Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for tips from mums of 3 or more boys?

63 replies

RosieLig · 28/12/2013 19:37

Because some days I'm just so fed up! I need practical tips and advice.

They are 11,8 and 7 and get on very well most of the time,sometimes too well as they just hype each other up! It's just the boundless running around, wrestling, shouting, playing with weapons ( yes maybe I should confiscate them!) and not listening or doing anything helpful without being asked hundreds of times. My eldest was tested for ADHD and whilst he doesn't tick all the boxes he definitely has some of the traits and is very bouncy and excitable.

I just feel worn down with if. Of course I love them but I feel quite a grumpy mummy at the moment. The weather and not being able to get them outside so much hasn't helped this holiday.

I need some positive advice from others please!

Thanks .

OP posts:
PacificDingbat · 28/12/2013 19:42

I feel your pain - 4 boys, almost 11, 10, 6 and 4 (all early spring birthdays).

Single best bit of advice I have is to get them out of the house. Outside. I don't care what the weather it like - sometimes I literally force them to go to the letterbox and back, just to get them out.

Having said that, we've not been out since Christmas Eve Shock and they are going bananas. The new XBox that Santa brought is not helping...

So, separate them.
Offer different activities during the day: baking? painting? build some Lego with them?
DVDs.
Intermittently feed them some healthy stuff - I don't believe in the old chestnut of a sugar 'rush' but there is the following insulin spike and sudden drop in bloodsugar which makes lots of people go grumpy.

And have Wine. And/or Chocolate and Cake.
DH is working this weekend and I have them all to myself - lovely Hmm.

MrsWolowitzYouAMerryChristmas · 28/12/2013 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NationMcKinley · 28/12/2013 19:44

Rosie I too have 3 DSs but quite a bit younger so no real advice to give except i understand you. Mine are 7,
4 and 1. My God, the energy they have is phenomenal. I said to DH today that I don't care if it's a monsoon / hurricane tomorrow, they are going to the park or woods and running for at least an hour. I have fantasies about building a giant hamster wheel thing and wiring it to the mains. That would be the best sustainable energy ever, the National Grid would have to pay me bazillions. Best of luck! Flowers but in all reality Wine is more important

Tommy · 28/12/2013 19:45

agree with fresh air and exercise (like puppies) but also, if you can, take them out individually and give them some time just you and one boy.
I also try not to get too involved in their tussles ( unless one of them is seriously injured obviously) and let them sort if out on their own.
I work in a boys' secondary school as well so I'm with it all the time!!

elliejjtiny · 28/12/2013 19:51

I have 4 boys but mine are younger (7, 5, nearly 3 and 6 months). I find going outside helps a lot although I stick to the garden as DS3 is a runner and into everything. When DS1 was a toddler I used to set him up with the jogging thing on the wii to wear him out.

annieorangutan · 28/12/2013 19:51

I only have 2 girls but my eldest can be a nutter. My advice is cordon them off then each child isnt allowed in each others zone. Dd1 is always wrestling or trying to wrestle so if it gets crazy then I go out even if its walk round in rain. You have to go out everyday even if winds, gales or deadly flashflood. No excuses Grin

I dont actually mind wrestling or fighting at all its the accompanying screaming and shouting I cant handle (and dont think the neighbours can either but they do my head in anyway so fuck them)

PacificDingbat · 28/12/2013 19:53

Yy to hamster wheel - we actually have one of those small indoor trampolines which is great for the Littlies.

I too don't get too involved with fights and never take sides unless I've witness everything from the start. I have been heard saying "I don't care who started it, I want to know who's going to finish it" Blush.

And yes, I think it's numbers of kids cooped up inside that causes a problem, not what flavour they are Wink.

aquashiv · 28/12/2013 19:54

I have three and by the dd is the most hyper she has loads of energy always has done. I bought a trampoline and send them out rain or shine to run off their energy.
I think its all normal but I am knackered just watching them some days

Annunziata · 28/12/2013 19:56

My boys are now 23, 18, 18 and 16. Still wrestling one another and their favourite game during the summer was picking the lock while one is in the shower and then chasing the shower-er down the hall with towels

When they were younger I had them out playing rain or shine, just a good jacket and good welly boots!

I really had to use a firm, loud voice if I wanted them to do anything. Praise them for doing something nice and they eventually get the message.

PacificDingbat · 28/12/2013 19:57

I wish I could bottle their energy sometimes Grin.

Vivacia · 28/12/2013 19:58

Physical activity - playground, kicking a ball around, bike rides and swimming. Ours are expected to help outside too.

SuperStrength · 28/12/2013 19:59

Lots of sport is the answer. Doesn't matter what it is as long as it tires them out. We've also found that boys like rules that are always enforced. Bad behaviour results in a sanction. There is a list of 6 sanctions written on the blackboard in my kitchen...every misdemeanor results in another sanction. The sanctions are acumulative & last a week. Banning TV, DS, tablets often does the trick. Rewards can be earnt back through chores such as sorting the recycling, taking the bin out, hoovering.
If we get to melt down stage, they all clean theoir rooms until they are spotless ...i inspect to make sure there is no larking about.
I used to be a hippy...I'm more of a sergeant major nowadays...boys are different & I've had to change. I feel I have to earn their respect now to stand a chance of managing them as teenagers.

