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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To buy parents monogrammed towels?

43 replies

Donotgothere · 31/12/2013 01:41

When DH & I had our bathroom renovated last year, we decided to buy new towels. One colour for him, one colour for me, one colour for guests. We did this as previously when all towels were the same colour, we'd forget who had been using which towel hung on the bathroom radiator. Not a problem really if just I & my husband were at home but neither of us liked the idea of using a towel used by our guests and vice versa.

Every time my parents visit i put out fresh guest towels on their bed for them to use but instead, every time, they go into our airing cupboard & help themselves to the towels in the colour my husband & I use, leaving them on the bathroom radiator after use meaning when we go into the bathroom, we don't know whose towel is whose & we have to get yet more clean towels out for use (call me precious but I don't want to use a towel my dad has used to dry his bits on!!)

Even worse, my dad has a nasty habit of just grabbing whatever used towel is drying on the bathroom radiator when he is in there which I don't understand and find a bit gross. I tell them every time that I've left them clean towels on the bed and every time I'm ignored. Maybe I'm just being a bit control freakish over this but I know it pisses my husband off that he can't even have his own towel in his own house & I think the whole thing is just a bit unhygienic.

I know in the grand scheme of things this is a non-issue but it annoys me that they don't listen and disregard my wishes in my own home. I wouldn't dream of doing it in their house. So now I'm wondering AIBU to buy them a set of towels with dad's name & mum's name in big letters all over them to keep at my house in the hope they finally get the message and stop using my towels??

My parents are great & I love them very much, I just don't get why they can't use our perfectly clean, soft and lovely guest towels. Am I missing something?!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2013 01:44

If you just want to keep track of your towel, sew tiny bits of ribbon in different colours on the corners. Solves you knowing which is yours.

Why are they getting your towels out of the cupboard? Are the guest towels smaller, or rougher?

MinnesotaNice · 31/12/2013 01:50

I'm guessing if they have already ignored explicit instructions to use guest towels, they will just ignore the personalized towels as well.

IneedAsockamnesty · 31/12/2013 01:59

This clearly requires an explosion of some description with screeching

Nombrechanger · 31/12/2013 02:32

Grin @ sock!!

ReallyOverThis · 31/12/2013 06:45

Can you not just tell your parents exactly what you said here-"DH and I really don't like sharing towels, in fact we're a bit anal* about it so we went put and bought three new sets-the lovely blue ones are for guests, please use the ones that we set out for you (and if you need fresh ones, feel free to get more blue ones from the cupboard. )"

They may not have picked up the significan ce of you leaving out those particular ones and it sounds like they are v relaxed in your home and just acting as family does, which is of course a good thing. However seems that they need this particular issue to be spelled out in words of one syllable. No need for that to cause an argument though -I am sure that they had to set down and enforce plenty of house rules for you when you were growing up. Can't you just be firm but good humoured? Monogrammed towels seems a bit passive aggressive and an expensive way to make a very simple point.

*I am not saying you are anal( I can entirely see your point) just suggesting that a bit of self-deprecation may sugar the pill.

picnicbasketcase · 31/12/2013 06:59

I think it's over the top to give this much of a shit about who has used which towel to dry their CLEAN body but if I were you I'd hide all the towels in the house until they're about to go for a shower so they have to ask for one. Then you can hand them whichever colour coded monogrammed towel you deem appropriate and demand it back immediately afterwards to be destroyed in an incinerator lest anyone's skin cells stay on it after washing.

picnicbasketcase · 31/12/2013 07:04

Although having said that, it's weird that they ignore the towels you've put out for them to use.

daisychain01 · 31/12/2013 07:31

Could you keep your and DHs towels in your bedroom and take them into the bathroom when you actually need to use them, then your parents will only ever use the ones hanging up which are intended for their use?

A minor faff but at least you know your towels arent being used by them

MusicalEndorphins · 31/12/2013 09:00

I second keeping your own towels in the bedroom while they are visiting. I do that because I can't stand anyone else using my towel. When it is just dh and I, my towel is safe, he doesn't use the ones on the towel rack on the door.

SavoyCabbage · 31/12/2013 09:05

If you have already got towels for guests that are a different colour and they ignore them then they will just ignore the new ones too.

Do they think they are saving you washing? Or are the guest towels a horrible colour?

MsVestibule · 31/12/2013 09:24

I'm the same about towels so understand what you mean. You have two options:

  1. Spell it out to them in very simple terms and ask why they don't use the towels you provided for them.
or
  1. Keep your towels in your bedroom for the duration of their visit.

Just out of interest, what happens when you stay at their house? If they're not fussy about used towels who knows how many people have used the towels they provide for you Grin.

diddl · 31/12/2013 09:27

That is strange!

I agree that they would probably ignore the monogrammed towels if they already ignore what you give them.

