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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider maths tuition for a seven yr old?

71 replies

Thatballwasin · 28/12/2013 16:58

DD has been struggling a bit for a while but am I being a twat for considering? Would it place her under pressure? I feel like I'm not helping as I always found maths easy and I sometimes end up losing my temper when I try to help her which I know risks pissing all over her self confidence Sad. Would I be better just leaving well alone?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 28/12/2013 17:56

Fair enough, I can only go on my DCs schools to be fair.

They both provide lunchtime/after school and holiday tuition for free.

By the way, I said the school is failing the child...not the teacher.

If none of this is available in your DC's school OP, then private tuition sounds like the way forward.

ReallyTired · 28/12/2013 17:59

Sometimes parents trying to help children with maths can cause conflict and confusion as parents don't know the latest maths methods. I think that the right tutor can make a massive difference at seven. If a child hasn't got basic primary school maths then they will fail maths at secondary.

It is utterly essential that you pick the right tutor rather than someone who has never worked in the classroom or can't hack the classroom. I don't think that Kumon is suitable for the national curriculum. Children need to develop problem solving skills rather than just reguriating mathematical facts.

Oblomov · 28/12/2013 18:02

I agree with worra. I told head as much.
I have hired tutor, starting jan. Ds is top of class, but has gaps , seems to be struggling with fractions and probability, for example, and had thus lost confidence.

Snowdown · 28/12/2013 18:19

We used Whizz.com when our dcs were 7. It follows the curriculum, gives a thorough assessment of their attainment so gaps are plugged and it progresses at their pace, explains methods, uses animation & games and gives rewards like online pets etc that need feeding, so dcs have to work to earn points for pet food. Their customer service is very good. My dcs really enjoyed it and their confidence with maths really improved. We are back to it this year as the dcs said they wanted extra help and they had fond memories of using the site, which I think is a pretty good recommendation.

Kumon is not really maths, it's learning calculations, like additions and times tables, it's boring and repetitive, teachers at school warn against it.

Whistleblower0 · 28/12/2013 18:21

Ds is top of class, but has gaps, seems to be struggling with fractions and probability

So he's top of the class. And You know this howHmm if he's struggling, he's hardly likely to be top of the class now is heGrin

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2013 18:24

DS1 had a Tutor for Maths in Year 2. The teacher said they didn't have time to help him (class of 15 children!) Basically she was just moving on and he was getting left behind.

So I got a Tutor by word of mouth. Best thing I ever did. Half an hour a week. When she sorted the Maths out she then sorted his handwriting out.

He is 14 years old now, in top sets and his handwriting has been described as 'exquisite'. Result as far as I am concerned.

Whistleblower0 · 28/12/2013 18:36

My DD is in top sets for everything (year 8] she is set for, so maths english science, and French.
She's never had any extra tution for anything in her life! I'm baffled by people talking about tutoring 7 year olds. FFS, what next.??
I thought that nonsense only happened in the grammer school world!

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2013 18:37

No, not Grammar School World here. Just desperation.

Whistleblower0 · 28/12/2013 18:39

As for 15 being seen as a large class. Pmsl.. You want to try 32.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 28/12/2013 18:40

My DD is in top sets for everything (year 8] she is set for, so maths english science, and French. She's never had any extra tution for anything in her life!

Then, with respect, it's not your place to deride parents whose children aren't succeeding so much. Parents don't always tutor children to force them into grammars, or to make them into the geniuses they're never going to be - many simply don't want their children losing confidence at an early stage.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2013 18:41

No, I meant 15 was a small class Whistle so didn't understand her inability to help IYSWIM.

Snowdown · 28/12/2013 18:42

Whistleblower sounds like your dd doesn't need extra help, but others do for whatever reason, why do you think dc's needs are all the same? Confused

Whistleblower0 · 28/12/2013 18:42

Ah, see what you mean. Sorry, misunderstood.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 28/12/2013 18:44

For the same reason I sent my kids to swimming lessons, I would use a maths tutor if required

I didn't think I, as a parent, was in the best position to teach them

(2 years of wading around the baby pool with red weals around my neck taught me that)

My dd had maths tuition in years 3-4

she is having it again now in year 13 (to get that magic C grade for Uni entry). I would have paid for it in year 11, but she was not receptive so would have been a waste of money

my son hasn't needed it so far (yr 9) but if he did, I would do it

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2013 18:45

It's ok Whistle. Class of 15 with a teaching assistant. But no time to help a boy who had effectively drowned when it came to Maths. At Parents' Evening we were told we needed to 'do something to help'.

