To ask for your tips for dealing with toddler and newborn

[CloudyPlains]

DD2 due imminently and starting to look beyond panicking about another labour (DD1 was rather scary) and to coping with two

DD1 has just had her 2nd birthday

After any tips, even the random ones, to help me on my way. DD1 is at nursery 2.5 days a week and will stay while I'm on maternity, as she loves it there. I'm also lucky enough to have a bit of budget put aside to be considering finding some extra help with bathtimes etc as my husband works abroad 3-4 days a week (although will be around for first 3 weeks), although will only do this if I start to feel the need

I know it's not AIBU but I'm currently sitting here bored in hospital waiting room (for GTT) and would love some tips

Get a cleaner and try and have some daily one to one time with eldest

Watching with interest. DS will be 18-19mo when DC2 is due in Feb. I particularly like the packed lunch tip, plus planning somewhere to put the baby throughout the house. I'm thinking travel cot in playroom, bouncy chair in bathroom and moses basket in living room.

I have heard not to leave them alone together. I assume this is in case the toddler hurts the baby? Tips them out of the bouncy chair or something? But is there more I should be worried about with this?

When I say 'alone' I mean whilst I go to the loo or something. Not actually leaving them!

Try to get outside once a day for the sake of your elder one (and your own). Sling as much as possible. I used to feed ds2 in a Baby Bjorn while standing on commuter train, reading stories to ds1 in his pram en route to nursery. I'm sure there are great wraps for feeding when you're more relaxed, but the Bjorn's structure helped on those occasions.

Drink soup from a mug for lunch. Hot lunch more than hot dinner - save the packed lunch for the evening as less pressure then.

Learn to read upside-down so you can read to your elder dc while bf-ing - she stands up, leaning heavily against your legs, elbows on your knee.

Ask people to give your dd1 lots of stickers, new coloured pencils, mazes, other absorbing activities to get on with.

Don't worry if anyone wears the same clothes more than once without washing - a soup stain really doesn't matter.

Give yourself a break.

Keeping an eye on this thread. Come March, I'll have a 13 month old and a newborn to keep me on my knees...

My tips would be to breastfeeding on demand, make sure your OH helps in anyway possible and to have a shower every day. Take each day as it comes and don't expect too much of yourself. The jump from 1 to 2 is massive but help from other people especially your OH will hopefully reduce the stress you might willfeel.

*breastfeed on demand

And as jkklpu says. You must get out of the house as much as possible.

Yes get your oh to take over the older child as in bedtime.My oh did this and it meant i had uninterrupted feeding time with the baby come night time.

I upped the number if days DD went into nursery for the first 6 weeks. She was happy there, and she didn't notice, much easier for me and got me through those early days.

Paid my cleaner a bit extra and she did our essential ironing for a while (and no other ironing was done!).

I had to switch to bottles after 3 weeks (due to latch problems) and I can honestly say it made the routine a lot easier (don't flame me). Breastfeeding on demand wasn't that easy when you have to do nursery pick ups and drop offs, feed yourself and a toddler, put a toddler to bed, all on your own 5 days a week because your DH is working away.

YY to batch cooking and preparing your meals the night before, including a sandwich.

When the baby is asleep, spend some one-to-one time with your eldest. They will really appreciate it and can start to understand when you say "we'll do that later when baby is asleep".

I used a BabyBjorn and it was great.

wuxiapian I think the smaller the gap the easier it is generally as they are both small enough to lift at same time! When my youngest was newborn my middle one was 10months (couldn't walk) and I could carry them both easily - now the youngest is 8months and stronger at throwing herself backwards it's more of a juggling act! ESP ehen the 18month old decides he wants carrying too...

Good luck!

Don't ever, in a sleep deprived haze, mix up your 2 year old and 2 week old. When you change the 2 week olds nappy and attempt to then stand them on the floor in front of you, they will not walk off as you were expecting, but will crumple into a heap. I did catch him in time btw

Involve your toddler as much as you can in the baby's care. She can pass you wipes/muslins, take things to the bin, help to count scoops of formula if you're ff, give an opinion on "do you think the baby's hungry or tired?" Anything to help her feel like she's part of it and not an outsider. My DS1 lost interest after a while, but it definitely helped him to start with.

If you have a hosp birth: get OH to bring the older one with him when he comes to hospital to pick you and new baby up. So that DC1 can understand where the baby has come from and feels involved in bringing him/her home, rather than just having this intruder appear at home.

I've managed to bf DD in my Babasling, although I found it took a bit of getting used to OP

Chat- thats hilarious!! I found myself telling my newborn to put his arms in his sleeves whilst getting him dressed and then wondering why he wouldn't oblige.....!

Watching with interest as come April I will have a 4 year old a 22 month old and a newborn and I'm terrified!

Bloob i had the same ages near enough.Just get the older kids to help you out.Its hard the first few weeks,i had a section on last baby and the others couldnt understand why i couldnt lift them up.

Just do as little as you can and go out everyday,even only to teh shops.

watching with interest. LOVE the packed lunch tip

I had a 4yo, 2yo and a newborn. Try to only do things once. Bath the dc together. Eat with the children. Change nappies together, get dc dressed at the same time etc. accept help if its offered. Batch cook. Try to get out the house each day, take toddler snacks everywhere as a distraction if you have to stop to feed baby.

I now have a 4 yo, 2 yo and newborn too.... Wondering how I'll manage when dp goes back to work! I'm sure we'll be fine... Third just slots in, right?!

What do people do about bedtime?

I have 5.6, 2.8 and 8wo.

At bedtime I am typically bf the baby whilst the bigs are in the bath (we will soon be moving to two in the bath and one watching, on a rota), then help with teeth. The 5yo and 2yo can do their own pyjamas, then we have a story, hugs and kisses, lights out, song/lullaby, and baby and I bugger off.

This was the pattern when DC2 was tiny, too.

DH is sometimes away on business for a week or three at a time so our routines are as simple as possible and my input is as handsfree as possible (because very likely bfing the baby).