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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think if you'd do it for yourself you should do it for your dc!

54 replies

Back2Basics · 30/12/2013 22:06

Urgh rant rant rant (slightly lighthearted)

Maybe I am being unreasonable feel free to tell me I am

If you wear nice clothes yourself I feel you should dress your dc nice to (which you can do primarnie style or charity shops)

If you wouldn't eat something you find disgusting why would you make a child?

If you have a bath everyday why would you not bath your child everyday?

Why is it ok to smack a child but illegal t smack a grown up?

Children are humans to just because they are small.

OP posts:

TheGreatHunt · 30/12/2013 22:23

My DC do not sweat like adults so don't need baths every day.

They dress better than me and eat better than me though.

SugarHut · 30/12/2013 22:24

I dress a lot more nicely than DS. He has some outstanding clothes. But he's 5...and while he gives not one toss, I am quite happy for him to roll around the garden and trash a tracksuit and uggs as opposed to his better clothes!! I'm enjoying it before he gets to the age where he will only wear certain things.

I eat expensive little champagne chocs...they're in the fridge, and if anyone else touches them, they should prepare to die. DS had one once, declared they tasted of metal, and has always had his own cheapy cheapy sweeties instead.

He has a pretty run of the mill laptop, and a playbook, because he's broken 2 ipads and he's not having the pleasure of doing it a third time.

Sometimes he bathes twice a day because he gets so damn filthy, sometimes he won't have one for two days...we went away for a long weekend once, he refused to use the hotel bathroom (I forget why he had such an objection) and he didn't have one till we got home again. And do you know what, the world didn't stop. And he didn't get the plague.

My hairdresser is amazing, and it's embarrassing what he charges. DS gets his cut in a walk in place for £7. And he looks great. Because he's 5!

It's not a case of not providing him with like for like. Money is not an issue. But I'm not going to waste it unnecessarily, when he's quite oblivious and happy with his lot.

Christmas Day, he did have a teeny glass of wine with lemonade though shock horror! Won't somebody think of the children!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 30/12/2013 22:24

Just because I don't like a certain food doesn't mean DS won't.

He dresses probably nicer than me, but I'm not spending a fortune on clothes he'll grow out of within five minutes.

He gets a bath most days but children don't sweat and smell like adults.

Why do you care?

ShylaMcClaus · 30/12/2013 22:25

This reminds me of a chat I had with my GBF recently and he was bemoaning all the RPs who spend £££ on themselves while their DC are dressed in "shit" from Primark. He doesn't even have children

LizzieVereker · 30/12/2013 22:26

No, I know you didn't mention designer clothes OP, I was just waffling. . I do think some children (and adults!), not all, are inclined to let food fussiness get out of control and it's not helping them to indulge it. But I would never force a child to eat something that they genuinely found repulsive, that's also storing up problems for later.

Of course, if I only had enough money for one coat, or if my DCs had outgrown something I would put them first.

ITCouldBeWorse · 30/12/2013 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bonkerz · 30/12/2013 22:28

My children have much nicer clothes than me.
My children eat food I wouldn't eat because I'm morbidly obese and want them to eat better than I do!

PigeonPie · 30/12/2013 22:28

My DSs are provided with presentable clothes, but it doesn't mean they are actually going to wear them as I don't get their clothes out every day and I don't stand over them making them get dressed.

DS1 (age 8) usually does look presentable. DS2 (nearly 6) on the other hand still looks as though it's summer in shorts and t-shirts most of the time, but that is what makes him him but if that's what he chooses to do then I'm not going to stop him as there are other battles I want to fight.

Thurlow · 30/12/2013 22:29

I think you've just come across some bad threads today. At the extreme all.your examples are true. Kids always eating ready meals, having clothes that don't fit, never being bathed while the parents eat fresh food and have designer clothes is all shit. But as generalisations they're a bit ott

MammaTJ · 30/12/2013 22:36

I take a bottle of squash to bed with me every night, my DC are not allowed to.

I don't want their teeth to rot, but don't have the self control for me.

youmakemydreams · 30/12/2013 22:42

I do buy ds1 nice clothes. He still always looks like he had stolen his clothes from s tramp.
Dd loves loads of foods I think ate yuck mostly seafood.
They can have 6 baths a day if they want they usually have one ever 2nd day they don't sweat as much pre puberty.

