How can a couple get divorced after a year of marriage?

[googlenut]

Ok put this here because not sure where would get a response. Close family member lived with her partner and had two children, big fancy wedding just over a year ago and have now announced their divorce. I'm genuinely trying to understand here, not be judgy. How could this happen in such a short space of time. No other people involved just said they were arguing too much.

You have to remember that we live a lot longer now so "till death us do part" would only mean around 14 years, say 150 years ago, whereas now it actually means around 60 years.

The vicar pointed this fact out to me and stbx.

Remember too that lots of unmarried couples split up.
I think there is still an enormous amount of pressure to be in a couple, this then leads to the "when are you getting married?" pressure and what do people do, cave into the pressure.

Perhaps it would be better to have friends with benefits, I really don't know.

All I can tell you is that divorce is not easy, it is horrific, and I personally don't envy anyone who is breaking up.

Judging by this thread DP and I should be together forever because we're getting married due to the legal and financial benefits and are planning on a low key and cheap do.

From reading threads on here I've figured out that wedding guests only care that they aren't hungry, cold and sober. There will be no chair covers, wedding favours and centre pieces. What there will be is a meal soon after the ceremony, an evening buffet and some money behind the bar. I was going to go with no paper invitations but the two friends I mentioned that to were aghast at the idea because they'd want to keep them as momentoes.

I think people who divorce relatively quickly often fall into two categories. Those who have a whirlwind romance and those who have been together a long time, had children, got the house, got the dog.

I know 2 women who fell into the first category and in both cases the groom confessed on honeymoon to having been shagging another woman. It ended in divorce.

The second category may feel pressured into marrying, or do it for financial reasons or to have the same name as the kids I've heard couples say,and it might be the wrong decision.

Couples who divorce later on, or stay married, may be childless for the first year or so of marriage. This means they are more equal within the marriage which I believe helps to make both parties try harder. I truely believe this has a bearing on things too.

Also a lot of people stay married for the sake of the children. Again if you had your children a long time before marrying, or don't have any, it's easier to make the decision to divorce.

It's easy to stick at a marriage and work through the hard times if you fundamentally love, like and respect the other person - and, crucially, if they love, like and respect you.................

i have been married for 18 months. i have just left him.
He was emotionally abusive. It has been physically abusive at times.
We now have a 6 month old DS.
When I got married I was miserable, but I had sustained so much grinding down that I thought it was the right thing - I can't explain it.
It has got worse since then, and I have run myself into the ground.

i have been married 18 months too long.

Things change.

I know someone who split up on the wedding night, FoB had to turn around as soon as he got home to pick her up. They lived together and had three children.

My first marriage was 15 months long, we didn't live together first though. I think I learnt things I didn't know before when we moved in and I didn't like it.

I told exh that I only wanted to get married to the man I loved and have a family with. Six weeks after wedding he told me he had lied about starting a family and never wanted children and we split, three months after wedding he was dating and by our first anniversary his new girlfriend was four months pregnant. Luckily divorce was quick and I have never had to see him again but family members blamed me for not trying or sticking at it.

This happened to us.

I married my partner if 10 yrs we had 3 DC.

A year later it was over.

I realise now (8 yrs since we split) I did it for all the wrong reasons thinking it would make everything ok and it didn't - it made me feel trapped to think we would be together "forever".

I am happily engaged to someone else now but this remains one if the most painful things I have been through in my life.