AIBU to get all Daily Maily on nursery rhyme characters?

[TiggyD]

Humpty Dumpty! You knew the risks when you climbed onto that wall. You're a fucking egg for goodness sake. A very breakable thing. Don't expect ALL the King's Horses and ALL the King's men to put you back together whenever you do something stupid. I don't pay taxes to bail out idiots who choose to risk their shells on extreme sports like wall sitting.

YANBU.

And our education system is clearly failing if children have to wonder what a star is.

The country has gone to the dogs.

I love "daily maily"

Will be adopting as an insult from now on

YANBU

But please don't get anyone started on The Old Woman who lived in a shoe!

That Jill, just throwing herself after Jack, has she no pride?

Well, the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe is probably to be commended. After all, it is clear she is living on the bread line, and that is apparently a Good Thing.

The old woman in the shoe also believes in "traditional discipline" so another daily mail point there.

I will also be using Daily Maily as my new favourite insult. It is even better than cuntpuffin or fuckweasel . MN has the best insults!

The old woman who lives in a shoe is a feckless breeder who has millions of kids in order to get benefits for them. I don't see why she should be exempt from the choices that hard-working families have to make, and therefore her benefits should be slashed to only cover the expenses of two children.

Goldilocks is clearly adept at breaking and entering, having done it many times before. Who knows how many little smashers' Christmases she has ruined by her criminal activities. Today it's porridge, but it's porridge paid for out of the wages of a hard-working family. Besides, there is that suspicion about the relationship between her and Daddy Bear (turn to pages 2, 3, 4, 5-38 for pictures of Goldilocks frolicking on the beach in her bikini with someone who looks suspiciously bear-like).

Who's heard of that new "Curds and Whey" diet? Seems it can make you arachnophobic.

I heard somewhere that Humpty Dumpty was originally a cannon instead of an egg.

Georgie Porgie was clearly some Victorian Jimmy Saville sort of sex pest ....and don't even get me started on Little Boy Blue.

I think we need to learn the lessons being taught. Ring a ring a roses is a clear warning about the catastrophic consequences for public health when you have of freedom of movement within the EU.

And if people will wander round carelessly losing purses, they can hardly complain when someone else claims it for their own.
Though to complain it was empty, when one has appropriated anothers, carelessly mislaid possession, is a bit beyond the pale.

I do feel that the Mother of the three kittens who lost their mittens is a reckless parent for two reasons:

1 - she let them go out alone and they were only little kittens

2 - she didn't put the mittens on string or elastic and feed them through the sleeves of their coat - in fact, were the kittens even wrapped up adequately for the weather?

bet the Liberal Left BBC covered up Wee Willi Winkies nocturnal activities for years

Little Boy Blue is a lazy little sod who needs traditional brutal discipline. Almost certainly a benefit cheat, a scrounger and a forriner too.

the stupid mother who tried to hush her baby by putting the cradle in a tree top has had her kids taken into care. Serves her right.

On "Piggy on the Railway":

Well, he got what he deserved. The NHS can do without fixing broken bones for thieving pigs who should know better than to wander on to railway lines. Good on the engine driver for telling him exactly whose fault it was.

Eeyore is a manic depressive and is getting DLA of £3000000000 a week
Tigger has ADHD and gets a free car
Pooh has an overeating disorder and is fed chips through the school fence bars
Piglet has a speech impediment/language delay which is the immigrants fault as they are using up all teh schools services
Kanga is yet another Aussie who stole the Ashes.

"Baa Baa Black sheep, have you any wool?"

Of course he has, what else of they come over her for?

"One for his Mother, one for his wife and one for his family that lives overseas"

London's burning, London's burning, blame the Muslims, blame the Muslims.

nursery have got my child wondering what a star is, but before he attended he knew very well

"Twinkle, twinkle,little star
we don't wonder what you are
you're the cooling down of gasses
forming into solid masses
twinkle, twinkle, little star
we don't wonder what you are"

(I am clearly 'that parent')

Dr foster should have checked how deep that puddle was and also, bearing in mind recent flooding should probably have checked the weather forecast first before going to Gloucester m, especially after the floods in 2007

I could have made that funnier and more concise if I hadn't had to put my kid back to bed in the middle of that x

I disagree. Dr Foster was clearly let down by the council who failed to maintain the roads, resulting in massive man-sized potholes. Bloody country is going to the dogs. [insert sad face pic of Dr Foster]