something like that for free and so would my dsis. It's all swings and roundabouts in the end.