HRHLadyG · 28/12/2013 18:48

We have started Kumon and so far all is well. We plan for our 7yr old to be sitting entrance exams and want him to feel confident. Ignore all who suggest its 'being pushy'.... if you can help your child make more progress and he/she is happy then its nobody else's business.
Its unreasonable to assume that the needs of every child in a class of 30 can be met at all times. x

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2013 18:50

Most of the Maths help was to increase Ds1's confidence. Just to have one-to-one with somebody that was reassuring.

Whistleblower0 · 28/12/2013 18:50

snowdown it's true she doesn't need help, but of she was less acedemically able, then she would be down a set or two, and it wouldn't bother me or her in the slightest.
I believe that intelligence comes in many forms, and i think that acedemic performence is actually very overated.

Snowdown · 28/12/2013 18:53

My ds needed help because he struggled to concentrate and listen in a class of 30 kids, he was absorbing very little...he needed a quiet space away from distractions and that was the only environment he could learn in, the school couldn't provide the conditions he needed and for me to leave him with increasingly big gaps in his knowledge would have been irresponsible, so I provided the quiet space and the tutoring.
He can concentrate and listen better now as he has gained in maturity and because I helped him, his maths confidence didn't suffer while he learned to deal with distractions.
That's why you help...because your child needs it, not because you are a pushy parent who wants your child in top sets when they aren't fit for it.

yomellamoHelly · 28/12/2013 19:03

Can you not just buy the workbooks and go through them yourself at home? (Is what we've done on and off for years now and we couldn't afford a tutor.) Also think we know him so know how far / when we can push him and he's come on massively as a consequence.

Snowdown · 28/12/2013 19:05

Whistleblower I agree with you about academic qualifications, they are no longer a unique differentiator. But I want my dc to have every opportunity to realise his dreams. It might not bother you if your child was middle of the class but if your child was in the lowest table in maths at the end of year 1 and they had their confidence in maths destroyed by a teacher who got the whole class to read out their test results, making it very clear to ds that he was rubbish at maths - at the age of 5 - damage was done - he told me he was no good and was able to explain exactly why.

He is now on target for a level 5 in maths, which is great but more than anything I care that maths is not a block to his passions - he wants more than anything to be a scientist, he's passionate about plants and insects, has been for years and his feeling and achievement in maths will not stop him from achieving his ambitions, that's what matters.

notanotherusername1 · 28/12/2013 19:06

I would not hesitate. My maths is beyond poor and my dh works away a lot so I struggle to help her ( ok 7 was not to bad Wink ) She has a weekly tutor and the progress is amazing.

If it helps her grasp the basics and get a good start with it I just don't see a problem with a tutor at any age.

It has nothing to do with anyone else, no one should be interested enough to care what you do with your dc or spend your money on and I would suggest you don't even tell the school.

To me it's money well spent and I don't begrudge a penny of it. Dd has really grasped how Maths works now and She will continue with the tutor for as long as needed.

NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 19:07

YANBU - a stitch in time. Maths, imo, is very very poorly taught in state primary schools. No teacher can teach: maths, english, PE, music, history, geography, art, French, etc, etc.. The lack of specialisation in the primary schools is the reason why the UK lags imo. Maths needs to be taught by maths specialists. There are some primary teachers who do it well but at my dc's outstanding leafy massively oversubscribed primary it was exceptionally poor and the school got 100% many years for numeracy. We even had a teacher who labelled the vertical axis x and the horizontal one y. It's one area where one really can't afford to take chances and it's a huge are that needs root and branch reform.

Sparklingbrook · 28/12/2013 19:08

Any attempt made by DH or I sitting with DS1 to do Maths work ended up in crying and shouting, and not just from DS1. Sad

NearTheWindmill · 28/12/2013 19:09

Oh yes, and my MIL was a middle school Deputy Head. She is totally unable to do any mental arithmetic and cannot work out percentages or convert simple fractions. She is 77 now and it has been a national scandal for far too many generations.

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