I feel a bit miffed about presents for the children.

[Pascha]

I am unreasonable, I think, because I should just consider myself lucky that our families can afford and want to buy them presents. I'm having trouble snapping myself out of it though.

Nutshell is that both sets of grandparents asked what to get DS1 (3) and DS2 (11 months) for christmas, and DS2's birthday on 5th Jan. Both were given some ideas to suit various family members who might ask them. Nothing was demanded, the options made for a nice variety of toys.

MIL hinted about getting a fort for DS1 which he would love. Mum mentioned an activity cube for DS2's birthday. Great. Lovely toys, lots of unrestricted play options there. What they ended up with is cars, more cars, vehicles, etc. They have a mountain of cars already, more than half don't get played with. I really wanted to break out of it a bit this year.

I found out yesterday that DS2's present from mum and dad isn't an activity cube, other similar thing. Its a sodding garage. They have a garage. Its not played with much right now. We have nowhere to keep a second garage.

Is this how it goes now? Lots of tat, none of it really wanted, that we have to keep about the house for visits and find a home for in between.

I just feel that they could have had a lovely variety of toys but they've ended up with a pile of unrequested samey stuff.

Bah.

Any likelihood of getting the receipts and exchanging any of it?

Take them back and exchange. If the grandparents complain explain they were duplicate presents that they're not into. They are a bit young for cars and garages though tbh.

I'd ask if said garage can be kept at grandparents house, as they ALREADY HAVE ONE at home!!!
PITA isn't it! I have 5 DCs and we get SO many unwanted gifts/ duplicates it's ridiculous. ILs bought a Playmobile Noahs Ark for DS a few years ago, last year they bought a cheap version of the same toy for DD. Why they thought she'd need it I have no idea. My DCs look after their things and the original was just on the shelf in full view

I could return them I suppose. Feels a bit mean though. I was brought up in a culture of being outwardly thankful to spare the gift giver's feelings, and to assume that anything we really wanted we should just buy ourselves when we could afford to.

Off to google how to build a fort out of stuff around the house now...

Take them back and exchange. Tell parents that undont want a garage as they have one.
I do think people forget what they have brought previous year. Dc godparents got my 7 month old an electronic toy which they got my eldest four years ago. These things happen

You may be accused of being ungrateful but YANBU in the slightest. My MIL buys my dc mountains and mountains of tat for every birthday/Christmas, most of which is never played with. The junk I get rid of (and it is junk) and duplicates I hide and then regift. Has to be done, and if she listened wouldn't be necessary. When we got married she asked if we would like a dinner service. We said no thanks as we wanted to pick our own. What did we get? A cheapo nasty dinner service which I hate.

While in principle I agree about unwanted gifts and wasting money.

A fort and an activity cube will get played with for 5minutes.

You can never have too many cars and two garages just go in separate rooms and cars drive between them.

I loved toy cars and my favourite toys were a car transporter and a loop the loop track. I always wanted a garage.

DD2 loves cars, she had happy street, hot wheel, random and loads of playmobil vehicles.

The happy street and other non playmobil cars are all over the house entertaining a two year old visitor.
(No way even at 12 would she risk having the playmobil ones, toddlered)

Hmm I'm torn really as at least it's a gift. But it is daft to specifically ask for ideas and then go against them.

Is the new garage decent? Perhaps you could pass the old one on to a friend/charity shop, or sell it? As for the cars, you could easily get rid of some - whether the old or new ones - and nobody would notice, not even those who bought them (and if they do you just say "oh I'm not sure where that one's gone" since cars are small...)

I used to really resent the fact that my parents never choose a gift for the DCs (TBF this is tied up with a lot of crap Xmas memories etc from my own childhood, it's not an "I want stuff" thing at all) but when I read threads like this I see the silver lining - I get to choose more presents carefully, knowing what the best thing for my DCs is, but with money given by them (we label it 'from nanny and grandad' so the DCs are none the wiser that they don't pick it out themselves)

YANBU, this is why I am thankful for a DM who puts money in my account and asks me to shop for myself, DP and DCs and ILs who ask and LISTEN!