Tell them to bring their own!!

stephenisjustcoming · 31/12/2013 11:52

I can imagine my parents doing exactly this; in their heads, it's got nothing to do with migrating skin cells and everything to do with saving you washing. If it really bothers you, can't you keep your towels and your DH's towels in your own room for the duration of their visit, bringing them with you when you shower/bath, and assume the ones in the bathroom are for your parents' use?

Creating a huge fuss about monogrammed towels will probably just result in them thinking you've gone mad, or are making a cat's-bum-face point about their personal hygiene. And if you have to spell it out to them, which you will, believe me, within about two minutes of beating politely around the bush (hee) you'll be yelling, 'It's because I don't want to wipe my face on your bits, Dad!' and that's a conversation none of you will ever be able to forget.

stephenisjustcoming · 31/12/2013 11:54

Sorry, I am sssoooooo slow - Xposted with everyone else...

Wevet · 31/12/2013 13:35

Don't get me started on why my parents repeatedly ignore the special, different-coloured scrubby bath lily things I put out for them when they visit, and use mine and DH's, which are hanging in the shower, wet and obviously used!

sapfu · 31/12/2013 13:46

Agree - they will ignore the monogrammed towels. Put their monogrammed towels in the bathroom and keep yours and dh's in your bedroom for the duration of their visit.

Your annoyance isn't about the towels,it's about them ignoring you.

mousmous · 31/12/2013 13:52

yabu
because they would just keep ignoring instructions.
agree with others, just keep a handtowel in the bathroom when they visit, so they have to use their assigned ones.

Aniseeda · 31/12/2013 13:56

This would wind me up too (I am anal about towels and don't mind who knows it!)

I wonder why they are leaving perfectly nice towels on the bed and getting different ones out. I am assuming you and DH don't have lovely big fluffy bath sheets for yourselves and smaller ones for guests!

I would go with keeping your own towels in your bedroom while they are staying and hiding any non guest ones.

Actually, I'd be tempted to do an experiment and swap the colours round, leaving the ones you normally use on their bed and see if they go and take the guest ones out of the airing cupboard!

daisychain01 · 31/12/2013 14:10

I dont think people who prefer to use their own towels, and not share, should be criticised. It isnt weird at all.

(Cringes at going to dry face on towel and being confronted with a brown mark) Envy oh yes, it has been known in daisychain household, hence why I like my own towel

peggyundercrackers · 31/12/2013 14:11

lots of clean freaks on here... I expect your parents don't care because they were probably brought up in a time where a towel was probably shared between the whole family as was a bath once a week, they had an outside loo and they used ripped up news paper to wipe their arse on...

BlingBang · 31/12/2013 14:26

Once had my name embroidered on a pink towel when I was little. Wanders off reminiscing and wondering what happened to it...

diddl · 31/12/2013 14:42

I think it's really odd not to use the towels put out for you.

OP-perhaps they use the same colour as you as they think that you can then chuck them all in the wash?

Would be OK if you knew which towels were which, of course!

"lots of clean freaks on here... I expect your parents don't care"

  • I don't see what is clean freakish about not wanting to share towels with parents.

And the parents obviously do care as they help themselves to towels!

And tbh, if they have been given towels then they should bloody well use them-not somebody elses as they dont care!

Obviously if the other person also didn't care, they wouldn't provide towels.

Inertia · 31/12/2013 15:21

Yanbu - it doesn't even save you washing because you end up washing your own towels when you wouldn't otherwise need to.

I would

  • put the guest towels out (assuming they are big / thick enough)
  • keep your and DHs towels in your room while your parents are there
  • temporarily move all the other towels out of the airing cupboard.

I used to get cross when my stepdad used to use DC's bath towels despite me providing a stack of equally big, thick, fluffy towels for mum and stepdad and explaining which towels were for DC. He did stop when DC caught impetigo and I warned him that if he used her towels he was likely to catch it too. (I did give her a clean towel each bath when she had it, just didn't tell SD that).

Donotgothere · 31/12/2013 15:27

I'm glad it's not just me who had an issue with towel sharing! I love my parents but I don't want to dry my face on a towel they've dried their arses on, clean or not!!

The guest towels are exactly the same as our other towels, just a different colour. Say for example my towels are red, husband's are blue, guest's are green. All the same size, all the same level of fluffiness! God knows why they can't use them, I've jokingly tried to get the point across but they just don't get it. I wondered if I got them towels with their names on, they might understand exactly what I want them to do but whoever said it is probably right, I'll be wasting my money!

When I go to their house, I ask my mum for some towels, she gives them to me & I put them on the radiator in my room after use so they don't get mixed up with their towels... It's really not rocket science!!

I suppose we're going to have to keep our towels in our room while they're here which annoys me slightly because if they just used the bloody guest towels we've gone to the trouble of buying for them, we wouldn't have to!! Parents eh?! Grr!!

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 31/12/2013 15:29

YABU. Your father doesn't give a shit* and still won't if you start monogramming towels. You need to be much ruder firmer with him.

*except for the remnants of one he's smearing across your face towel.

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