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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for tips from mums of 3 or more boys?

63 replies

RosieLig · 28/12/2013 19:37

Because some days I'm just so fed up! I need practical tips and advice.

They are 11,8 and 7 and get on very well most of the time,sometimes too well as they just hype each other up! It's just the boundless running around, wrestling, shouting, playing with weapons ( yes maybe I should confiscate them!) and not listening or doing anything helpful without being asked hundreds of times. My eldest was tested for ADHD and whilst he doesn't tick all the boxes he definitely has some of the traits and is very bouncy and excitable.

I just feel worn down with if. Of course I love them but I feel quite a grumpy mummy at the moment. The weather and not being able to get them outside so much hasn't helped this holiday.

I need some positive advice from others please!

Thanks .

OP posts:
Annunziata · 28/12/2013 20:47

Technology makes mine very grumpy and more liable to wallop each other.

sausageandorangepickle · 28/12/2013 20:56

Agree with the above posters, some time outside every day, even if it is raining, lots of exercise, and some separate space/time on their own.

If they have separate bedrooms give them 20 minutes to tidy, with a prize for the best (just keep track of the prizes like 'star of the week' s they all get equal)

Set lego/knex etc challenges to get them focussed at the start of their play

give them their own responsibilities, e.g. laying the table, emptying the dishwasher, feeding pets etc that they have to do every day, so they get used to the routine rather than trying to get their attention to do something on an as and when basis

SarahJessicaParker · 28/12/2013 20:56

I have 3 boys aged 8,6 & 3 and I'm sat with my DH & PIL; the 4 of us are taking much comfort that our 3 are not unusual in their epic energy levels and their constant need to wrestle regardless of the lack of space (they recently tried to to a 'brother sandwich' in the aisle of a train)! We all agree that the hamster wheel is an excellent plan & my 'tips' will only mirror that of other posters: run them like puppies, pick your battles & I only get involved in fights if blood is drawn starts drafting a plan for a giant hamster wheel/turbo thingy

YouStayClassySanDiego · 28/12/2013 21:00

Mine are now 18, 16 and 14.

They were always all placid by nature so not too much bother iirc.

Dh is a tradesman and we always had a pile of sand in the back garden, they would dpend hours digging and wheeling it round.

Get em out .

Another tip; buy a sheet of perspex from wivkes and let them paint on it outside then rinse and repeat . It's a winner.

SpockSmashesScissors · 28/12/2013 21:01

Technology is fine whilst they are on it, but the release of pent up energy once the technology is turned off is awful, much worse than when they have been doing something else.

Youarejustwordsonascreenpeople · 28/12/2013 21:11

I have three boys, 11, 8 and 6. Yep! Definitely try and get them out in all weathers. Mine also do after school activities 5 nights a week. Scouting has been really good for my lot as well. If I give them an instruction I always ask them to repeat it back to me so I am sure they have got it right and are not just nodding along and not paying attention to me. If they are not replying to me when I call their name and carry on doing when I have asked them to do something ie playing on the DS I will say something like "xx put your DS down and do xx or I will take it away for the rest of the day, first warning!" "Xx put your............second warning!" " xx put your..........third warning!" I give them time to react between warnings and if they don't do it after a suitable gap after the third warning then I will say something like " you have had 3 warnings I am now going to take xx away for the rest of the day now go and do xx". We had tantrums for a few weeks but they soon learnt I meant business. They will sometime push it to three warnings now but they will do the thing I asked.

I have to say it feels like herding cats some days.

Andanotherthing123 · 28/12/2013 21:16

I have two boys and a baby of (as yet) unknown gender arriving in January. My boys delight in bashing, wrestling, fighting and the four year old has just learnt to punch. It's exhausting but we find changing their activity frequently helps. When the wrestling gets too much, I've taken to leaving the room as it winds me up! Sorry, not much help, but it's nice to know we're not alone!

secretsofsanta · 28/12/2013 21:20

I have 3 DDs and a baby son. Im scared.

bigbuttons · 28/12/2013 21:27

My first 2 are boys 14 and 15, then I had three girls and the last is a boy of 6. he is actually the most gentle of all the children. I remember when the oldest were younger and they needed exercising , like dogs really. I'm so glad i don't have to do that anymore!

Original poster
RosieLig · 28/12/2013 22:55

Exercise seems to be a recurring theme! Grin

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 28/12/2013 23:08

Up until my first dd had a proper birthday party I had only done boys' parties for my sons. They consisted of constant tearing around and being manic, three seconds of eating then tearing around again.
With my dd all her friends sat nicely to eat, they ate quietly and without much mess, they took their time over the food. I remember turning to my mum, bewildered, and asking" why are they so quiet? What's wrong with them?
It was a totally different experience.

annieorangutan · 28/12/2013 23:13

I often see boys described on here as like puppies whereas I would see my girls as elephants on a daily gram of speed. You can have mine bigbuttons my neighbours would disagree Grin

Bodypopper · 28/12/2013 23:15

Hi op my dss are now grown up and dds are teens.

Boys are a bloody physical nightmare! Girls are a psychological nightmare.

Generalising yes!

Lexie1970 · 28/12/2013 23:17

I only have one and he is 6 1/2 YYY to exercise - DS too is likened to a puppy that needs regular outside time:)

I agree too much screen time may buy you a bit of time but you pay for it afterwards.....

LilyTheSavage · 29/12/2013 08:47

Boys are fantastic. I had three, but now have two (DS2 died in an accident this summer) There were three years and a month spanning the three of them and I always said that with boys you could hear where they were, what they were doing and who was coming off worst. Always worry if it's quiet!
I agree with the poster who said lots of sport, also send them outside to play, trampoline, bikes, football and rugby balls. Also, more are easier than fewer as they can play team games.

Loved the poster who had rules in the kitchen. These rules are best if made with the boys and they agree that it has to happen, also they could choose what sanctions are in place for breaking the rules.

LilyTheSavage · 29/12/2013 08:50

Sorry - somehow posted by accident before I'd finished.

I also wanted to say how lucky you are to have lots of boys. Cuddle them and cherish them and teach them to be gentle with younger children. Send them to bed in one piece and having been fed and you'll have done a good job. Clean clothes are great and anything else at all is a bonus.

A wise friend once told me that there's a special corner of Heaven reserved for mothers of three boys. Smile

I'm sending you Wine as I'm sure you'll need it.

Grin
Original poster
RosieLig · 29/12/2013 08:55

Lilythesavage- I'm so sorry to hear about your son, that must be devastating. Thank you for your lovely post.

OP posts:
ThreeBeeOneGee · 29/12/2013 08:57

Lily: so sorry to hear about your son. x

BettyMacdonald · 29/12/2013 08:59

Oh Lily SadFlowers

YouStayClassySanDiego · 29/12/2013 09:33

Lily Sad Flowers

So sorry.

Purplepoodle · 29/12/2013 09:52

Lily (())

PacificDingbat · 29/12/2013 09:55

Lily, I've read your story elsewhere and did not post as I just did not have the words. Love and light to you x.

BlackholesAndRevelations · 29/12/2013 10:34

Sorry to hear about your son, lily Sad

lljkk · 29/12/2013 10:51

Sadly I do not have energetic boys. I have 3 boys who only want to play computer games and rarely leave the house. 14yo has not set foot off our property in last 10 days.

Whereas my girl is bouncy, energetic & sporty. But not in a pest way, thankfully.

GogoGobo · 29/12/2013 10:55

Out of the house every single day for full on physical activities! I feel like a PE teacher sometimes :)
You have my admiration coping with 3, I only have 1!