That depends on the children though IME starball - my DCs rarely played with their garage (despite playing all the bloody time with their cars that I then step on ) so we got rid of it without them even noticing, but their castle is a big favourite that will last years, and as babies they adored their activity cube thing.

My brother bought DS3 a toy drum kit because he thought it would be funny. Working microphone headset with it. That'll be going ASAP.

I agree with star we have boxes of cars played with nearly everyday. We have a beautiful castle bought when DS was in to knights and it has set there for a couple of years.
That said I have been known to ask my mum to swap stuff as she prefers it I keep crap from MIL as she gets offended.

Definitely ask if they have receipts and return them. Tell them you wouldn't want their money to be wasted. Ds3 (7) has never played with cars or garages. He likes art and crafty things. His most used items are Sellotape and scissors. His favourite shop is Hobbycraft. Buying regular "boys" toys is a waste of money as he is my youngest so they can't be passed down.

Next time they ask suggest money or vouchers then they can choose their own toys, get clothes or save it until there is something they want/need.

I now donate unopened duplicate toys to the christmas charity appeals. The salvation army collects throughout the year.

I dont have space my own house for my own things, all my ornaments are boxed up in the loft. I feel toys have taken over my life arghhhh!

Starballbunny - it all depends on the child. Some kids love a fort and play with it non-stop while ignoring a garage.

And as for an activity cube, depends what's on it. The one DS1 got given when he was 3 months old had a bead maze on top of it that he still loves playing with now, 2 years later.

BUt as for the OP, I agree it's annoying if people ask for gift suggestions and then ignore and buy something completely different that you already have and don't want.

Next time they ask say 'what's your budget?' and then send them a link to the exact thing that meets their budget that the kids want.

Yanbu- everyone asked me for dd too - I said cars/ trucks etc, she looooves them- endless dollies on xmas day

We still suffer from this and my DCs are teenagers. Gave a list to SIL and it was ignored completely. This year the four of us received a doorstop, a panettone, a candle and a small helicopter thing. Kids are 15 and 13. I know we should be grateful for what we are given, but I don't know why I bother taking the time and effort to find her things that I know she will like and use. Grr...rant over!

Maybe next time, make some suggestions, then add (pleasantly, lightly) "anything but cars really, they have tonnes of them that they hardly play with anyway". Might deter them from falling back on 'safe options'.

Go on the swap thread and get something they will play with. It's not being ungrateful its being resourceful ;)

Isnt it funny how one kids favourite toy is anothers ignored one?

The fort idea came about from DS1 starting to play with one at nursery with other children, and then bringing his play ideas back to her house to cobble one together out of cardboard. He really would have liked it. He has many many many cars. Because he likes cars, people buy him more and more, but as we all know they have favourites which get played with time and time again and lots which never get looked at. DS likes little cars - the kind you get in a multipack at asda. Big flashy ones with features and noise and transforming ability and stuff get ignored. Completely.

I will see what ds2 ends up with on sunday and go from there I think.

I'm glad I can moan here about it. It means nobody has to listen to me whinge in RL

Thanks for your input everyone.

I try to cultivate the attitude that toys are temporary and transient, and gifts are not necessarily all for keeping.

So I don't venerate everything that is given to DD as precious to be kept for ever and wheeled out when the giver visits. Very few givers remember what they gave so seeing a child playing with a toy isn't that important.

And sometimes we just don't get given what we want or need. So just get rid straightaway rather than stressing about finding homes for it all. We were given a set of wall stickers for DS this year. They are permanent and 3d. I've just redecorated a room for him, in a colour they will look rubbish with. I'm not spoiling my beautiful wallpapering job either! The 3d ness of the means they will catch on things and get spoiled, and attract dust and look rubbish. So I'm getting rid of them ASAP. I would have felt bad about this in the past- not any more!!