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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that ss were right either way

35 replies

Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 18:47

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/mother-tried-to-sell-baby-with-gumtree-advert-asking-for-150000-9028198.html

I really think if she was serious it's right the children were removed and if it was a joke it's right the children were removed she clearly immature or sick if she thinks that's a funny joke.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 18:52

Also I shocked that it had to take scores of complaints for the advert to be taken down

Did the mods not think hmmm baby for sale that's a bit odd

I know at the start of ebay there were a few who tried similar things

OP posts:
Thants · 28/12/2013 18:52

If it genuinely was a joke albeit a stupid one then it seems ridiculous that they have taken her children away! I imagine, well I hope that there is more to this story because if they did remove her children because of just this then that's awful.

Ifcatshadthumbs · 28/12/2013 18:54

Erm if it was genuinely a brainless joke then I think removal of her children is overkill. On that basis I suspect there MUST be more to it.

ReallyTired · 28/12/2013 18:55

SS don't take babies away on a whim. Contray to popular belief public services try to support the exceptionally stupid in bringing up their own children.

After seeing the advert, it is understandable that a social worker turned up and asked the mother wtf she was doing by advertising her baby for sale. My guess is that her house is a utter cesspit and it was clear she was not coping with her children

Joysmum · 28/12/2013 18:57

Totally OTT for a tasteless joke.

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 18:59

Really , that's the first thing me and oh thought sadly she most likely drew attention to herself by doing this than as always

other issues surrounding the care of the children were unearthed

OP posts:
NigellasDealer · 28/12/2013 19:01

i would think there would have to be more to it, surely....?

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 19:01

Also I wonder what her reaction was when she was initially confronted by ss I surspect that also had a lot to do with things

OP posts:
Original poster
Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 19:02

Or ths children may have already been know to ss

And by doing this pretty much was the death nail

OP posts:
Topaz25 · 28/12/2013 19:13

It just shows how poorly moderated Scumtree is. They openly admit they do not have the resources to monitor ads. I've seen job ads on there that are clearly scams as well as ads that breach their T&Cs. They also allow indiscriminate animal sales with little regulation and dog-fighting gangs are rumoured to pick up dogs and other small furries from the 'free to a good home' section to use as live bait.

In this particular case, if the mother never intended to sell her baby, there was no evidence of abuse and it was just a stupid joke then observation and education would be preferable to removing the children. However I think there must be more to the story.

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 19:14

The article In the huffington said she is known already to Social Services and had already been put on parenting classes.

They obviously didn't work that she thought it was amusing to place an add as a "joke" with a child for sale

So your correct nigella there was more and I would imagine she was at the last chance saloon with ss and this just was the last straw

OP posts:
SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 28/12/2013 19:16

I'm in Bradford.

Lately SS are on some sort of ultra keen alert, in the aftermath of the heart rending Hamzah Khan situation.

I think they must be seen to be proactive, not letting things slip unnoticed under the radar.

What a silly, silly girl. Like other posters have said, there has to be more to this....

ClutchingPearls · 28/12/2013 19:17

I read she had replied to one person assuring them it was genuine and she was selling the child. That sounds less like a spur of the moment joke and more thought through to me.

I think SS are acting in the best interests of the children, they are at risk of being sold again only next time (if that was her intention this time) she may be more secretive about it. Once the children disappear, finding them might prove impossible. Thats not to say it wasn't a joke, just that the risk is there and huge. Until they investigate her abilities and attitude towards the children, who knows what she was up to.

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 19:21

Topaz whilest a Agee that in a ideal world education a monitoring would be best

Majority of these types of families takes years and years to turn round *so should the children simply suffer the poor parenting while there parents learn.

*and I would imagine being known to ss were a form of monitoring

OP posts:
DizzyZebra · 28/12/2013 19:21

As i said on the other thread, if the information in the article is correct, theyre being very heavy handed.

For the poster who mentioned parenting classes - These don't mean anything. Anyone can attend these at sure start centres. Social services may simply have pointed her in the direction of them. I have had a social worker refer my son for things at hospital too at MY request because i didn't know what to do (i didn't want to go to the hospital the appointment was made for).

Onesleeptillwembley · 28/12/2013 19:21

It's possible gumtree never removed the ad until action had been taken, so as not to alert her. The kids are better off away from her, whatever the reason she did this.

Onesleeptillwembley · 28/12/2013 19:23

I'm also in Brad and it's been noted that social services here are now keen to both do their jobs and also be seen doing their jobs. Very sad it took what it did.

Original poster
Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 19:24

Clutching pearl

All I can say is Confused

OP posts:
DizzyZebra · 28/12/2013 19:26

And no, being known to social services is not a form of monitoring. I am known to social services and have never been monitored.

First time because my ex reported me for losing my bank card (yes you read that right).

Secondly when he took me to court, they appoint a social worker.

Thirdly the lovely social workers where i live now who have been of immense help and have never monitored me, and are not for negative reasons. One is because i had an argument with a health visitor (social worker sided with me) and the same one visited again at my request, and another due to a massive cock up at the hospital. I called them myself multiple times.

So no. You are wrong.

DizzyZebra · 28/12/2013 19:28

Also, you can be known to social services if, like my ex neighbour, your daughter is a twat and you end up the main carer for her daughter, and your own daughter fraudulently claims benefits for said child and you have to prove you have been the Childs carer for the last few years.

Social services assist people with that. They do all sorts and tbh its negative assumptions like yours who assume involvement equals monitoring equals done something wrong that stop people asking for help be ause they know damned well what you'll be thinking

NigellasDealer · 28/12/2013 19:29

yes i am also known to ss but they do not 'monitor' me.....

dizzyzebra wtf - because you lost your bank card???? tell us more ?

Sadoldbag · 28/12/2013 19:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cantheyseeme · 28/12/2013 19:31

Unfortunately i think SS are damned if they do, damned if they dont.
Clearly more to it, not even a funny joke.
Ive seen a man put his wife in the classifieds in our local paper, i Grin .

SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 28/12/2013 19:38

Thank God SS got the children before she "sold" them , it doesn't bear thinking about where they could have ended up.

SilenceOfTheSAHMs · 28/12/2013 19:39

cantheyseeme yes, they must be seen to be doing something, what with all these poor children who have been allegedly failed by various authorities.