JanePurdy · 28/12/2013 20:00

MrsWolowitz we recently had a family dinner out with my two DD (5 and 2), & my two nieces (3 and 1). Luckily we were the only diners in a relaxed establishment as the kids tore around the place, pushing each other down stairs, rolling around on the floor, & breaking a balustrade on the bannister Shock. My MiL actually said 'at least they aren't boys, can you imagine what that would be like!' Erm probably similar?!

annieorangutan · 28/12/2013 20:05

You should get them in to martial arts thats what Im doing with dd and shes 5 at mo but its about discipline and is supposed to chill you out and fight with actual rules. I take the wii of her for craziness and if the neighbours bash the walls she knows its big time trouble.

TinselinaBumSquash · 28/12/2013 20:05

I'm watching this closely, I have a 9,7 and 1 yr old.

Boys are awesome, I only have nieces and lots of them, I chuffing love my boys (I would equally love girls, don't get me wrong)

The coming year my plan of attack is outside (rain or shine!)
Be less involved in scraps and squabbling
Routine, regimented routine! Grin

Nerfmother · 28/12/2013 20:09

Hmmm. My tips are : if they have to share bedrooms put the oldest and youngest together as one will be asleep before the other (oldest on bottom)
Separate activities when possible - baking, colouring, star jump challenge .

MrsBennetsEldest · 28/12/2013 20:13

Mine are much older now 19, 17 and 14.
I remember the noise and wrestling( this still goes on btw, just bigger bodies blocking the tv) the weapons ( although they were quite creative and made their own). We lived on a farm so they had plenty of outside things to occupy themselves.
My tip would be a trampoline ......as big as you can afford and fit in your garden. Mine used ours regardless of the weather. A dog helps too, it has to be exercised. Mine had one each and took them everywhere including on the trampoline.....I once watched our Lurcher climb on the trampoline and try really hard to get a bounce going. Sweet.
As for asking for help repeatedly, don't. Give them each tasks they alone are responsible for. A little bit of responsibility can go a long way. When you do need something doing be firm in your request and use the words now, please......and thank you.

ThreeBeeOneGee · 28/12/2013 20:15

Separate them.
Lots of exercise.
Trampoline if you have room for it.
TaeKwonDo has had a positive effect on DS3.

Original poster
RosieLig · 28/12/2013 20:27

Lots of great tips - thank you! It's good to hear I'm not alone!

I didn't mean to offend any mums of girls. It's just that out of my friends who have girls, the girls don't seem to have the same bonkers bounciness as the boys. Challenging in other ways though;-) just my experience so obviously can't talk for all! All tips from mums of boys or bonkers girls are appreciated!

OP posts:
Coldlightofday · 28/12/2013 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

annieorangutan · 28/12/2013 20:30

We dont have a garden so we have to go out each day. I cant believe some people can stay in over 24 hours with their kids it would turn in to a bloodbath if we did that. It is annoying and cold but its the only cure, except for hiding in my bedroom when dh is in and playing my music ridiculously loud through my headphones. This calms me down and is the best escapism that, and alcohol!

FionasFatFairy · 28/12/2013 20:38

I have 3 DC and my boy (9) is the easiest of them all. He will sit still for hours with either a book, tablet or games console.

DD1 (6) is a nightmare if she doesn't go outside every day, today she hasn't been out. She is the only 6yo I know with a 6 pack. She currently does swimming and karate and is starting dancing when term starts. She is also like an elephant as she hurls herself around the house.

Yesterday she broke the string holding up DH's school certificate after kicking it while doing head stands on an armchair. Today she has broken the screw holding on a door handle after hitting it while playing in a chair she knows she is not allowed to play on.

DD2 is only 3 but is far more wilful than her siblings.

idiuntno57 · 28/12/2013 20:40

I have 4 and getting them out whatever the weather is the only answer. Inside is living hell after a couple of hours. Outside they are immediately adorable.

ukatlast · 28/12/2013 20:44

Nintendo DS or other technology all round....

Strokethefurrywall · 28/12/2013 20:46

I have one so far and DS2 is due in March - I have to make sure that DS1 gets out as much as possible at the weekend otherwise all hell breaks loose!

I figure 2 year old boys are just like an excitable puppies. Keep them cooped up too long and they become bored and destructive - the best trick we have for tiring him out right now is swimming which as a very effective tool!

And after nap time he'll be wearing himself at the beach. Anything which allows him to run like a lunatic works. I'm very grateful I live in a warm climate and can spend a lot of time outside otherwise I'd have no idea how to entertain him short of looped episodes of Peppa Pig!