And there are times I'd love to be able to smack another adult (not thinking about ex mil at all oooooh no)

peggyundercrackers · 30/12/2013 23:21

yabu.

primark, nice clothes? really?

SPsWantsCliffInHerStocking · 30/12/2013 23:24

Yes really. My son looks lovely in his Primarni Chinos and moustache polo (£2 down from £4)

Dominodonkey · 30/12/2013 23:33

On the clothes issue surely it's partly because children grow out of them.
Children don't sweat like adults do.
Children in general are very happy with simple food ad don't enjoy more intense flavours.
Adults aren't responsible for disciplining eachother generally. Not wanting to turn this into a smacking debate but why is this always brought up? You also wouldn't confiscate items from another adult or prevent them leaving your house (grounding) it would be false imprisonment.

ShylaMcClaus · 30/12/2013 23:34

youmakemydreams

foreverondiet · 30/12/2013 23:38

Eh?

Kids wear hand me downs from their cousins, I buy my clothes new (but lasts longer). Kids get dirty so hand me downs are good (although all have 2-3 smart outfits as well).

Kids eat some processed food like cereal fish fingers sausages that I won't touch.

I shower daily but don't force kids to.

Don't get it, sorry.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/12/2013 23:38

"I just don't see how anyone can spend stupid money on clothes and have their dc looking like tramps..." Well - I look after my clothes much more carefully than my dses used to when they were smaller - so sometimes I probably did look much better dressed than them, Back2Basics!

D0oinMeCleanin · 30/12/2013 23:39

Does this mean I get to turn in my manky old walking boots for a pair of shiny purple hunters at someone else's expense? No? In that case if I'm still paying, I'm still in charge.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/12/2013 23:40

Plus, as the adult has probably stopped growing, it makes sense to spend a bit more and buy clothing that will last, whereas that isn't really a sensible approach when you know the child is going to grow out of the clothes in a year or less.

RageRageRageAndRageAgain · 30/12/2013 23:40

I dress like a tramp and have a diet of chips and chocolate. I don't want the same for my PFB. I even gave him pureed prunes the other day. [vomit]

Permanentlyexhausted · 30/12/2013 23:49

I pay more for my clothes (mostly) as I will get a lot more wear out of them - I won't grow, don't tend to roll about in the mud, can eat tomato soup without dribbling it down my top, don't accidentally draw on my cothes with whiteboard marker, and don't tend to scuff my new shoes by falling over in the playground.

I don't eat fish but I encourage my children to eat all sorts of fish as it is healthy for them and I want them to have a wide range of food choices.

I shower everyday. My children only bathe a couple of times a week as more often than that causes their skin to get dry.

I don't smack anyone, children or adults.

CatsRule · 30/12/2013 23:55

I bath every day...so does my mucky pup ds.

Ds eats what we eat or better.

Ds is dressed better because fancy clothes aren't a priority for us, clean ones are...ds wears nice and clean clothes, albeit not designer.

We don't smack ds...he sometimes smacks us!

I do agree with you op...although I don't like apples and right now ds loves them...I won't stop him because of my dislike...he has a big appetite and will decide for himself what he does and doesn't like...we are all different.

tanukiton · 30/12/2013 23:55

We live next to a park..My 2 year old only wants to wear his sisters old fleecy snowflake trousers. They are too big oh and the penguin top that is too small. i don't care. He has to have a shower and change every time he comes in. I don't (well sometimes). I don't put sand in my pockets nor do I try and wash the dolly in mud. I love hot spicy Thai food my 5 year old doesn't. She can eat natto, satoimo and raw fucking egg white. BLURGHH. i don't do slime.

Backtobedlam · 31/12/2013 00:03

I supply my dc with adequate clothes/coats etc but the majority of the time they decide on one favourite outfit that they live in, and almost always refuse to wear a coat. If we were out walking for a day I'd insist, but if just popping to the shops or something I let them go as they like.

bemusedisnottheword · 31/12/2013 00:05

perhaps I should bath my dd 3 every day even though I know it exacerbates her excema.

But hey I must have her doing what I do, which is to have a bath daily cos I stink if I don't, with me having bladder problems and all

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